Jump Jump

While obviously I'm still hoping for another elusive 60% at 2-3 at both a recognized show and a schooling show for my GMO's year end awards, I figured I'd better cover all my bases to end up with as many chances for a giant ribbon as possible.

And let's be real. If I don't have a giant ribbon to aim for, I have nothing to aim for. #satinho

SO WE'RE GOING EVENTING!

Intro eventing of course. I sent in my entry this morning for the first of two shows I'll need. I was tossing this idea around in my head for a couple weeks, but I figured if I wanted to actually do it (and spend my nights already getting myself worked up over stadium) I should probably see how the horse felt about jumping. Since, you know, the last time we jumped it went like this:

ope.

Fortunately the day before BM had set up a 2'3" line down the long side with a gate, a 2'6" single with bush fill, and straw bales on the diagonal.

The neighbor was mowing his lawn when I got on which was echoing loudly across the parking lot and into the indoor. Opie was lit and spooking over it, and he even spooked at all the jumps as we walked by them. I made him go up to every single one of them and give them a sniff while he got a scratch. I know your brain cells aren't working properly right now, sir, but you can walk by jump standards, my goodness. 

Fortunately once I got him on the bit and working at the trot, he settled and felt super. Like so super that I'm suspicious of my loaner dressage saddle and emailed the fitter when I got off to see the status of our custom one. 

From the canter we did the straw first. He was back to being a little distracted by the mower and thought about scooting to the side a couple strides about but old Carly brain magically kicked in automatically put my left leg on to block him, gave him a poke with my spur, and he hopped over nice and straight. I actually landed and was like, "Well, hey there, active rider. Nice to meet you!"

Active Rider was needed to get things sorted as we started off. I took him over the gate in the line by itself a few times first and he was a flat, running rocket. He would blast off on landing and I would have to rip his face off to get him to halt.

I thought back to Stacie's post about being soft on take off leads to being softer on landing, and unsurprisingly that worked well so I let him continue down the line. Active Rider informed me to keep a strong hold on the outside rein since we'd been circling to the inside. Hold the outside rein but stay soft, land, big outside rein half halt, soften again, and let the second jump come. He did the four strides easily, landed sanely so we went right around to the 2'6" single on the other long side, and nailed that as well. 

We wrapped up by going down the line the other way--in three strides because so fast. Whatever, it wasn't flat and at least he was feeling game AF.

From there we went out to the field behind the pond and did 4 jumps out there a couple times a piece. He wanted to be spooky about them as well, but I repeated the sniff and scratch process and he went over everything the first time. 

unimpressed with puppy cuddles

Since I felt good about all of that, I went ahead and sent the entry in. Hopefully with more schooling he'll go back to not spooking at everything. And hopefully my useless vet gets back to me about the Lyme test this week. 

Did we just become best friends

Yesterday, in about the middle of our ride, we were working on simple changes. It got heated a couple times when the transition up or down was sloppy and I immediately went to fix it which caused Opie to start anticipating. I switched things up--instead of asking for the new lead I'd ask him to pick up the same one, or instead of changing direction I'd keep him straight or on a circle. 

Opie got wound, thought about going up once, thought about slamming on the brakes a couple of times, and was definitely breathing fire throughout, but nothing got completely out of control to the point where we had to stop everything. So that alone was a big win!

He got his a carrot when we were done and I stuck the other one in my back pocket to give to him after I got done hosing him off and washing his tail. He was in for the day to wait out the tornado watch and 90* heat plus ten trillion percent humidity in comfort, so I left him in front of his hay net with his fan blowing on him. 

Once I got everything put away, I got in my car to leave and realized I still had the carrot in my back pocket. I walked down the outside of the barn so I didn't have to go back in and talk to the girl in crossties (socializing quota: already met). I called out Opie's name several stalls out so I didn't pop up at his window and scare the shit out of him, and I could hear him nickering back to me like, "Mom? Where are you? I hear you!"

When I got to his window he saw me out of the corner of his side eye and hurried over, sticking his giant snoot between the bars for a pet before shoving the carrot in his mouth.

I am not even remotely a sentimental or touchy feely type person. I try to avoid being so at all costs in fact. But I did melt a little knowing that even while we're working through this really shitty, frustrating rough patch and occasionally provoking each other into fights, my pone still wants to be my friend.

Now if only he could remember that when I take him off property....

The shoulders

I am nothing if not diligent in my homework. If I'm given a problem and a clear path to fix it, I'm all about it. 

The problem: The shoulders are blocked and don't want to do any work.

"bitch, no. my front end does nothing but get angry."

The solution: Stretches, TOH, SI. 

"omg so hard i hate it."

I had a bit of an epiphany about using my outside thigh to ask for the SI which has been a big step forward for both of us, although it's still really hard especially tracking right. I have noticed on the longe that he looks a bit more restricted in the R shoulder, and his PEMF lady said that shoulder was more reactive as well, which makes sense on diagonal pairs as the LH is Satan. 

I also think we're getting somewhere in the TOH with me focusing more on lifting and crossing the shoulders--not focusing at all on the legs themselves, just moving those giant bulldog weaving muscles around. 

We worked a lot in the canter today with me nailing him down on listening instead of anticipating as we did a million simple changes--sometimes with changes of direction, but sometimes not. #mindmelt

also focused on shortening my reins and pushing my hands forward
because clearly that's another thing to add to the list

I feel like maybe I have a plan for a better trot? Shorter reins, rounder carriage, always more forward, all while keeping the back soft. Lots of fast but subtle transitions in and out of w/t, forever and ever having to stop pulling on the reins.

now is there a clear and easy path to posting upright?
pretty sure it is physically impossible for me

Ideally, being in a bit better of a headspace, I'd like to do Houghton's second recognized show and hopefully get my fucking 60% at 2-3 there qualify for year end awards in at least one category. Hopefully BM can help get us there in time!

Progress of a sort

Since BM did a ride on Opie last Thursday, I have ridden him 1.2 times, not including today's lesson. 

That .2 ride was supposed to be a relaxing trail ride out back in my jump saddle with maybe a little canter to blow some steam off with zero brain cell use required. Instead I almost got dumped right off the bat when he spooked at absolutely nothing and went shooting sideways into the weeds. He then proceeded to spook violently at everything so I cut that ride after less than a lap of the field and headed back to the barn. We did about five minutes in the outdoor of slow trotting over 12" jumps which he was good for and then finished with a lap around the driveway. 

On Monday his Equine Fitness System arrived, so on Tuesday I got him set up in that and gave him a good longe.

He was completely unbothered by the bands and was super happy to have a good stretch for the vast majority of the trot work both ways.

BM texted me that night to see if I still wanted to do a lesson this week. Bless BM because she's subtly been nudging me along all summer long so far to Do The Thing which has been Very Hard for me. We set up a time for Thursday which meant that on Wednesday I figured I'd better actually get back on my horse again.

I gave him a longe in the bands again, which again he was very good for. He was in a better frame of mind after, too, because when I walked him over to the mounting block to organize all my shit pre-longe he was wide eyed and tense, but walking up to it to get on he was relaxed.

We did about 15 minutes of w/t/c on a long rein with A++ stretching maintained throughout. We quit the arena on that and went out to walk around the pond. 

He. Was. A. Mess.

Everything made him tense up and bolt sideways, and just when I got him to take a breath and loosen up something else [nonexistent] would set him off. We spent at least 20 minutes back there just walking around until we were able to do a lap without any spooking. When we got back to the barn, we did a couple laps of the driveway and then trotted the three elevated ground poles in the outdoor before calling it quits there as he finally felt completely relaxed.

until i tried feeding him candy and he was too
upset about the existence of birds

At that point I was like, obviously I'm not a particularly great rider so maybe I've just thoroughly fucked up this horse's training and broken him mind, body, and soul? But also why are we now saving the majority of our anxiety for trail riding which he has never, ever had a problem with since the day he came off the track?

 

"ok, fine, give me the candy."

I brought that up with BM walking around before starting the lesson and she thought it might be a bit of both. Did he get himself into such a knot over something under saddle that he's holding the tension from that still? Yeah, maybe. But yes, he's also doubtless got something physically going on--if not Lyme than he's still 100% stuck AF in his shoulders if nothing else.

He got his longe in the bands, and then had a long super stretchy marching walk under saddle before BM brought us in on the circle. 

We worked on the TOH first because shoulder stuckage. It was very clear once she pointed it out and all I had to do was look down at his shoulders while she talked me though my aids that there was no movement going on there at all. As she pointed out while riding him last week, he wants to escape his shoulders doing the work by using his hind end instead. And when that doesn't work, his shortens his neck and uses that as a weapon against you. Why work smarter when you can work harder? Good logic, Opie. 

We finally got it a bit where he was crossing over in front without crossing behind, and she put us into the trot still on the circle and asked for SI. Wow, yeah, could not do it. It got him a little straighter before she let us go long and try it down the long side. 

Holy fucking shit, I didn't realize how awful the SI was when she made me ride it correctly and hold Opie accountable for every half inch evasion with his hind end/neck/shoulders/rib cage/etc. We never even got it right, we just got the bad bits chiseled down to not quite as bad. 

We finished back on the circle to try the TOH again. It was still very stuck up front so when I got off BM physically picked up Opie's front legs one at a time and crossed one over the other in front of him. It was super hard for him and he was not feeling it, he's that locked up in his shoulders. 

Of course if he didn't spend most of his time weaving he probably wouldn't have such an issue....

what's that? your expensive pemf isn't enough?
don't worry, i'll just add in the massage gun, too.

So the goal is to do that faux-stretch with the front legs added into his pre-ride stretch routine, keep working with the massage gun alongside his PEMF, and keep chugging away at unlocking the shoulders in lessons because once that goes, everything else should be a fucking breeze. His back feels amazing, and his forward is much improved even in the lateral work. 

BM also wants to start taking her personal horse off property down the road once a week to ride with an eventing trainer and told me I should come to just to get Opie off property and see if I can't get a hold on that anxiety sector. 

The vet comes tomorrow to draw blood. 

Hopefully some good things start happening soon, for fuck's sake. Maybe I get my truck back tomorrow? Certainly heard that one about a dozen times at this point, and I have zero faith it was fixed correctly anyway at this point. Plus I realized earlier today that my GMO dropped the ball on entering scores for our first schooling show for the regional awards and since the (pointless, stupid) 21 day timeline has passed my scores for that don't count. Three shows are needed for that year end award and, surprise!, there are now only two left within a five hour drive of me LOL FUCK YOU USDF YOU MONEY STEALING GREEDY FUCKS PLEASE ENJOY THE NEARLY $400 IN MEMBERSHIP FEES I DONATED THIS YEAR. 

Amongst many other things because my mental state just keeps getting punched in the face this year.

Definitely Not Right

I finally got back on my horse on Tuesday after he got three days off. I rode him again the next day, and then today BM got on him to see what she thought. 

What a fucking mess. The vet will be out next Friday to draw blood for a Lyme test which we both think is probably the best guess at this point with how he's done such a complete 180 in both his under saddle work and his personality in general. 

fake tied in front of the fan so he would stand
still and dry after hosing off the full body lather
he'd worked himself into...from walking

Both days I got on him, he was tense AF and wanting to blow up over everything. I managed to defuse him on Tuesday, but Wednesday it was a complete brain melt down. I ended up not being able to take him off a 20m circle in the middle of the ring at the walk because the second I tried to go straight he tried to go up. 

Why? Because I asked him to slow down his walk instead of speed racing crookedly face first into the ground.

The audacity, I know. 

BM didn't get to experience the bolting/rearing/leaping/spinning shit from the saddle (she's seen it plenty from the ground), but she did get to experience everything else--including Opie Logic where he knew he just COULD NOT do shoulder in so she was like, "How about we just halt off my seat then, and stop rage walking?" To which his response was, "OMG I'M JUST GOING TO GRIND MY TEETH AND IGNORE THAT VERY BASIC REQUEST AND SHOULDER IN RIGHT THROUGH YOUR AIDS FOR THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE RING INSTEAD OF HALTING."

She agreed that overall he felt incredibly tense and anxious over nothingggg, and pretty much felt like shit in general. She thought he was very blocked in his shoulders which was translating to being blocked in his neck too. 

She rode for about thirty to forty minutes, the majority of which was walk, and when she was done he was absolutely soaked in sweat and very reactive to being touched along his shoulders and flanks. She dug into his back and lumbar area when I pulled the saddle off, but he was completely nonreactive there.

So, again, certainly things that would make sense for a Lyme flare up. Because if it's not that, then who the fuck knows what's going in his giant black head?

Houghton Spring Dressage I

After having yet another mental meltdown over my truck still being MIA and resigning myself to scratching yet another show, BM offered up her truck for the weekend and then pressured me into actually accepting it. 

Quite frankly, after the shit show of cross country schooling, the pain in my knee, my horse's general shit attitude, and all sorts of other things, I wasn't really feeling the participation vibes. I kind of just wanted to chuck my horse into a field and never look at him again. 

Unfortunately, once BM convinced me to take her truck and go fucking show already it meant I did have to put a ride in on my horse.

It was dreadful!

He warmed up fine until I asked him to do real work at which point he slammed on the brakes and tried his rearing, spinning "not gonna do it" routine so I reached back and cracked him one with my jumping bat. Commence ten minutes of bolting while I kind of sort of steered and BM and I just shrugged like, "What the actual fuck do you do at this point because this is so unnecessary." 

Once he was done galloping around out of control, I put him right back to work and lo and behold he could do the bare minimum. 

He was a rage monster for his bath the day before the show and earned himself a serious ground work session about manners, but he loaded up cool as a cucumber the next morning and arrived at the show totally chill.

horses in turnout on the other side of that truck,
and horses directly behind me grazing and showing.
in short: SURROUNDED BY HORSES.

As always I ended up on a little bit too early. He was so chill I was convinced I had super star #childgenius Show Dopie on my hands. I gave him a brief w/t/c before leaving the warm up ring and strolling around outside it in the grass for awhile so I didn't use him up before our test because it was already hot. 

About ten-fifteen minutes before our test I brought him back into the ring and picked him up. Yup, cue #childsatan. 

I ended up having to reach back and slap him with my hand to put a stop to the running backwards at full speed when ferociously pony club kicking got me nowhere. Obviously his answer to that was to rocket forward, but fortunately I had enough space around me to pull him right onto a tiny circle and shut that down. 

That was the extent of the dramatics, but he was locked up tight as could be and I just straight up quit and headed over to our ring. 

i did feel like our outfit was on point at least

The test itself actually felt alright. I had no forward or relaxation, but he did all the things in all the places and kept all four feet on the ground. 

The judge tho. Would it even be me showing if I didn't have a judge story?

This is the same judge I rode Training 1 under back in 2018. Every comment was "nose out". Apparently he's changed things up now tho!

And if you're like, "God damn, maybe you should get your horse on the bit already!" my friend rode 1-3 under him the next day and her test is identical. He was scoring everyone like shit except the one horse in my 2-3 test that I just knew I was going to beat because her horse's nose was poking skyward the entire test and he didn't have a simple change to save his life. That pair got a 62%, just shy of the two pros scores who rode beautiful tests. 

While I was sitting at the trailer eating my lunch and being disgusted over the comments (the score didn't bother me aside from being meh about not squeaking out a 60%), Opie was having himself a tantrum. Despite being surrounded on all sides by clearly visible groups of horses, he was weaving, chewing on his tongue, and thrashing around like an asshole. He eventually--while basically climbing the side of my trailer--stepped in his water bucket, dumped it all over, and then got the handle hooked around his leg. He smashed the bucket and flung it away while not once acknowledging its existence because that would mean taking his eyes off soul mates. 

I called it quits right fucking there. I put him on the trailer and went to scratch my second test that was still four hours away. 

I debated back and forth the whole drive home on whether or not I wanted to go back to show the next day and even left my trailer hooked up, but I emailed the secretary my scratch a couple hours later. My friend said the judge I was showing under the next day was even worse than the one I'd just ridden with, and I had no desire to sit in blazing hot sun with a horse I don't currently like from 8am until 4pm. 

I then went and scratched the recognized show I had just entered at the end of the month, and got an email back from the secretary who said she was the TD at Houghton and she'd seen my warm up so she understood completely. Well thanks. Well done, Opie. 

sorry your life is so hard

So where do we go from here? Certainly no Bronze this year. No All Breeds. Super pumped I shelled out all that extra money for a PM. I'd still like to go for a year end award at schooling shows which means we have to get at least one 60% at 2-3. 

When BM gets back from VA, I'm going to start weekly lessons and see if she has anyone that needs the vet so I can split the obscene call charge for a Lyme test. Otherwise I don't know. I've got to get a reliable forward button while keeping the rage monster under control which is tough when I don't know what the fuck is going on with this horse.

GVH XC School

 Wellll putting in the old xc school to give Opie's brain a fun reset backfired completely. 

soul mates sighted

We went with a group of five others from my barn, but as soon as Opie unloaded he immediately sighted in on a group of horses waaaaaay off in the distance out schooling. He could have cared less about the others horses he was with, and even once we got down to the field to warm up I basically had to see-saw his head down to get him to steer because his whole body wanted to follow his periscope head that was locked on to the other horses he didn't know. 

He eventually settled and I was able to ask him to step into the canter without drama. Except then my fucked up knee--which has been getting progressively more painful instead of less--shit the bed on me and I had to pull up after one big circle. I couldn't get out of the saddle and it quickly devolved into not being able to put weight in my heels on landing, and then just straight up pain with any weight in the stirrup at all. 

first jump

Since we were down the road from where we usually school, this facility really didn't have much for intro or basic BN questions. We found a tiny log set just out of the water to start with. Opie was a bit hesitant to walk into the churned up muddy water, but soon went in and had his splash party. We trotted out of the water and out to the log where he slammed on the brakes three strides out. I let him have a quick look before representing and he went albeit like a rabid deer. A couple repeats and he finally went normally.

We attempted the bank out, but it was pretty large and weirdly built and he sputtered to a stop when he got no real urging from me so I just said fuck it. I was already in current favorite negative, defeatist headspace and not committed to jumping anything.

We went up the hill and took video for everyone as they did a couple simple jumps, moved along and did the same, and then found a couple of baby logs that even I felt comfortable doing. 

They were small enough I didn't need to use my right stirrup so that was a win that we at least got to jump something.

Further along the path there were a couple more simple logs. We did the BN one twice because the first time was another rabid deer jump.

Opie felt like he was in tune to me at this point and the N log beside it didn't look terrible from the backside. Of course once I came at it head on, it seemed a bit more for the little shit we'd been doing and me having no right leg. I didn't ride super aggressively, but he was locked on and I didn't feel any hesitation from him--until he went to lift up and jump. I smacked him on the shoulder to make sure he picked his legs up...which he did, and then quit and slammed then on the ground on the other side before shimmying backwards off the jump. 

Of course I was already jumping with him so I got chucked over his shoulder and landed with my own two feet on the other side of the jump.

Absolutely ridiculous.

He was fine, I was fine, and I officially got my first fall off him out of the way. (I told my barn mates as I was climbing back on that it was my first fall with him and they all simultaneously cheered lol. Thanks, fam!)

We opted out of the next few things obvi, and then made our way back to the water where I made him do the tiny log a couple more times. 

We finished by crossing a tiny creek/culver that he jumped heading over and waited while my barn mates did the ditch. Opie was back in rage monster mode and angrily pawing the ground, grinding his teeth, and literally foaming at the mouth. Like, if you want to jump or do absolutely anything then you've got to be polite sir. And you can't do that right now, so fuck you. Just stand there and be pissed about how fucking awful your life is.

We headed back out over the creek/culvert (it's an actual crossing for their HTs so it's perfect footing and the water is maybe an inch deep), and he slammed on the brakes and started spinning. Fuck you. I wasn't going to let him jump it again because fucking seriously so BM took the kids and headed back to the trailers while K stayed with me on the other side while Opie genuinely piaffed (even BM was like, "OK wow that's actually quite legit.") before switching tactics and throwing it in reverse. Like, bye, K is now just as spot in the distance while I sit here with my reins on the buckle and my horse just runs backwards for no fucking reason. 

I finally had to have K come retrieve us and grab his rein to get him to stop long enough for me to shimmy off and lead him into the water on foot. Where we then spent ten minutes standing with all four feet in it--which was difficult because it's such a narrow strip of water it was barely wide enough for his whole body to be in it at once. And then we walked back and forth through it until he could do it without running me over or trying to bolt. 

SUCH A GOOD TIME, OPIE.

walking back to the trailer grinding his teeth

I honestly don't know where this straight up ANGER is coming from lately. He's not getting worked any harder, and these tantrums seem to be coming more when I'm asking for something easy than something actually difficult. I've done the saddle, the teeth, the body work, the vet work up, his feet just got done last week, he's on an ulcer supp, a calming supp, more hay than he can finish in a day, plenty of turnout, etc etc. What the fuck are you wanting for in life, Opie?!