Monday, May 25, 2015


Having a significant other that works in the agriculture industry is the absolute worst during the spring season.

The. Worst.

It's torture trying to get new blog media when the only person you ever interact with is never home. Serious equestrian problems right here, guys. Really fucking serious.

for instance, i've been waiting ages to debut this shirt on the blog. it pairs perfectly
with my resting bitch face.

I was finally able to drag Hubby out to the barn Sunday morning and get some new jumping pictures. We didn't get a ton because we also really wanted to play with the slow-mo feature on my new phone, but the ones we got are pretty fucking epic.

Bobby was too sleepy to handle warming up. He had four days off and then two easy dressage rides before our jump school, so he had absolutely no reason to be such a slug. He couldn't believe I actually wanted him to canter of all things, and since I wanted a strong hand gallop to warm up with and not a canter at all, Mr Spanky (thank you, Allison, for introducing me to the best name for a crop ever) payed his bum a quick visit.

He woke up after that, and we worked on a figure eight around the arena while Hubby slow mo-ed our flying changes. I haven't edited and uploaded those off my phone yet, but if you follow me on instagram you should be seeing them sometime this week. (P.S. be my friend. I will spam you with puppy pictures.)


For our jumping exercise, I set up a simple grid because standards are in short order around this place even with dragging some out of the indoor; it was a bounce, two strides to an oxer. I left the oxer as a pile of poles while we warmed up over the bounce a few times off of each lead.

The first time through with the oxer set, Bobby's brain accidentally fell out of his head and rolled around in the sand, and I had to pull him out of the line right after the bounce because I only had one rein and we were about to die.

why, yes. my boobs were harmed in this photo shoot. yay for a bit change that got
my horse up off his forehand? or maybe stop folding quite so much...

We made it through on the second try, but I felt like he just wasn't getting a read on the bounce anymore. I don't know if he was too focused on the oxer to pay attention to the bounce or what, but there's not much room for error when jumping into a 9' space. I had Hubby drop one end on both verticals and that took care of the problem.

After jumping through a few times without issue, I had Hubby crank the oxer right up. I made him pull out the pair of 5' standards from the indoor because the best part about this grid is getting to end on one monster jump. Hubby was questioning my sanity and my horse's ability, but I was all, "Hubby. Please remember mule jumping. Mules can jump 5'+ from practically a standstill. Bobby can surely clear this. Mule pride for lyfe."

mule ears sighted in on the jump raising.
or just creeping on a horse being brought in.

We came in a little under-powered the first time and Bobby was all:

"uh, for real? this is huge!"

But then he was all:

"mule pride for lyfe! we're doing this!"

Meanwhile I was like:


He ended up just rubbing the back rail with a hind foot, but since we had pretty much loped in and the cups are super shallow, I wasn't disappointed at all. I heaped the praise on him and we came back around with a much stronger canter.

now we're cooking with mule power

Bobby coasted right over and didn't get near the rails. I gave him tons of pats between giggling at how fun this horse can be when not being a colossal asshole.

that moment when your horse might actually be a little bit more badass than another horse.
i don't experience those often.

We came through once more so that Hubby could get it on the phone in slow motion.

This is the whole line:

You can see that I was really driving him forward to eat up those two strides and have enough power to get over the jump. I promise I try to be a little more quiet with my seat most days.

And if a full minute of the slowest grid ever doesn't interest you, here's the oxer by itself:

Which is just downright gangster, I don't care who you are. Fuck yeah, technology.

what you're missing is the next second where grouchy mc lazy pants reached forward
and knocked the jump down. bobby ain't got no time for stupid posing.

We didn't pull out the tape, but since I know for a fact the purple standards are 4' and the white standards are 5', I'm calling it 4'6" on the assumption that the top hole is 4'9". I so do not miss the days when this horse refused to go over a ground pole.

In quick barn search news, I'm going to look at Barn Six this evening. They don't currently have a stall available, but the trainer said come down anyway, watch a lesson, look around, and see what I think. That alone is more than any other barn has given me, so fingers crossed it turns out to be a good situation!


  1. Holy fuck that is a HUGE fence! And that slo-mo is absolutely amazing. We need Mules 4 Lyfe T-shirts.

  2. Damn, downright gangsta indeed!!! That fence is approaching MY height. Standing. Also, send some of your excess foldage my way. I'll trade you for my inability to fold at all.

    1. Yes me too! Teach me your folding ways!

  3. Damn, downright gangsta indeed!!! That fence is approaching MY height. Standing. Also, send some of your excess foldage my way. I'll trade you for my inability to fold at all.

  4. I am calling the People for the HUmane Treatment of Boobs on you. (but seriously congratulations you rock!)

  5. I'd say "like a G6" but that's only 3'6, so ... I don't have words other than dayum!

  6. you and your horse are definitely more badass than quite a few horses AND mules out there haha! also i giggled at the 'ohholyshit' pic bc i experience that exact feeling pretty much constantly over significantly smaller fences lol

  7. Wow! Great job - that jump looks so huge it scares me o.O
    Good luck on the barn! :)

  8. Yeah yeah!!

    Bahahaha that he nocked it over while posing!! Sasssssss

  9. The fence looks even bigger in the video. You win for having the biggest balls on the internet!

  10. You are now officially full-on BAMF status. Loved the slo-mo videos!

  11. So awesome! I need to please look like you over fences!!!!

  12. You and Bobby are such badasses.

  13. Loooveee the slow mo. You two look fantastic!! #mulepower

  14. Straight up gangsta. We also have really big ears over on my blog and it totes helps with the jumping.


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