Tuesday, March 31, 2015

TOABH: Introspection

I've missed a few of Beka's blog hops, but I'm back on it for this one!


Introspection
What would your horse change about you?

Bobby basically functions with the thought process that he is always right.

Always.

when a bobby says it's time to leave, it's time to leave.

Therefore, I think if he could change one thing about me, it would be that I got on the bandwagon and just let him do his thing. His daily routine would be adjusted so it resembled something like this:

Come in from turnout, eat breakfast, pee, lay down for a snugly nap in said pee.

always time for napping.

Wake up from nap, eat hay if it's up to your high standards, demand different hay if it's not. If BM refuses to give you brand new hay, drag old hay into middle of stall, pee on it, and take another nap.

Cookie Lady is here. Demand cookies. All of them. No, you need more. Lick favorite mare's blankets while getting tacked up. 

Go for trail ride that involves lots of running for warm up. Come back to barn and jump some cross country jumps. 

If the ground isn't good cross country jumping ground, jump around in the outdoor. Jumps must be at least 3'. They're too boring otherwise, and you'll have to put extra effort into racing over them instead of actually jumping them. 

ignore cookie lady when she makes these stupid faces at you.
it's time to do the jumping.

Go for another trail ride with another gallop when you're done jumping. Pause for lots of snack breaks without getting yelled at for eating on a trail ride. Cookie Lady is going to clean your bit anyway. What's a little extra slobber?

No post ride grooming. Bobbys do not like the brushing. Baths are okay though. Make sure to demand extra cookies after the ride. Refuse to drink any water until you've gotten at least one. 

Make horrible mean faces about getting your blanket put on. Have Cookie Lady leave it off.

If BM has not replaced the hay you've deemed unacceptable, tell Cookie Lady all about it. That bitch is a sucker. She'll switch it out for you. Eat said hay until dinner time. If it was an early morning ride, probably take another nap.

Eat dinner, get turned out with best friends, boss best friends around because they're amazingly even bigger losers than you, and you somehow found yourself the coolest horse in the herd.

Take best friends up to graze and/or eat hay that's been put out.

Repeat.

6 comments:

  1. Hahaha I was laughing so hard at this! Bobby is such a character :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so amazing. Bobby has a rough life, indeed.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, poor Bobby. If only you would just relinquish control to him. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think I want Bobby's life. Except for sleeping in my pee. The rest sounds good.

    ReplyDelete
  5. well he certainly knows what he likes, doesn't he

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with Sarah -- Young Robert sounds like his ideal life would be pretty plush!!

    ReplyDelete

If you can't say anything nice, fuck off.