Sunday, December 15, 2013

Five Things for Christmas

The end of scheduled posts is near, dear readers. By the time you start reading this, I should be on my way back to Pennsylvania and my ornery bay mule. To keep the blog a-truckin', I'm taking a page from Jen at Cob Jockey's blog and making  a pony Christmas list.

I was able to cross off a lot of necessary cool swag for Christmas and my birthday the last time around, so I'm having to dig for a full list of five things I really want.

LOLZ. Bitch, please. I'm a horse chick. Like there aren't ten bajillion things I want.

1. A Dressage Saddle

This is actually all I'm asking everyone for this year. I want a Tekna because:

a) It's synthetic and I like not having to clean my saddle after every ride (like I do now with my jump saddle, the lucky bastard).

b) It's got an adjustable gullet system which means that when Bobby fluctuates between a MW and a W, I can just change out the gullet. Yay!

c) And most importantly, it's cheap enough that I might actually be able to scrounge up enough money to purchase it myself since people keep rolling their eyes at me when I tell them I want a saddle for Christmas. The nerve.

2. Rambo Newmarket Quarter Sheet

I really want any quarter sheet instead of the small fleece blanket I'm ghetto-ly using now, but if I'm going to make a Christmas list, it better be fucking awesome, right? I don't think there's a classier, sexier color scheme than the original black, gold, and red stripes. I want you. I need you. Oh, baby. Oh, baby.

3. Back on Track Mesh Sheet

With a positive Lyme diagnosis and an already weak hind end, Bobby says he'd like nothing more than to warm up his aching muscles before riding. No problem, Bobby. Just keep in mind that this fucking sheet is nearly as expensive as the saddle I want. I hope you have a rich fairy godmother lined up somewhere, bro.

4. A Truck

Go big or go home, right? A "new" truck is actually on the list for this spring, but who knows if it will actually happen. I want to be able to trailer myself to shows and not have to worry about working around Hubby's schedule. A lifetime supply of free gas would obviously accompany this gift. Duh.


Some people have an epidemic of breeches, like some people have an epidemic of saddle pads. I am not one of those people. I have four total pairs of breeches. One tan pair has a large bleach stain that covers my entire right thigh. The other tan pair has bite marks in one of my legs and make me look like I'm packing something in the crotch area....and it's not a lady something. My white full seats are strictly for showing only. My black breeches get used every time I ride and are starting to look more like a deep chocolate brown than black. NEED. MORE. BREECHES.


  1. Do you also use your breeches until they basically disintegrate? My line was always "there aren't any males that ride at my barn so these holes aren't THAT inappropriate..."

    Classy huh?

    1. Yes! It just seems so wrong to throw them away.

  2. I love my Rambo Newmarket quarter sheet. It's one of my biggest personal pony splurges, and it was totally worth it. The thing has seriously paid for itself in time savings. :)

  3. I had a Tekna saddle at one point for Crispin- loved everything about it!
    Kudos for the '10 things I hate about you' reference :P

    1. I'm so glad someone picked up on that!

  4. Back on track is my death-lover... but actually, Jingle has the mesh sheet and the front pillow-wrap boots (... that's not the right name for them but i'm being a big 'ol idiot right now and can't remember what they actually call them).. I love BOT, and I would recommend it... except for the fact it costs some serious dollaz.

  5. "It's not a lady something."

    Awesome. :)

    I didn't care about breeches before I started blogging. I mean, I wore half-chaps and jeans when I rode because that was the habit that formed when I was on the equestrian team and schooling between classes and all that. But something about all these fancy-ass people talking about their fancy-ass shit, I started lusting after breeches. And now I have about ten, in all sorts of various and beautiful colors. Mostly used. Some with random holes. And bleach stains. And giant crotches.

  6. I'm beginning to think I need some Back on Track socks for my Raynaud's-ridden toes!! I wonder if such a thing exists? Your Christmas list looks similar to mine (except I bit the bullet and invested in the saddle I so desperately needed). come to think of it, I still need to do the review of the jumping saddle I bought!
    I always need breeches, even if I have a bunch in the closet. I've finally found the right ones for daily work (they're tuffriders, but just as good or better than some of the more expensive ones - I ALWAYS reach for my tuffriders!), I just need to get a few more pairs!
    OMG, truck and trailer is at the top of my list!!

    1. LOVE my tuff riders, and they're insanely cheap!

  7. If you get two of any of those things for Christmas, will you donate to my cause? Especially the truck. Please and thank you. ;-)


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