I first tortured my horse will the two dullest set of clipper blades you've ever met, managing to get his face, chest, one side of his neck, and half of the other side done before they collectively told me to fuck off and get them to the sharpening lady before they were going to work again. Such divas.
It didn't help that I kept running into patches of molasses on Bobby's neck from his hanging ball. Apparently someone thinks that the candy can be ingested directly into his throat that way? I mean, what even goes on inside this horse's head sometimes?! Maybe he was leaving it there for his friends to lick/bite off of him later? It did look like he'd taken a few bites out of it at least. All the better to moisten it up and smear across his body, I guess. He is a special sort of special.
But anyway. I digress.
|would you doubt this horse's intelligence?|
(that was a trick question, by the way.)
I set up a 2' vertical at X, parallel with B and E for a warm up jump and a jump to switch leads over. I also put up a 2'6" oxer on the quarter line between E and H so that the approach was shorter tracking left, and obviously longer coming in from the right.
Warmed up, jumped the vertical at an angle a few times both ways, and then came around from the left to the oxer. The first couple of jumps were a hair long, but neither one of us got frazzled and just kept on keeping on. Oh, by the way...
THAT'S KIND OF A BIG DEAL FOR US.
I need to start tagging or labeling my posts or whatever so I can link back to all our ridiculous rides. Hmm, what were the labels for indoor jumping again? Oh, right. "Nearly died." "Hate my fucking life." "My horse jumps like a crippled elephant." "Never again."
But we're getting it!! We are finally looking like we have jumped a jump before in our lives while cooped up inside. Christmas Fucking Miracle, compadres.
We kept the ride very short due to the copious amounts of snow sliding off the roof of the arena. And by sliding, I mean massive avalanches. Bobby is not a spooky horse, but even he was like, "What the shit is going on out there?!?!" It made for a very distracted, tense dude, but I worked around it by either trotting a circle or cantering an extra circle before approaching the jump, and he was a total gem (for him) the entire time.
Best of all, instead of coming to the jump, freaking the fuck out because I know we're about to bite it, clenching with my knees and snatching at the reins, and then obviously biting it, I was able to maintain normalcy. No freaking out. No knee clenching--instead bracing against my heel and shoving my leg forward so it didn't go swinging back to Robert's rump. And I was a master releaser.
In a word, we were BALLERS. (Alright, that might count as three words, but whatever. And "ballers" is a word, Blogger. Suck it.)