Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Welcome back ride.

Barring any more major weather disasters--and by "disasters" I mean "snow that takes me all fucking day to shovel out of the driveway, and then I'm too crippled to go anywhere afterwards"--Bobby is officially back in full work. His feet look great, he's got a chiro appointment finally coming up, and he's not currently sporting any mysterious lumps or bumps.

So in the spirit of bringing the the world's most awkward looking OTTB back to work after an extended vacation (He hasn't been in real, consistent work since the end of July!), here is his before shot:

one lug headed, gangly, under-muscled thoroughbred coming right up!

We've got a lot of catching up to do. As such, Sir Robert had his first ride back in almost two weeks.

Me: Alrighty, Robert. Now that we're both sufficiently warmed up, let's pick up a little contact.

Bobby: Yay, back to trotting!

Me: No, I want you to walk. Just add a little bend and get your head out of the clouds.

Bobby: Right-o. Head down, bend, and trot on.

Me: Wait, what? No. Just walking!

Bobby: Ohhh! You want me to canter. Got it.

Me: Bobby, stop it. Just fucking walk already.

Bobby: FINE.

i swear this is all that ever goes on in bobby's head.

Me: Okay, it's time to trot.

Bobby: Got it. Off we go.

Me: Hm....that's actually pretty good. Maybe bring your poll up more?

Bobby: Yep. I can do that.

Me: Uhh....okay, that's actually really good. Let's do a few leg yields.

Bobby: Yep. I can do that, too.

Me: Lengthen across the diagonal?

Bobby: Love lengthening!

Me: Who is this horse?! Why are you being so--

Bobby: HOLY SHIT!! A FUCKING TRUCK JUST DROVE BY THE ARENA!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING?!?! OH GOD, I'M SERIOUSLY GOING TO LOSE IT!!

Me: Right, there's the horse I know.

it takes us forever to get out of the barn because
we have to stop and say hello to everyone.

Me: Are you ready for a canter?

Bobby: Fuck yeah, cantering!

Me: That didn't mean throw yourself into it and start flailing about. Try again.

Bobby: UGHHHHH. Why can't you just acknowledge that I know everything?

Me: Whatever, Bobby. Make a circle. Bobby. Bobby, helloooo. Where are you going?

Bobby: Look, sometimes I just don't want to do anything you ask me.

Me: Just make a fucking circle.

Bobby: FINE.

Me: And across the diagonal....um, straight would be ideal....or not. And walk two steps, and back to canter.

Bobby: You know, you really shouldn't ask me to do something and then right away ask me to do something else. Do you want me to walk or canter? WALK OR CANTER?

Me: Get over yourself. Why are your haunches not on the same track as the rest of your body?

Bobby: Because they hate you.

Me: Bring them over here.

Bobby: FINE.

Me: And turn down the center line. Hold the lead, hold the lead.....and HALT.

Bobby: Straight up gangster. Where the fuck is my peppermint for that?


We finished up our twenty minute (warm up included) ride with a hack up the hill. We may not have access to trails right now, but we don't need it with the hill and snow on the ground. Fatty Magee was huffing and puffing by the time we got to the top. I've got so much booty worked planned once his hips get cracked back into place, it's not even funny.

bay ponies for all!

10 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha! I love your posts, always make me laugh.

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  2. The unicorn clip almost made me spit out my drink! So funny!

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  3. Why are your haunches not on the same track? "Because they hate you."

    SO MANY LOLZ

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  4. I love, love, LOVE these conversations between you and Bobby! They are hysterical! :)

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  5. Love the Bobby/Carly convos!!!

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If you can't say anything nice, fuck off.