The Cost of 2020

2019, with links to the other years I've done this starting in 2016.

Memberships: $45

• I renewed my GMO's membership in November. I ended up sitting on renewing anything else in the spring because I wasn't sure my truck/finances/horse's mental state were going to get us to a show ring. Turns out it was a prudent choice and I didn't waste a dime on memberships that I couldn't do anything with. 

Vet: $1,526.25

• Radiographs, ultrasounds, and plenty of maintenance kicked this one up a notch this year. 

Board: $1,710

• Getting abused in the morning by naughty horses keeps the cost down!

Truck and Trailer: $567.25

• I could have added more on to this one when the truck's transmission blew, but I told Hubby to blow the bitch up because I was done dealing with it. He fixed the transmission, but I didn't add it to the tally because I'm done hauling with it everrrrrr. New truck next year, and the trailer needs to get its electric sorted again so that's going to be a whopper in 2021.

Farrier: $630

Lessons: $0

Shows: $421.84

• A hunter show, a few hunter paces, a jumper derby, and a whole lot of cross country schooling. 

Supplements: $1,203.99

• This includes a monthly supply of Nutrena Empower Boost, a late addition of Purina Outlast, and a couple other cheap things throughout the year (Buteless for his bum leg, UGard before the Outlast, yada yada). It's also a six month supply of his expensive magical mushrooms for his teeth. He hasn't been on that for a month because I'm going to try to the old on for six, off for three thing to see if it can justify the cost. Or if his dentist ever gets back to me to schedule an appointment and she tells me he has a whole new mouth.

Tack and Equipment: $2,086.37

• I bought a western saddle. And a jump saddle. And a super nice double bridle. Really everything else was just chump change LOL. 

Total: $8,190.70

• This could have been so much more if I had showed for real this year! But also I probably wouldn't have bought a western saddle and a jump saddle if I had been focused on showing dressage, soooo....

2020 Year in Review

2020 was the first full year I had my blog private, and it turned out to be the perfect year for it. I feel like I was more honest and frank about my rides than I have been in a long time--both for the good and the bad. 

January

January was a mixed month. After giving Opie most of December off when we both got burnt out, we did some jump schools (good), some trail rides (good), some dressage schools (some good, some the typical mid-winter Satanic variety), and he got introduced to the double--just during stretch rides, but he took to it well. 

February

We started off the month drilling the basics on the flat: being round, being forward, being supple in the lateral work...being obedient. All the horrible stuff, but much needed for both of us. He got adjusted by the chiro for an out of whack LH--there's that pesky leg again! We finished the month doing a few jump schools and owning game night yet again.

March

More enforcing the basics and cleaning up the Second level work. Opie finally started to understand the medium trot for the first time, and we finished out the month "starting" the changes. Even back then, the L-R was good, but the R-L was a hot mess. We did a few bridleless jump schools just for funsies. I railed about my lack of a reliable hauling vehicle and my horse's tension, and how they were going to ruin our show season. Then COVID was like, "Surprise, bitch, I can do all that for you." And no show season was to be had!

April

We attempted to pull Opie's shoes since we weren't going anywhere in the foreseeable future thanks to the 'rona. He ended up with an abscess in a hind foot, and his feet got too chewed up and tender barefoot so that was the end of any exciting farrier news for the year. We started to work for real in the double, and also introduced Opie to barrels. Because 'rona. Do all the things.

May

We started the month with a couple jumps schools which he was pretty wild for. We did a ton of trail riding, and kept sneaking in work on the changes with middling success. 

June

MOAR TRAIL RIDING. MOAR JUMPING. MOAR FUCKING AROUND. We enjoyed the shit out of June. Got a hunter pace in during which I almost died of heat stroke because Fat, jumped everything inside and out of the barn, and closed out the month by doing a jumper derby in which Opie was slightly rabid, but bold and brave and got a fourth in the Intro and a sixth in the BN.

July

We did another hunter pace and switched back and forth between cross country schooling and doing real dressage work this month. A++ for the jumping, more like a C+ for the dressage with some serious battles over the counter--specifically the counter canter.

August

EVEN MOAR TRAIL RIDING. And fucking around of course. We did our very first test ride of 3-1 which was sloppy, but felt doable. The R-L change continued to be our nemesis. We finished out the month with another cross country school. 

September

We kicked off this month in a horrible no good way. I was getting drama piled on top of me, and Opie was just adding fuel to the fire by having a complete meltdown over the changes. He fucked up my back badly, couldn't relax to save his life even hacking out, and earned himself a spot on the chiro's wait list. Halfway through the month I dropped the dressage, did a couple of hunter oriented rides, went on vacation for a week, and then came back and did a wild hunter show. By the end of the month, however, I had gotten us back on track and kept everything from imploding.

October

Opie got adjusted by the chiro at the beginning of the month and it kicked off a long lameness journey. He was out in the usual places, but when the chiro got to the LH (always the problem leg), he fucked around for a long time and then thought what was going on was more of a stifle soft tissue injury or aggravation. We did a Bute trial with zero success, and he went from dropping his hip to outright lameness all while only doing walk work. 

November

Getting nowhere with Bute, rest, and/or walking, I finally called the vet out for a lameness consult. She x-rayed, saw nothing, and made an appointment to come back out to ultrasound. Nothing there either even though he had now gotten even more lame, and all she could offer was more Bute and stall rest. He predictably lost his shit on the few days of stall rest we did do, and I quickly nixed that plan. Trying to get better ideas from her ended up futile as she basically fired me as a client and straight out told me to find a new vet. Thanks. What ended up working was multiple PEMF treatments in a week with weekly follow ups and a little Bute here and there as he came back into light work. The suspected culprit? A pulled groin--nothing the vet ever mentioned.

December

My plan was to walk for the month of December, but Opie's broken brain had other ideas, and ultimately it worked out for the best. With his weekly PEMF treatments and easing into real work, he's remained completely sound and is basically back in full work. He feels a little weak every now and then, and I definitely want to keep his pulse therapy going, but amazingly I'm finishing out the year with a sound and sane horse that should still be on track for Third next year. Provided we can get that R-L change this time around. 

Best Laid Plans

 I had every intention of walking Opie for the month of December.

That did not last.

I was hoping that being under saddle--even if it just was at the walk--would be enough to make Opie feel like he had a job again, and therefore put him mentally back in his normal routine where he didn't lose his shit in his stall. 

That did not work.

So I went ahead and added the trot back in. He feels totally sound albeit a little weak and wiggly from two months of doing nothing. 

"Rehab" will now consist of...rolling with whatever each ride brings. He's getting once a week PEMF sessions, and obviously I'm not dumping him right into full work, both of which will hopefully keep that leg/groin/area in general from getting sore again. The tricky thing will be not doing too much while still doing enough so that he feels fulfilled in his tiny brain. 

The overall picture here is, of course, that the vet is the worst and I'm pissed I'm in this frustrating situation at all.

Also that my horse is a nutter and if he could stop being that, that would be great.

No vets needed

 Hot damn, has this been the month full of shelling out ALL THE MONEY to the care of my animals. 

The majority of that being wasted on Opie's vet work. Just ask his vet, she'll tell you.

HAHAHAHAOMGWTFWHY.

Now I'm waiting until the afternoon to call my small animal vet back to get the black dog in for liquid diarrhea. Because that's the perfect endcap to this month/year. 

In good news though, after his third PEMF treatment--last Monday, Wednesday, and Friday--Opie is completely sound. He's off the Bute, off the Ace, and on his regular turnout schedule. I didn't get any calls about him losing his shit in his stall at night, and no more torn up mats or uneaten hay in the morning. 

At the end of his first PEMF session, he was giving some big releases the further up the inside of the LH she went. At the end of the second session, he was distracted and a little wound up, but he did some releases in the same spot again and then practically fell asleep when she moved high up on his hamstring. Same during the third session.

Allison--his pulse master who's trained to used the machine and whom I trust as a horsewoman but certainly isn't a vet--right away wasn't convinced it was stifle. By the second session, she felt confident it was more his groin area, probably running back out and along down his hamstring. This would show up as being in the stifle area obviously while explaining why nothing came up on imaging. I posited the "got stuck while rolling and leveraged himself off his anti-cast boards to right himself" theory to her and before I could finish she was nodding adamantly. That would explain a pulled groin muscle for sure.

All this means we're back under saddle! I'm going to stick to walking him for all of December, slowly re-introducing some low key lateral and pole work towards the end of the month and hopefully just blast into getting fit again rehab from there. 

His first day tack walking--the morning before his last treatment--I just let him plod around at whatever pace he felt comfortable at. He was pretty slow to start, but on his own he started stretching and marching right at the end. I've been on him twice more since then and he starts off with his big walk now, even wanting to step into the trot (Absolutely not, son, we're not going backwards again.). 

I'm mad at myself for spending all that money on the vet when they gave me absolutely nothing for it, but then I'm also mad at the vet for letting me spend all that money when she knew she wasn't equipped to figure out the problem. And I'm kind of mad at my fluffy black trash goblin for putting who knows what into her mouth and not letting me sleep for two nights in a row for her upset tummy. If nothing else, the dog's appointment can't be any more expensive than the horse's, right? 

RIGHT?!?!?!?!

Five Days

Five days. That's how long it took to break my horse's brain on stall rest I didn't want to put him on anyway. 

AND THEN THINGS JUST KEPT GETTING BETTER.

The vet was out last Tuesday and basically all she could send me off with--$850 later--was, "Put him on stall rest (...until when we will never know) and I'll see about getting you some sleepy drugs, give him two grams Bute for a week, and I'll talk to the other doctors and get back to you by the end of the week."

Sleepy drugs never came. Friday rolled around and when I called to pay my bill (because one of us was showing professional courtesy), I asked them to leave a message for Vet to call me to discuss where she wanted to go next. 

Unsurprisingly she never called back. Still no word on sleepy drugs. 

I was taking Opie out for an hour every day for grazing, low key strolling around the parking lot, and a good roll in the ring before putting him back in his stall. He seemed to be handling it well until Saturday when I took him out around noon. The 800 year old Haffie had been naughty for his previous up-down lesson so one of the girls brought him out to the outdoor to trot him around a bit in-hand. The only problem with that was I was grazing Opie next to the outdoor and said Haffie started thundering around.

Opie was like, "GREAT IDEA!" and started rearing because that's his fave. I got after him immediately, but the thundering hoofbeats got louder as Opie started striking out at my face at which point I really got after him. I finally got him back on the ground and started flying him back into the barn just in time for Mr Haffie to go cantering by us with no person attached. 

I half man-handled, half floated a levitating Opie into a stall and locked him in there until the outside was free of ponies again. He was better the second time around, but I did go grab his chain from my trailer for future use.

Then Saturday evening rolls around and at seven my BM calls me. She and A were just getting ready to leave and turning out the lights when they heard crashing and found Opie having a complete meltdown in his stall over nothing. I gave her permission to give him injectable Ace and headed out there.

Opie doesn't process sedatives for shit, and when I got there he was weaving a hole in the floor with his eyes bugging out of his head as BM and A stood at his door trying to force feed him snacks in an effort to keep him from maiming himself. 

He settled enough to pick at the loose hay in front of him once I took up position, but he definitely wasn't relaxed. When BM and A left, I shut off the aisle lights and hung out for fifteen minutes to see if the Ace would take any effect. 

Yeah, no.

I ended up bringing BFF Mo into the indoor and then leading Opie around with the chain until I felt certain Opie wasn't going to lose his shit with his bestie at hand. I released him and hung out with Mo in a corner for a few minutes to let Opie wander around and make sure he wasn't going to try to start a stampede. He seemed happy to just hang out with company so I let Mo go and sat in the ring for an hour while they rolled and played bitey face with each other.

No dramatics, no running, they were happy to just be back together. 

I finally put them back in their houses, turned out all the lights, and hung out for another ten minutes to make sure he wasn't going to have a relapse, but all was quiet when I left. 

The next morning I got there first thing and repeated the process, eventually bringing in other BFF Easy. Again, no running or wild rumpus time, so I chucked them outside with extra hay. 

I figured that would be the last of it. He'd go back on turnout, he'd be chill again, and no more stall rest drama. 

Yeah, no.

I got there Monday morning to feed and he's dug up his stall mats and made a fucking sink hole at his door from weaving. Half his hay net was still filled from not being quiet enough to eat. 

He was quiet and happy to go outside, but the second the vet opened I was on the phone to demand some drugs as clearly his brain broke and now he associates his house with Satan. While on the phone with this office, I asked her WTF with Vet not getting back to me, and she wrote a polite but strongly worded email to Vet on her day off to call me the fuck back. 

Meanwhile she wanted me to just give her my credit card number because they were out of the expired reserpine and had to special order it. I made her look up the price before I did that. $176 for sixty days. 

Yeah, no.

She was able to find thirty days for $60 so I went ahead and placed the order for that which wasn't ideal as I would then have to wait for the drugs to come in and meanwhile my horse thinks his house is haunted. 

After I got off the phone with her, Vet calls. 

"I don't think we should do injections because we don't see anything, but I'm not sure on that. There's nothing on the images showing anything that would cause his level of lameness. I think at this point you should get a new vet. We all have our specialties and lameness is not one of mine. I would get an appoint with Vet A who I've been consulting with to come out and look at him herself, but do it now because she books fast and won't be available for most of December."

All of this was said in the tone of, "I'm done working on this case. Stop bothering me with it."

EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS WORTH OF LAMENESS WORK UPS DONE AND SHE TELLS ME TO GET ANOTHER VET BECAUSE SHE'S NOT QUALIFIED.

MAYBE TELL ME THAT EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS EARLIER.

Obviously I did NOT schedule an appointment because I was straight up losing my shit. 

Then driving me home the inventory manager calls me. She can't get the thirty days of reserpine, ever. Sorry, bye. At which point I was like, "WHOAWHOAWHOA FIND ME SOME FUCKING DRUGS."

We decided to give Ace tabs a try so an hour later I was down at the office to grab a bottle. Of course she'd failed to give me a price, but when the office lady told me $96 I was basically like, "Just give it to me, it's the last money you'll be getting from me, BYE."

He got two tabs with dinner and his stall looked alright this morning, and his hay net was empty for the first time in days so hopefully that's a good sign. He was weaving more than usual waiting to go out, but he walked out politely and went right to eating once free. 

I'm going to keep giving him the Ace at night for the rest of the week in hopes that resets his brain about being in--with the rest of the barn--at night. 

Meanwhile I'm weaning him off the Bute. He did look mostly sound for the two seconds I had him on the longe on Monday. A friend came out yesterday to do targeted PEMF on that leg, concentrating mostly on the stifle area. She'll be back out again tomorrow, and we'll go from there to see how often she wants to do it. 

At this point we're going to go with that: PEMF, time off, and he'll get Bute if he looks super lame. Whether it's soft tissue or a pulled muscle, I doubt a vet would say to do anything different. 

Hopefully this fucking saga resolves soon because my mental fortitude is basically broken at this point. 

All the vet work

 Yesterday was vet appointment number two and, because this is my horse, we still don't have an answer to Opie's persistent and now getting worse lameness. 

Two weeks ago the vet came out for the first time for a full lameness workup. I gave her the rundown of the issue from the start:

• The LH has always been the weak/problem leg, but he's never been actually lame on it. 
• It's been managed successfully with chiro when he starts to get crooked and/or stuck in the lateral work. His last appointment was due to the drama in the R-L change.
• Immediately after the appointment he went lame in that leg with a hip drop that developed into a consistent lameness.
• All signs are showing a big arrow pointed at the stifle.

She manipulated him in the aisle quickly and he was very reactive to the left stifle only. She didn't notice any fluid or swelling in either leg.

We moved on to flexions in the ring, and again the only thing that flexed positive was the stifle.

All signs still screaming stifle, we x-rayed that area. I honestly wasn't expecting there to be anything glaring there as it seemed more pulled muscle or soft tissue to me, and indeed there wasn't. There were a couple of spots on the joint heads that weren't quite as beautiful and perfect as they could be, but for a horse that raced a ton at a very young age and is already schooling Third with all the collection that entails, there wasn't anything to get excited over. 

She thought she saw one pocket where maaaaybe there could have been more opacity that maaaybe indicated a soft tissue disruption, but she couldn't tell from the x-rays. She took them back to the office and did a consult with Cornell's sport horse specialist as well as reviewing them with the other vets in the office, but no one else saw anything that would be causing this lameness either. 

So from there was on to visit number two with the ultrasound a week and a half later. 

We discussed the possibility of it being the proximal suspensory as that can show up as stifle lameness, so we planned a block and possible ultrasound of that area, too.

In the meantime, I stuck Opie on the longe once last week just to take a peek and see how he was doing. He. Looked. AWFUL. He was more lame than he'd been the entire time. I told the vet that when she got there so I put him back on the longe quick for her and the intern she had with her, and she immediately agreed. He'd gone from 3/5 lame to 5/5 lame doing nothing but hanging out in his paddock six hours a day. 

The intern requested seeing him jog with the stifle flexions only quick so she could get a baseline. We did those, he was obviously lame AF from them, and we moved on to blocking the proximal suspensory first to rule it out. 

The block did nothing to alleviate the lameness and after about half a lap of trot the intern was out the door to grab the ultrasound and the vet was like, "Yep, we've seen enough of that."

They spent forever on the ultrasound. They both made sure every inch of the stifle got looked at and found....nothing. 

There was one tiny spot where it should have been solid black for the joint spacing that had a tiny ridge of "schmutz" as the vet called it, but nothing that would explain why he's so lame. So, again, back to the office for consults to see if anyone else can find something or come up with some ideas.

The intern wanted ultrasound practice so they also did the proximal suspensory for free, but that was perfectly clean. 

We discussed injecting, but since there wasn't anything obvious to inject for, she cautioned waiting on that until talking with the other vets because sticking needles in joints for funsies is not advised. Instead we're going to do another week of bute, but instead of tapering throughout the week we're going to do a week solid of two grams before tapering. 

He's also hanging out on stall rest which is not ideal as he's so neurotic about his friends. She said he could have some solo supervised turnout in the indoor which he wasn't too impressed with this morning, but at least he gets to leave his house for awhile. She also said she'd look into getting some free reserpine for him to take the edge off his neurosis. He wouldn't even touch his hay this morning until I went and captured the free roaming million year old Haffie and stuck him in the stall next to Opie to babysit. 

That's where we're at now. I'm waiting for a call back to see what the next plan of action is--injections, a million years of stall rest, trying to get different images...who knows. 

I will say that my limit for stall rest is one month. If it's going to be more than that it's just not going to happen. I'd rather have him heal slower and be mentally sound that completely break his brain. 

If nothing else, hopefully in a week after being on lockdown and stuffed full of NSAIDs he'll show some improvement because really he can't get much worse. RIGHT?!?!

Still walking. Still lame.

We're three weeks to the day since the chiro appointment that knocked Opie seriously out of whack--whether it was from something the chiro did or just something the chiro aggravated that Opie did to himself. 

He's maybe better than he was, but he's certainly not in any good shape either. 

He doesn't do the falling out/down thing with the LH almost ever anymore--maybe once in three rides--but it's turned into a consistently visible lameness at anything faster than a walk. BM wanted me to try cantering him before moving on to trotting, and while that didn't make sense to me, I asked for it for the first time yesterday and he physically could not do it. I even tried to just urge him forward into any canter at all, forget a dressage canter, and I pulled him up after less than half the arena. 

He can trot, but since the trot is where you evaluate for lameness it's obvious he's not comfortable in that gait either. I've trotted him one lap each direction twice now, and he was worse this morning than he was yesterday. A barn mate was riding with me and stopped to watch. He was almost head bobbing every now and then and she said it looked like he was stepping short with the RF to compensate for the LH. He was better to the right than the left, but off both ways. 

So is the not falling out thing an actual improvement, or has it just morphed into always lame instead of lame for those steps his hip was dropping? With only walking I don't know if he's been this type of lame for these past two weeks or if this has developed within the past few days.

I'm giving him the rest of the week off from riding because I mentally cannot. Plus his expensive AF ice wraps are useless AF. Unless he magically makes a giant leap forward in soundness, this is going to become a vet visit as soon as I have the money for it. 

Fuck you, 2020.

Ride Notes: The Stifle. Probably.

Well, more like Walk Notes than Ride Notes, but here we are.

"y u no bring me in for the riding?"

To recap the time line:

• Last Tuesday Opie got adjusted by the chiro. He saw/felt there was a stifle issue. We decided to do a week of descending Bute dosage, starting at two grams and going down half a gram every two days. 
• The next time I rode him was on the weekend. I rode him lightly both days. He continuously fell out from the left stifle.
• I didn't ride Monday. On Tuesday morning BM came out to assess wtf was going on while I was in the saddle.

always with the head tilt

While waiting for BM to arrive--no more than ten minutes--I got on Opie and started walking around and doing some walk-halt transitions. He didn't want to halt square by putting full weight on the LH. I could get him to do it if I shifted him around enough, but he wasn't willing to do it on his own. He was still falling out in that leg probably once every other lap.

When BM got there she was able to clearly see it from the ground as well. We talked through what I was feeling, what she was seeing, and the progression of how this played out. 

• She noted that his muscling was very even so it probably wasn't something he had been dealing with for awhile and was compensating for. 
• The likely guess that made the most sense to both of us was that he was either being a fool in the field with his friends and slipped (not even remotely out of the ordinary), or he was rolling in his stall and torqued it while getting up...possibly using his anti-casting boards and banked shavings to unstick himself. 
• The chiro then exacerbated the issue--obviously not intentionally--and now he's feeling the effects from that.

We talked about what a vet could do since the stifle is a tricky area to image, and agreed it probably wasn't going to make a difference to wait it out for a bit. I'm going to do a few weeks of walk only. He finishes his Bute this weekend, and I'll switch him over to Bute-less because even though I just started him on Outlast I don't want to kill his stomach any more than I have to. I also have Ice Horse stifle icing suspenders on the way because icing never hurt anything. 

If, after a month of that routine, he's still not in a good way, obviously the vet will be out. But the good news was with the continued Bute and time off when I got on him Thursday to walk him, he only fell out once as I turned him across the diagonal. 

riding or not, always gets the butt scratches

In the meantime, BM passed off Mo onto me which I know is mostly because she wants his crazy ass back in work so he's sane when she has the time to start riding again. Whatevs, he was a good boy for me this morning and at least it's more exciting than walking.

lucked out and was getting off right when the attack
chihuahua appeared

Opie also got his feet done this morning, so I've spent ALL THE MONEY I HAVE on him. Please do good things with it, sir.

got to hang out with farrier's puppy so no real loss

Chiro Appointment Notes

Opie's chiro appointment did not go at all as expected. The LH is always the problem leg, and I figured he'd also need a couple of adjustments in his back and poll as those are pretty standard Riding Horse areas of abuse. I was right on the latter two accounts--although Chiro said his back wasn't in too bad of shape at all, just a couple of the normal spots that needed quick fixes. 

Then we get to the LH. Usually the consensus is that his hips have gotten knocked out of alignment somehow someway and the left hip ends up higher. Also the case this time, but after a whole lot of pushing and shoving and lifting and pulling, Chiro had me walk him down and back and declared that he didn't think there was much he could do from his end. He thought we were looking more at a stifle issue. He dug around both stifles but didn't find uneven swelling or soreness.

We decided to do a week of descending bute treatment: two days of 2gs, two days of 1.5, to 1 to half. The theory we were playing with was maybe there's some stifle and/or SI muscle and/or soft tissue "injury" (more irritation/aggression of the muscle fibers is what we were thinking), and to see if the bute helped with that at all. I kicked that off on Saturday which is also when I rode for the first time after he got adjusted.

Ok, wow. 

He was a fucking mess. He still is a fucking mess.

All the sudden his left stifle keeps slipping which makes him trip all over himself. Something he most decidedly was not doing before he got worked on. 

I rode him both days this weekend, simple w/t/c rides on long straight lines with a couple of circles and shallow leg yields thrown in to see how they felt. As stated: not great.

I have a lesson with BM scheduled for tomorrow so I'll see what her opinion is because quite frankly I'm a bit flummoxed at this point. Bobby had horrible stifles, but it wasn't sudden onset oh shit they're falling off your body sort of thing. They were locking stifles coming off the track that upgraded to a weakness that I just always worked on strengthening. 

I had planned on having the vet do a full physical work up this spring before showing started to address any issues--thinking hocks were probably going to have to be injected or some such thing--but maybe I'll have to move that up. Budget allowing of course because he also needs his teeth checked again next month, his insanely expensive teeth supplement runs out shortly after that if the dentist thinks it did him any good, and also my truck is dead for real. Plus I'd like to take lessons, he needs his feet done on a five to six week schedule, he eats two expensive add-ons aside from his magnificent mushrooms, yada yada. 

Owning horses is great.

Juuust kidding

 After two good rides in a row, on Friday we went back to the shit show of Ask More, Get Less. 

A lot of it was my fault for going in without a clear game plan for the ride which left our warm up disjointed and relatively useless. Always a good way to start things. Things just never really got flowing, although we were able to accomplish some really good walk-canter-walk transitions x1000. However, I started to take those across the diagonal ala the simple change in 2-3 and Opie instantly went into flying change rage monster--you know, without the actual change.

I ended the ride once we were able to accomplish the simple change across the diagonal, but I got us there after working through violent rearing by breaking everything down to the walk and building back up. At this point that feels excessive. 

Saturday afternoon I begrudgingly climbed back on with no goal besides No Drama. Fortunately that was accomplished. 

He wasn't too interested in big stretching, but I got him going around in a Training/First frame while keeping the thrusters going. More w/c/w transitions, some canters down the center line through a fun pole chute A had set up earlier, and then we finished popping over an 18" vertical--which was done with much panache. 

leaving on sunday after confo pics. dopie says,
don't go need more snacks first.

The chiro comes out tomorrow, and I'm on BM's wait list for lessons so hopefully those will get kicked off soon. My truck is in a bad way right now so hauling out for lessons is looking extremely doubtful at the moment. 

Back on the same page

 For the moment at least.

all about soft foamy mouth pics right now

Yesterday I managed to sneak in a ride before the contractors were supposed to show up--and then they didn't for the second day in a row. Well done, guys. This construction work is going to be done in no time!

I couldn't resist the allure of my squishy, pretty double anymore and was still riding the good feel vibes from Sunday. I played around a little with the fit of the curb bit again because it looks weird from the outside, but when I opened his lips and wiggled things around inside it looked right how I wanted it. No complaints from Dopie once we started going.

We started with ten million walk-halt transitions with a quick discussion at the beginning about how we do not halt by throwing all our weight down. Good from there, and then into the trot where I spent a few laps letting him coast while I focused on my equitation...which actually is starting to feel like something I can control finally! #whatareabs

I moved into the sitting trot fairly quickly once we started doing trot-walk transitions, and his back stayed soft and round. 

A little SI, some HI, 10m circles, and finish with a medium trot across each diagonal. On the second/last one I actually giggled out loud because it was perfect. So balanced and rhythmic and I could tell he just got it.

FINALLYYYYYYYY.

Not sure I'm ever going to quit riding the high of a real medium on this horse. I feel like it's our biggest win ever. Maybe one day the changes will make that transformation LOLPLZGOD.

We finished there because he was on point for the whole ride and I didn't want anything to spiral out of control.

Nobody Panic

OK, good news, my horse isn't permanently an anxious rage monster that's resistant to life and everything being asked of him under saddle. 

I mean, we've had one whole ride where things were super casual and relaxed so I guess you could say he's totes fixed. 

soft, happy, foamy lips

Normally I wouldn't ride the day after a show, but the way things were set up over the past week and the tense shit show I was sitting on while "huntering", it felt like it needed to happen. And I'm so glad I got on again. I pulled out our dressage tack, spent fifty hours grooming beforehand, and headed to the outdoor for a bare bones flat ride. 

He's really come a long way in the steadiness in the connection--when he's relaxed. This ride reiterated how much his tension comes out in his mouth and the bobbing up and down off the contact. When he's relaxed, he's metronome. I'm not sure where to go with that because I can't just w/t/c without asking one single other thing for the rest of his life. The work gets harder, the questions get more complex, he's got to work with me a little bit on the not building and building until we're throwing Bobby tantrums around. 

bobby level posing

We did accomplish some counter canter serpentines both directions that didn't involve ridiculous theatrics for the first time in eternity. We finished on those after about a twenty minute ride.

I decided to bite the bullet and do a month of lessons with BM--one a week. I want her to work both of us hard on the basics. More push, more connection, more forward and suppleness in the lateral work. I'll also have the chiro out as soon as he's available.

I have the funds set aside for those two things, and then I'm maybe going to reach out to a local-ish dressage pro about bi-weekly lessons. I have to work myself up to that. And hope that she's not too expensive. And that she's still down with trailer-ins. 

The barn is under construction all week so no riding unless I go back in the evening. We'll see what my motivation level is.

In-barn Hunter Show

 A repeat from last year's in-barn hunter show, and while we did quite a bit of jumping the month leading up to this year's edition, I also got on my horse for the first time in a week the morning of. I had actually planned on him having a couple more days off on top of that, but at the last minute we went out on the barn's hunter pace with Easy. 

Fortunately that was (as planned) very low key. We only jumped a couple things and never picked up the canter. Opie and I were both pretty blah about the whole thing, and I was more than ready to leave everything in NY behind for our vacation. 

I got to the barn Saturday morning and my horse was standing at the back of his stall weaving instead of eating his hay because the barn was bustling and his routine was changed and his life was ruined. I washed his tail, scrubbed his fresh poop spots, and we headed over to the barn on horseback with H and Puck (The barn is directly behind ours, separated only by a couple of fields.). He spent the entire walk over snorting like a dragon, and then wanted to challenge the other barn's horses that were turned out to a duel, but we made it over without issue. 

He was super strong on the flat warming up, but I just kept him trotting and coming round while controlling the rhythm if not the pace until he settled. Our first few jumps were a certified shit show. At one point he biffed the distance so badly that he tripped on landing, hit the ground face first, and then launched up and bolted with his head in the air as a wad of chewed grass went flying by my head.

H told me it looked like he kept putting in canter strides over the jumps instead of jumping them, but he did eventually settle in and we jumped down the lines straight (did not happen on our first attempt), and were able to come off the long approach to the diagonal singles.

always a good time when our back legs don't work

I quit once I felt like we were in a good spot, and we hung out for about twenty minutes while everyone else finished warming up before going in for the hack division--three flat classes.

I felt like Opie was pretty solid for the first hunter flat, but we placed 4th out of 5. For the next flat, an equitation class which is hands down my absolute weakest point as a rider, Opie spent the whole ride gnashing his teeth and occasionally cranking his head sideways. He did enjoy the "extended" trot portion though. We won that class.

"lengthen stride, yes, thank god i know this one!"
--opie, probably

We finished the hack division with a hunter pleasure flat where Opie felt very chill and responsive and we once again came in second to last--fifth out of six. 

We had to wait around awhile for our turn to jump in the 2'3 division that was actually most definitely only 2'. Opie snoozed for most of that wait and was not at all pleased to be woken back up and asked to go to work. The first round was hunter and it was awful. 

We went from zero to Rage Monster in 2.5, took a rail in one of the lines from trying to do the aforementioned canter over the jumps instead of jumping them, and were just generally going about ten thousand miles too fast. We got a fourth out of 10 for that class.

The next jumping round was an equitation course. It went even worse than the first! Actually the first jump was very good and as we approached and jumped it, I was like, "Phew! Here's my quiet jumping horse I have at home." 

#fakenews

I asked for the simple change to get the left lead after landing from the first jump and it took me the whole length of the diagonal to get him yanked back long enough to switch it over. We came into the first line next and he supermanned that ho:

Launched the jump out:

Got in kind of tight to the next jump, and then refused to be rated enough to change leads let alone slow down even remotely:

At which point we were supposed to jump the first jump in the line, roll back to the other first jump in the other line, and then finish by going down the line. None of which I remembered as I attempted to get this runaway train back on the tracks, and ended up just continuing down the line.

gotta work those courtesy circles

We finished with an equitation flat at which point we were both very much done with each other. I don't even remember specifics. It went fine, we placed 8 out of 10. 

Overall the judging was straight up fucking stupid. I say that not just for myself but for everyone there. None of the placings made sense in any of the classes. 

Another take away is that I need to find a new jumping bit for Opie for off property. The slow twist he's currently in just lets him sit there and lay on it without actually giving me any brakes. Same for the jumper derby earlier in the year. He's just not the same horse to jump at home as he is at shows. 

Discipline Switch

 I brought my brand new double home so it wouldn't get dusty or moldy sitting in the barn unused, and every time I walk past it (It's hanging on the back of a kitchen chair because where else do you store extra tack?), I'm like, "Wow U R SO PRETTY." 

Maybe give it a little pet.

And then forget about it again because this is the month of the jump tack.

The outdoor has had a tiny one stride to one stride grid set along with a single X on the diagonal that we've been taking advantage of most days that I ride--which is not a lot in the interest of not overexerting Opie's ass or my back again. But the jumps are very small and it's been a really good way for him to just lope around staying soft and in rhythm while I work on staying in half/light seat to the jump...and also staying STRAIGHT with my upper body while jumping. 

If there's one thing I love, it's twisting my upper body over a jump to face the direction we'll be turning when we land. Does that actually accomplish anything besides making me look a fool? Negative. And yet still a surprisingly hard habit to break.

He's been great through the teensy grid if incredibly lazy and disinclined to put forth any real effort because they jumps are too small to be worth his effort:

Yesterday we moved to the indoor so I could make use of the mirror to hold myself more accountable in my body position while flatting. Do my hands need to be so wide? Do I need to be posting so high? Will my shoulders ever come back? All the mysteries of switching to a jump saddle that may never be solved tbh. 

I also had a 2' vertical set up a E to finish over once I got done punishing myself by trying to ride like I sort of knew what I was doing. #theworst

Long approaches in half seat and Opie never missed. It was honestly too easy because the jump was so small he was basically just putting in a big canter stride over it and carrying on. Not like that's a bad thing tho! No pulling, no racing, just metronome up and over while I chilled with my ass out of the saddle and worked on doing nothing but being straight.

can't be bothered to put in effort over such boring jumpies

We finished by angling it from off the rail both ways to see if we could land the new lead, and if he didn't then do a flying change before the turn. Yep, flying changes both ways. I know they're in there. I just need to figure out how to bring them over to dressage land.

He had today off in preparation to going to the park with BM and Farrier tomorrow. I'm hoping this goes more smoothly than the last trail ride...

Just a little bit better

 As per my last post, we did finish out the week on Wednesday with a trail ride down the road.

It was not low key.

It was fucking awful.

I was ready to push both Opie and BM off a cliff within about two minutes. I'm not sure who pissed me off more: BM with her constant inane chattering and complete lack of ability to read the fucking room (AKA I am in extreme pain, my horse is being a giant asshole, but don't worry--I am so glad you're having such a great time!), or Opie who was in a halter and yet still gaping his mouth, grinding his teeth, and/or whipping his tongue around in the midst of flinging himself sideways while fake spooking.

new bridle finally came! 

I had to go back to the barn Thursday when the barn girl bringing him in texted me to let me know that he was tight in the LH. Yeah. I bet he fucking was. I rubbed him down with liniment and set out Bute for him for the rest of the week. He was on that for six days with five days off. 

I spent my time sitting standing or laying flat on my back as sitting killed my back. I also stewed over BM and her "help" with the changes. Fortunately I think she finally took the hint last Tuesday to walk away when I was working on them when she was like, "Just take him over a pole!" and I may or may not have very snidely yelled back, "I AM NOT EVER TAKING HIM OVER A POLE."

I finally got back on this morning in my new (to me) jump saddle. Fifteen minutes of w/t/c was all either of us needed/were capable of. 

(And then BM texted asking if I wanted to go galloping around Mendon tomorrow morning. With her and her horse who has been ridden two whole times since the middle of July. After she knew how awful Opie was all last week. And knowing that my back was fucked up. Like, no. Sorry I won't do that to my horse, and sorry when I say I'm in pain I actually am, and not that I'm just trying to one-up everyone.)

finally his own jumpies saddle!

I scratched from the barn's hunter pace this weekend because neither one of us is physically up to it, but two weekends from then is the barn's hunter show. I've made that my goal--the hack division. It's good for me because I'm the type of person that has to have something to work on/towards. This will mentally force me to ride him in a longer frame while still making sure he's pushing for big gaits but a heavy emphasis on relaxation and looseness. 

He was actually really great today. I had to get him loosened up bending left right off the bat, but it felt more like, "I don't trust this" than not able to do it. He finished supple that direction, and his canter both ways was to die for. 

So while I felt very broken all last week and weekend--my back and my brain--a new, easy goal to work on and a vacation to Maine on the near-horizon has me patched back together for the moment. Fingers crossed nothing ruins that. 

GVRDC XC Schooling

This schooling was the definition of last minute. It ran from 10-2. Hubby and I spent the morning tidying up the last few things from our cancelled Utah trip (#sobbing), and I decided that if we managed to get that wrapped up by 10:15 I would go. It ended up being more like 10:30, but the appeal of doing something by myself got us out the door anyway. 

I threw a borrowed jump saddle in the trailer with water and a loaded hay bag, grabbed Opie out of the field, and off we went. 

Pretty much everyone was already back at the trailers getting ready to leave or heading off the course when we got there, but I was fine with that. Opie kept an eye on any horse he saw, but he never made a peep or got distracted from the jumping by them. 

He was pretty lit though, so I went ahead and sent him into a big hand gallop and let him do a couple of giant laps to get that out of his system. He was with it from there on out. I, on the other hand, was obviously very out of practice with the whole jumping package--I didn't trust that Opie was going to go over anything even as he was dragging me to fences, and just generally felt loosey goosey in the tack. Jumping more than once a month usually helps with that...

After jumping the Intro log for the first jump, we came around to the BN first fence which had a little line of mulch with some yellow flowers poked in front. I was sure Opie would take offense to them and stop, so of course the correct course of action there was to pull him to a stop in front of it instead of just letting him jump it. He stood there very confused for a second before obligingly giving the fill a quick snoot and jumping it with zero issue two times in a row. 

Moving on, we did the second Intro and then I was "brave" and jumped the BN bench as well even though I have a deep seated dislike of them. 

me: ohgodohgodohgod

opie: wheeeeeee!

We did the next two Intro jumps (a cabin and a log stack) and skipped the third BN jump which was a table-like thing covered in straw with a log on top. Opie probably would have jumped it because he was game for whatever, but I wasn't mentally ready for it. We did do the next two BN jumps though.

intro cabin

bn table

bn house

He did stop at the above house the first time--his only refusal of the entire day. The sun was blasting off its light grey top and I think it just took him a bit by surprise. He came right back around and jumped it twice without issue. 

We took a quick break to play in the water:

watching a horse disappear over the horizon but who cares because water

opie says this is why i'm here

We did a couple more BN fences:

he is the gamest horse with the cutest form.
i should really get on his level.

And then we moved on to the bank complex which was one of two things I wanted to work on--the other being ditches. He started off wiggly and uncertain about the tiny step down, but after one successful drop off, his confidence rocketed right up every time after until he was picking up the trot on his own as soon as I pointed him in that direction.

"ohgodohgodohgod"

"actually that wasn't so bad"

"bish i got this"

no drama

the actual most handsome

I decided to wrap that up with going up the Novice bank on the other side and cantering off the tiny drop we'd been doing. (I actually didn't even see the flagged BN up or I would have worked on dropping off that, too. Oh well.) It was hands down the most giant up bank Opie has ever seen in his life, but bless his Dopie heart he launched us up it no questions asked and went right off the other side.

Ditches were next. He could have cared less about the BN ditch and cantered over it without blinking multiple times.

That was such an unevent that I brought him around to the Novice ditch which was the same width but significantly deeper. He was like, "Yeah, yeah, it's just as ditch." until he went to jump it and saw the gaping chasm beneath him and launched it. But still went without question because A Very Good Boy.

"I AM CLEARING THE DEATH CAVE"

I was disgustingly overheated by this point and feeling a bit queasy from it. Fortunately we'd jumped the vast majority of the BN course by this point and were at the very end of it. We went through the hedgerow, did the last two jumps on the Intro course:

And then finished with jumping the last jump on the BN course twice (because the first time we got in too close and I wanted to finish on a good note).

So BN is definitely well within Dopie's wheelhouse even with both of us having way too much time off and me riding like a worried monkey the entire time. Not that that matters since I won't be paying the obscene fees related to USEA events around here when I want to have a full dressage show season. And that whole stadium thing being literally the worst on the planet.

As we were heading back to the trailer, a woman I know was the last to arrive and didn't have a partner or groundsperson so asked if I would go around the Intro course with her quick. I agreed, but on the condition I could grab a gatorade first. I snagged one of those, ditched my vest, and Opie and I trotted the short loop around with her, chugging cold liquid with one hand and neck reining on the buckle with the other. 

Did I mention he's A Very Good Boy?