Friday, January 30, 2015

Conformation Review: Bobby Magee

Make sure you guys check out this excellent post from Breeches and Boat Shoes about basic conformation. I love the way she breaks it down and explains everything, and of course I had to immediately do the same thing to a picture of Bobby.

Sadly my horse isn't even remotely as cute as Ax--like, not even in the same galaxy as cute--but it was still fun to critique the mule beast...until I got to the head comparison, and then I closed my eyes and drew some lines really quickly.

Fuck, my horse is ugly.

So I bring to you an analysis of Bobby's conformation, and how it either helps or hinders him in the various disciplines we participate in.

Length vs. Height


Bobby is actually pretty balanced from this point of view. I know. I was surprised myself.

Helps: Well, it certainly doesn't do anything for him looks-wise. It helps him feel superior to those that don't fit in a box?

Heartgirth vs. Legs


Bobby's legs are longer than his heartgirth which surprised me. When you look at him, he doesn't have those super model long legs that make him look as tall as he is. They're also as thick as tree trunks. But when you stand next to him, you can appreciate the fact that he's a big boy. I guess tall kids don't always have to have sexy legs.

Helps: I won't give this horse credit for much athleticism, but he's got one fantastic gallop.

Hinders: Sometimes he can't figure out where his legs go, and then the flailing starts.

Topline vs. Underline


His withers are way higher than his croup. They're also exceptionally long. His underline is longer than his topline.

Helps: Nothing.

Hinders: My crotch during bareback riding.

Forequarter vs. Hindquarter

wow, i kept getting better and better at drawing my red box.
fuck you, geometry. 
His forequarters are significantly longer than his hindquarters. He's got that massive Mighty Magee rib cage and a notoriously weak hind end.

Helps: Power around on his forehand.

Hinders: Oh, I don't know. Perhaps this little thing we dabble in occasionally called dressage? Seriously, it's so hard to get this horse sitting on that tiny ass.

Shoulder vs. Back vs. Buttock


Bobby's shoulder is longer than his buttock, and his back is longer than both...combined.

Helps: Let me tell you, when he comes flying into a wide as shit jump and decides to take it from a mile away, the absurd length of his back is definitely an asset.

Hinders: Everything else on the planet.

Head vs. Body


All of these are equal except his heartgirth. Not as embarrassing as I thought it was going to be!

Hinders: Beauty contests.

Buttock vs. Hip vs. Stifle


His stifle to hip is the longest. The other two are about equal.

Helps: Support joint supplement companies and his chiro's yearly income.

Hinders: Collection, engagement, other basic necessities to simple correct self carriage.

Make sure you guys check out Terise's post so you can do some actual learning!

13 comments:

  1. So cool! Love the analysis :)

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  2. So neat! I love reading about conformation, such a cool topic!

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  3. That is so cool! I've always been interested in conformation but I have a terrible eye for it. This helped me!

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  4. I want to try doing this on my beastie.

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  5. I love your sarcasm. Thank you for taking the time to draw all the lines!

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  6. I know how your crotch feels. Ouch.

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  7. He is too just as cute! Thanks for joining in on the conformation fun, and remember, uphill withers are better than downhill!

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  8. lol, helps nothing. This post was informative and hilarious.

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  9. I did this today with Simonpants for a post next week! It was SUPER educational and I love your graphics for Mr. Bobby :)

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  10. Love this! Just found your blog and it makes me giggle, glad to know that I'm not alone in the land of "Poor Woman Showing!"

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  11. awesome!! bobby fits very nicely into his little red box :)

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  12. Loved it! And Bob is not that badly put together, really!

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  13. I was trying so hard to contain myself reading this, especially the part with his long back!

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