Monday, March 23, 2015

Cannot Brain

I had one of those weekends where I feel like I did a lot, but upon reflection, I might have just wasted two days of my life driving around not really accomplishing much.

I kicked things off with a bang by blowing the brakes out of my truck while displaying the most amazing ninja driving moves to avoid ramming into this fucking asshole in a minivan who decided he didn't need to listen to stop signs or me laying on my horn, and then sped away as I went flying into a hay field. But like I said--fucking ninja skills. Aside from losing my brakes, I was able to land that fucker on a strip of grass without killing anyone.

AAA towed the truck down to one of the two garages in town for me, and Hubby and I went over to the other garage where my car has been sitting for the past two weeks waiting to get its clutch replaced. The guy had originally quoted us three more weeks for the fix which made me seriously homicidal (Mechanics are a lot like farriers, amirite? Pretty fucking useless.), but after telling him my truck was down, he was all, "Well, I'll see if I can fit it in."

here, have a picture of piggy as a frog princess to break up text

The next day both my car and truck were fixed.

Of course, with speedy repair service inevitably comes more problems. I got in my truck, and to keep the wheels straight I have to hold my steering wheel cranked to the left after the garage replaced my sway bar. Yeah, guys. You will be fixing that on your own dime.

The moral of the story is: If you have a couple grand laying around that you have nothing better to do with, just let me drive your vehicle. I'll get that shit spent for you.

I did manage to get a couple rides in on my horse though.

Saturday morning I clipped all the hair off Bobby. Really, I blame this on people not knowing me well enough to tell me "Don't do that, Carly. No. Really. Don't." I asked BM if there was any trick to clipping legs, and she was all, "Nope! It's just a pain in the ass because of all the bony and knobby parts." Then I turned to Aimee for some face clipping tips, and instead of seeing warning lights when I asked her how not to gouge my horse's eyes out, she actually gave me some good tips.

I'll take that as a green light!

he actually looks quite alright from a distance with a shitty cell phone!

He might have zebra stripes down his legs because he was pretty much done with my existence by the time I got to them. I thought about touching them up the next day, but then I was like, "Meh. He has no dignity left anyway. They'll grow out."

zebra stripes!
and some lovely exposed pin firing.

I came back that afternoon once lessons were done and had a flat ride where Bobby tried to express to me what a sassy, sassy horse he is by snaking his head and striking out with his front legs as we trotted around. I was too busy overcome by giggling to take him seriously. Feeling that his efforts were not being rewarded, he quit doing that. He attempted to take off with me a few times at the canter as well, but Sassy Fresh Bobby is so silly that I can't even sometimes. I just let him do his thing and we spent most of the ride cantering.

I attempted a jump school Sunday with Sarah, but immediately had a minor meltdown over laced reins. I seriously almost cried out of frustration because I just could not brain. Sarah tried to talk me off the ledge by going over every tack change I've made for Bobby's hunter outfit, but I was just like, "I hate these reins I can't ride or do anything I hate them they've ruined my life I can't ride this is so hardddddddd!!!"

Don't you wish you had me as a friend?

I sat down and really thought about it afterwards though. I hate laced reins, yes, but they weren't making me lean forward and lose my balance (As Sarah so aptly pointed out when she yelled at me, "Stop thinking about the reins! Ride the jump!"). I got new leathers and irons with my new saddle. I hate the leathers, so I decided I was going to go back to my old HDR leathers. Since I already had my jointed stirrups on those, and the new composite irons on the Teknas, I went back to my jointed irons as well.

I still hate the laced reins, but no surprise that getting my base of support back with leathers that weren't yanking my leg around and irons I could weight my heel more heavily in kept me in a good position and I was able to jump just fine.

This morning we worked on this exercise:

I had the verticals set at 18" and the one stride distance set at 24' like the exercise says to do. If you want to replicate this exercise, don't set the distance so far apart. Bobby has a huge stride and likes to rush anyway, and he was really having to reach for the one stride with the jumps set so low. I'd go for 21' at the most instead.

Thanks to the long distance, tiny jumps, and tinier arena, we not only struggled with the technical aspect of this, but also with the "JUMPZ ARE TOO SMALL JUST CANTER THEM NO NEED TO PICK UP MY FRONT END I ALMOST DID A HEADSTAND." Nothing like a strung out horse on a long distance to make you wonder if you're going to face plant upon landing.

I changed our objective pretty quickly and practiced walking the jumps instead.

We finished with some lateral work at the sitting trot and counter canter both directions which are both hard to do with jumping length stirrups. Bobby was a star though and went around and did his thing without any fuss so that I was able to focus solely on me.

And that ends a post that probably could have been split at least in two. You're welcome.


  1. I drove a truck without brakes one time. Easily the scariest thing I've ever done. Glad you survived.

  2. My truck also likes to eat up any spare money I have by deciding its brakes need to be completely replaced, it's pretty awesome. Also - I use these reins, maybe they will help you because they are a hybrid laced/rubber rein?
    I love them.

  3. Sorry about the car troubles! I'm glad you're okay though.

  4. I can only hold plain reins. Reins with stops or laced reins melt my brain, period. Join the club!

  5. This might be the one benefit I get from hopping on and off a dozen horses a week. I can ride with uneven stirrups, in tiny saddles, in giant saddles, with fake reins, thick reins, basically no reins.... I'm not saying I can do it all that well at times, but it doesn't deter me!

  6. What a naked little jumping fool!

  7. He's going to shed all the hair off eventually anyways.... you're just helping him out!

  8. sounds like a busy couple days... and not necessarily in the best sense of the word... i was thisclose to switching back to laced reins for a recent hunter show but at the last minute couldn't be bothered and just kept my webbed reins... meh judge did not care

  9. Completely into that jumping exercise right now... Just need to get back on the pony to get going! And hey... I find that I worry too much about my reins when they're laced too... You're not alone there. For some reason I'm always worrying about them being even and having my thumbs in the notch like I did when I was a kid. Ugh. The agony!

  10. The close up of his pin-firing is SO neat.

  11. Taking care of car craziness definitely counts as a productive weekend. And what about rubber reins or reins with stops for hunter-land - are those a no-no?

  12. Sucky about your car, pig dog needs to come on the blog more :)


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