Racehorse Robert

I am currently in possession of one very fit Thoroughbred who has nothing to do with all his energy. The situation is further aggravated by the fact that his paddock is currently a mix of ice, slush, and mud so he can't run around with his friends without falling on his face. The trails are the same consistency which rules out a romp in the woods. 

Plus he really likes to nap to make sure I'm not getting shorted on the energy train.

all. the. time.

Our two flat rides over the weekend were super fancy. I think we might have broken the world record for longest period of extended trot in one go. This was after the world's longest hand gallop that did nothing to satisfy Bobby's crazies. 

We did get one or two productive things done over the past two days. Like....his half pass is really starting to improve at both the trot and canter. And his leg yields on the left were spot on instead of tense and crooked. We even trotted a line of six poles yesterday. We also cantered and jumped through those same poles a couple of times because event horses jump all the things always!!!!!! (Video on my facebook page if you want to laugh at us.)

But mostly I spent the weekend letting Bobby get some of his sillies out as much as he could in the indoor. We had a trot race against Memphis that Bobby made sure he won because he not only is he the fastest Thoroughbred, but also the fastest Standardbred, and no one will beat him ever because racehorses are the fastest all the time always!!!!!!

Are you sensing a theme here? Someone is ready for some cross country.

he's even getting blanket rubs on his tail. go away, winter!

To mix things up, I pulled out all his driving gear this morning. He was pumped for the change. I was standing at his head holding the bridle in my hand talking to BM, and he kept bumping me with his head. I absently patted him thinking he was being his usual nosy self, but as soon I lifted the bridle up to put it on him, he stuffed his face in it and practically swallowed the bit. Dude loves his driving outfit.

I ground drove him down to the indoor to hook him to the cart, which he would not stand still for to save his life until he got a smack in the chest to go along with me constantly yelling at him to "STAND, BOBBY!" That's why you should never hook up without another person, kids.

we even trot downhill now.

We did one loop around the ring just so I could make sure he wasn't going to freak since he hadn't been hitched since...last August? He didn't care in the slightest so we marched right out to the driveway and walked and trotted up and down it about a dozen times before calling it quits. 

I stopped to talk to BM as she was leaving and got out of the cart to adjust one of the straps on his breast collar. Bobby was being a pig about standing still because driving horses get to trot all the time we never stop ever because we are so fast (!!!!!!) and he nipped my hand. I walloped him in the chest again, and we didn't have any further problems with standing quietly for the rest of the drive.

distracted horse text break

He was also having difficulty with pushing the cart around to change directions. He's never been very good at this, and he's only had maybe four or five drives with someone going solo in the cart so I can't blame him. 

The problem is, he has to come almost to a halt and do a turn on the haunches to push the cart over instead of just making a half circle. That's hard to do when you just want to keep trotting because you are so fast you're the best trotting Amish horse in the whole barn never stop trotting or at least power walking!!!!!! I had to get out the first couple of times to help him, but he did get it by the end. 

I also forgot to dig out a nose band for him, so I'm grateful he did politely come back to the walk and halt when I asked him to. He can get a little bargey without one, but I think he was so happy to be doing something different today that it didn't matter. 

You can put a horse in hunter tack...

the look of eagles.
or the look of, "i'd rather be trail riding...down that trail back there."

...but lord have mercy, that does not make him a hunter horse!

We had a ballin' dressage school yesterday since I figured I should let my dressage saddle know I was still alive. Plus I had just sent in my membership fees for the Northeastern PA Horsemen's Association with the intention of winning the shit out of their dressage shows for a year end award. Love me some ribbons.

But anyway, Bobby was totally on point because he's ten now, and ten year olds are grown up horses.

Sometimes.

After a flawless warm up, we ran through Novice A because that's probably the first eventing test we'll be riding this year. Just to finish off the ride with something fun, I asked for some trot half pass. He was fucking amazing to the right. I tried it to the left and....well, we couldn't even really leg yield very in that direction. Oh well.

Then, to see if I could, I asked him for a half pass at the canter going right. Whaaaaaaat. Dudes, I totally got it for all its three steps of glory before we ran out of arena. I was pretty giddy. It might have been embarrassing if I'd been riding with someone else. And if I ever got embarrassed for giggling on my horse. Which I don't.

"what, lady? what the fuck do you want? just feed me that cookie already."

Today I was excited to get back to some jumping. I set up a long two stride line (either 2'6" to 3' or vice versa) and a 2'6" vertical on the diagonal. I also dressed Bobby up in a hunter horse outfit for some early preparation for this summer.

I left my reins a little longer and loopier than I usually do warming up to try to encourage a little nose poking out. Bobby was all, "Whatevs. Look at me win the hack class." And I was all, "Bobby, please. You immediately lose the hack class on looks alone. Get some control over those ears."

Once we started jumping, I was feeling pretty lost without my super thick rubber reins in my hands. I felt like I didn't know where to hold my reins, and like I had no control over my horse. Bobby was happy to accommodate my confusion by not really steering or slowing down. On the forehand? Counter bent? We dominated those things.

But he jumped everything without issue--it was just a little fast, and eventually got a little flat because 2'6" is insulting to Robert right now. I want the outdoor to melt!

I think the next time I trade the running for a standing, I'll also try out a pelham. Even if I never use the curb rein, maybe the feeling of two reins in my hands will make me more comfortable. Damn you hunt seat riders and your minimal tack!

Costume Creations: RuPaul, Drag Horse

I really hope I did this one at least a modicum of justice with a limited budget and selection of girly things you can decorate a horse with. To me, drag is just about the most amazing form of costume creation ever, but that might just be because I don't even know how to put on eyeliner.

I sent out an S.O.S. to Sarah to meet me at the dollar store to see what we could come up with. We pretty much just plucked everything pink off the shelves, added in some glitter glue, and bought out all of their fake hair...literally. I already had the boas and tiara (of course), and I just bought this fucking amazing Hello Kitty neck sleezy that was going to be perfect as the base layer for everything. I added in a lacy yellow bra with some bling on it that unfortunately didn't come out in the pictures and we were ready to go.

I put Sarah in charge of hair while I started hanging necklaces and boas around his neck. Sarah not only accommodated my request for bangs, but she also gave them a rather stylish cut and side sweep. We brought Bobby outside so I could wrap his legs with the metallic pink paper acting as a sort of pant/sleeve/who-cares-it's-pink. I added some silver glitter glue as eye make-up (well out of the way of his eyes, no fear), and attempted to give him some luscious lips.

He wasn't too impressed with that.

But damn did it make for a good picture.

Once he was as decorated as he was going to get, we just stood back and admired what an amazing job we'd done. It took me probably a full minute before I was even able to get my camera out because I was laughing so fucking hard.

I mean, I really can't even. I have the most tolerant horse on the entire planet.

He decided on his own when he was done being tortured and turned around to go back into the barn. I pulled his tiara and wrapping paper and gave him a few cookies. You'd think he'd be ashamed to be spotted by his fellow equines, but I thought he might want to show his bestie Memphis, so I sent him off to the courtyard to say hello as I cleaned up (Bobby is allowed to wander at free will around the barn. He doesn't ever go anywhere or get into anything.).

Sadly Memphis was scared shitless of Bobby in drag, so Bobby made do with saying hello to everyone else that was in. Once he was done, I gave him more cookies and started scrubbing the glitter off his face and side. He had a few sparkles remaining around his muzzle, but I can only see that as a good thing.

Trailer Tales

I've mentioned this a few times, but we finally bought a new trailer, and it finally came home today!

When we moved to PA at the end of 2010, we were able to pick up a trailer from a friend of Hubby's for a whopping $275. It's an old as hell Kingston, it's ugly, it's rusty, it doesn't have a divider, and there are about ten different locks on the back door because it didn't have any when we bought it, but structurally it's totally sound. 

there it is behind bobby in all it's ghetto glory

We've hauled one to two horses in it for the past four years, and it's never given us any problems--well, except for that time one of the tires blew on the world's shittiest road, and the spare mysteriously picked up a leak between then and when we checked it that morning. It was the easiest trailer in the world for me to learn to haul, and its squirrelly nature when asked to back up makes me feel like I can do a three point turn with a semi if called upon. 

But with the amount of shows I'm going to increasing, hauling out for trail rides, and me very slowly (very slowly) learning to love the nicer things in life, it was time for an upgrade. Last year we bought the truck, and this year our primary goals was to find the perfect trailer. 

I didn't think what I wanted was going to be all that hard to find. I wanted a two horse bumper pull with a dressing room. I didn't want full back doors because Bobby gets hot when it's fifty degrees out; he'd roast alive hauling in 80* weather with only sliding windows for ventilation. Those were literally my only must-haves.

Well apparently such magical trailers under $5,000 are in short supply around here.

I finally found one on craigslist in December, but we didn't have enough money for it then. I kept stalking the ad. It was re-posted in January...still didn't have the money. And then it disappeared. I was pretty bummed, but not surprised. Hubby finally gave me the green light at the end of February to find something with the intention of buying. 

I told him I'd already found what I wanted--it was just too bad they'd already sold it. But I opened up craigslist again, and what had just been re-posted that very day? My trailer! I immediately got in contact with the lady and set up a date to come see it. 

Of course, being in NE PA in the winter from hell, it snowed five inches the day we were supposed to go, and I had to wait even longer to touch it. 

Last week we were finally able to get up there. It's an extra tall '93 Trail-Et with a dressing room with approximately ten million bridle hooks and three saddle racks. The back is a ramp with no top doors. There are side windows and a top vent. The owners put an all new frame on it a couple of years ago, and were super meticulous in its upkeep.

And, talked down to only $3,000, it's ours! We've been fighting bad weather and work schedules to get the title signed over and the trailer picked up, but we finally made it happen today. I want to put my horse in it just because. 

As far as my old Kingston, I put it on craigslist, and two days later someone bought it for the full asking price. Easy peasy sale. It's been retired to local hauling, but mostly for training a horse that doesn't want to get on a trailer. 

Now I have to think up a new way to tell people how to find me at a show. "Look for the oldest, ugliest trailer being hauled by the green Dodge" isn't going to work anymore. Oh dang. :P

Double Digits

Bobby Magee turns the big one-oh today! This is the first time since I've been working with OTTB Magee that I feel like he's actually retained everything from the year(s) before, and we're progressing with every ride.

Not starting back at square one when show season rolls around? What is this sorcery?!

So maybe hitting double digits has finally encouraged Bobby to grow the fuck up a little bit. Maybe.

We celebrated with a brief w/t/c in the indoor, a jump over the world's tiniest vertical left over from the previous rider, and a short trail ride. Obviously he got a dozen homemade cookies and a couple carrots straight up, plus he probably mooched about ten cookies apiece off of everyone that walked into the barn. Horse people totally give in to the "But it's my birthday!!" face.

obviously he wore his birthday boy ribbon for the whole ride.

But I have more exciting news than that. I was at the barn first thing Friday morning so Bobby could be poked and all that jazz, went grocery shopping and horse show re-supply shopping, and then came home just in time to meet my UPS man who was delivering my new saddle along with its free leathers and irons. Yayyy! (A shout out to Adams Horse Supplies for their incredible customer service and super fast shipping. I actually wasn't expecting to see it until sometime this week.)

no more slipping saddle pads!

It's another Tekna which excites probably none of you, but it's what I can afford. More importantly than that, just like my Tekna dressage saddle, it fits Bobby perfectly. However, it took me a few days to get used to it.

The flap isn't long enough for me which is what it is. Save me the preaching that saddle fit is just as important for the rider as it is for the horse; if you want to purchase me a new saddle, feel free! The movable blocks were really annoying, and the first ride I couldn't get my leg where I wanted it for the life of me. Over the jump I was able to plant it, but up to and after it was free wheeling. BM suggested just ripping the blocks out altogether which was an instant fix. My leg felt miles better.

BO gave me a five minute mini jumping lesson while she waited for her normal lesson kids to make their way down to the ring, and we had Bobby downright levitating over a simple 2'6" vertical. He is soooo much happier in a saddle that fits this well. Such magic. Who would have ever guessed?

Bobby had the day off Saturday to recover from vaccinations (I asked BM if his neck looked swollen, and she was like, "No, Carly. That's his topline." I was all, "....what did you say?! My horse has a topline??? YAY!"), so I rode this appaloosa pony mare instead:

cookie!

Cookie embodies all that is an Appaloosa....and a mare....and a pony. We spent half of the riding bucking, and the other half doing whatever she pleased. Sarah had to yell at me to stop giggling or I was going to fall off. She was so much fun it was a little ridiculous. I'm not sure how well I actually schooled her for BO, but who cares. I'll "school her" any day of the week.

Sunday Bobby got a super quick jump school that was amazing. His jumping style over fences is improved one hundred percent. I didn't think the saddle fit on my HDR was that bad, and he never got sore from it, but it was obviously really limiting him. New video is definitely needed.

It was also finally warm enough that I let him get turned out naked for awhile. So sick of blankets and blanket changes and blanket rubs and blankets that never seem to dry one hundred percent because it's always fucking damp outside and constantly having to repair blanket rips because fuck you, blankets. Basically just sick of cold weather.

"hullo. i am the best at awkward posing."

Be on the lookout this week for Bobby's latest photo shoot: RuPaul. Friends on facebook have already seen them, but they're pretty fucking fierce.

this used to be my excess horse crap trunk at home. now it's collecting costume pieces.

TOABH: ermahgerd

Any excuse to use "ermahgerd" in a post is okay by me. Love the latest from Beka!

What is your pony's absolute favorite riding activity?  What makes those little ears perk and causes the knees to lift?  Let's just focus on the favorites - we'll save the bucks for next week.

Let me first point out that the "little ears" description in the above text does not apply here.

Moving on.

after stadium, staring intently out onto the xc course
(photo by niamh)

Without a doubt, out of all the activities Bobby gets forced upon him, cross country is his absolute favorite. At straight dressage shows, we get done with a test and he's already looking around for jumps. At events, as soon as the jump tack comes out, he quits dicking around and stands like a rock until I'm on him. In warm up, he's a beast. There's no standing still and waiting patiently.

jump ahead!

His ears are always up (a rarity in any situation), and he's always hunting for the next jump. I've gotten us into trouble by making some bad decisions before, and Bobby has repaid me by stopping in front of a fence once or twice, but for the most part he's completely point and shoot out there. He genuinely loves jumping cross country fences, and he's taken over and jumped by himself plenty of times while I just sit there clinging to him.

Now if we could just transfer that joie de vivre to stadium...

Costume Creations: Frontiers-horse

This past weekend I finally got around to crossing off one of Bobby's outfits from my Costume Creations list. It was without a doubt the easiest of the ten to accomplish as Hubby has all of this pioneer shit awesomeness. We just needed a day where it was above negative digits to get the pictures.

danger on the horizon!
or just looking for my fucking dogs

After Hubby dug out everything he deemed necessary for me--a buckskin shirt, homemade moccasins, a silly leather hat, the capote, grizzly bear fur trimmed mittens (made by my BM), a muzzle loader, a fucking tomahawk, and various pouches and necklaces of various importance--we headed out to the barn to see what we could scrounge up for Bobby. BO dug us out a blanket to strap to the back of the saddle and donated her buffalo hide chinks for the cause.

Obviously we went with a western saddle and pad, and I dug around the tack room to see if I found a western bridle I thought would work. I pulled out the least decorated (because bling doesn't really belong out in the wild, wild west of however long ago, amirite?) and showed it to Hubby. He was all, "Meh" so I brought out the rope side pull instead. It just looked more bad ass. Of course it was also too small for Bobby so I had to take the throat latch off, but whatever. It worked.

 Once we got the two of us dressed, which was serious fucking teamwork because that buckskin was a bitch and a half to get on, we scaled Bobby's favorite snow bank and dove into the accumulating snow to start our shoot.

Bobby immediately took Great Offense to me carrying the gun. I don't know if he likened it to a whip, or just assumed it was a bludgeoning stick and that I had taken him out into the woods to beat him to death. Really love having a horse that decided out of the blue one day that things in a rider's hand (any rider on any horse--it's not just me on his back) are going to kill him. Love it.

Anyway, we spent a large chunk of time trying not to run Hubby over as Bobby danced all over the place and ran himself into bushes until he finally just got over it on his own and realized there was nothing to be a spaz about.

We took a bunch of shots with just the buckskin on, and then added the hundred and fifty pound capote and the mittens to finish off the look. Holding reins with mittens that are about ten times too large for you is really hard, by the way.

This was more of a dress up for me I guess, but Bobby definitely had to be there to complete the look. I think next up is either a pretty, pretty princess or his drag persona. It will involve a lot of pink regardless.