Putting distractions to good use

In keeping up with the theme of yesterday's post, Bobby marched out of his stall with a serious case of the "I don't wanna"s.

He tricks me into thinking I luff him by always nickering a greeting to me when I'm not out there every day (or when I am out there everyday but he wants more hay), but then I see his big dumb mule face, and his lopsided ears, and his blanket is usually in a state of minor disarray that makes his withers look like they're even bigger than they already are, and he always smells like the pee he loves to sleep in, and I'm just like....I wish you were pretty.

niamh took one of the few photos of him looking sort of handsome.
(also, note him being distracted by horses on xc at plantation. focus, bobby!!)

Anyway, that has nothing to do with him being naughty. It was just a semi-morose thought that I have every time I see my horse.

The horses that usually go out during the day were still in because the hill they have to traverse to get to the barn was too icy to switch out paddocks. That meant Simon had his head hanging cheerily out of his stall and was only too happy to engage Bobby in a game of halter tag which mostly just involved Simon trying to pull Bobby's head into his stall while my horse stood there looking confused and ugly.

I got Bobby's saddle and breastplate on and went to bridle him, and he would not take the bit for anything. He would open his mouth to accept it like he always does, I'd go to slip it in, and he'd throw his head up and go back to playing with Simon. We finally had a CTJ about paying the fuck attention to your fucking mother and got the job done.

Then we had to walk past more horses that aren't usually in. Bobby was so excited to say hello to them that he didn't step up the little bump where the aisle changes surfaces, tripped, and nearly crashed into me. I swung around and planted my fists on my hips and gave him my best, "ARE YOU DONE FUCKING AROUND OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU NOW?" pose. He at least picked up on my bitch vibes and gave me no more problems on the ground.

more recycled pictures of bobby looking like a cute horse
 just to prove to myself it can be done.

I set up a few mock cross country jumps in the indoor because I lack zero course building creativity of my own. We had a two stride angled line (both 2'6" verticals as that's as high as those standards went), a skinny flower box thing (3'), and a faux corner (very small and squirrelly looking because I ran out of standards).

I accelerated our warm up on the flat because a girl pulled up right when I got on. Fortunately Bobby gave me no sass about it, and we continued on to the fences. The angle of the two stride was such that I could take each fence individually head-on, so I warmed him up over those first.

Again, we came in with a touch too much speed which still surprises me a bit. I guess I have to adjust to the tiny indoor again after spending all summer and fall in the outdoor. After I scaled back the canter a notch he was golden.

I took him over the corner on a circle a few times which he was totally okay with, and then it was time to put the two stride together.

He was a bit quick off the wall to the first jump, and a bit too quick through the actual combination, but overall not bad.

After going through that a few more times, we changed directions and did the sort-of-skinny. (Hubby needs to build me a nice chevron, amirite?)

The first time through, at the very last second I felt him drift right, but with the wing there he obviously had nowhere to go. He was very honest the rest of the time though.

Then things started falling apart. J brought a filly in to longe (....we won't go there. You know how much I love sharing the ring with people that longe.), and the filly's pasturemate was screaming her fucking brains out and running the fence like a fool--a fence that happens to be right outside the open side of the indoor.

Bobby was like, "EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING. ABORT THE BRAIN. ABORT IT."

Fortunately (I guess), the filly was being a nut bag and J ended up just walking her around which let me continue jumping. Unfortunately, Bobby was no longer focused on the job at hand.

Fortunately again, that meant he ended up being exactly the way he is at shows--tense, distracted, rushing jumps, overreacting to my corrections, and deer leaping everything in sight. It turned out to be a really good exercise in trying to bring his brain back while in the comfort of our own arena.

okay, i ran out of good pictures. apparently i only have two.

I couldn't quite get him back over the corner, and the angled line still wasn't as good as it was when we were alone, but I did get him to finish with a very good go over the skinny-ish. We just have to keep working at it, and as much as I prefer the easy, everything goes right rides, that's not the horse I have at shows and the show horse is the one that needs the work.

And to finish off the day in good Bobby form, I left him in the middle of the ring to put jumps away. All of the sudden I hear J yelling "Bobby, no!!" and I turn around to see him starting to go down. I sprinted across the arena and managed to yank him up before he turned his lay down into a full on rollies fest.

Way to keep it real, Robert.

A Hearty Dose of Asshole

Bobby was in rare form this past week. His long and low work has been getting better with each ride, and he's even getting more consistent stretching down to the right. I've discovered he has a very good reset button when he starts to get tense by simply doing a few rein backs. That lightens him right up and we're back to work again.

But he has also been showing his Mighty Magee side and being utterly ridiculous.

"I LITERALLY CANNOT HORSE RIGHT NOW."

On Friday he warmed up lovely. Then I asked him to start to come up a little bit and regulate his speed. This was HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. He flung his head into the air which both threw him off balance and kept his sight skyward instead of sideways-ward. The result was him smashing my knee into the side of the open door to the quarantine pen in the back of the arena as he went flailing about.

I was HIGHLY ANNOYED.

Then on Sunday we revisited some in-hand work where I'm teaching him to side pass over a pole. He is a gem about this on the ground--totally got it right away. Sunday I got on him to try it for the first time under saddle.

Bobby said, no. Bobby said, watch how fast I can run backwards...and sideways, and somehow get my feet tangled up in the pole which means I should run around like a spastic dick even more.

I was all, whatever. Totally used to it. You cannot phase me, Bobby.

So Bobby was like, Does this phase you?!?! and went on a legitimate bucking spree.

I was partly impressed he went to the effort and partly ready to brain him. Instead I just kicked him over to the pole, dismounted, and immediately made him side pass both ways over the fucking thing which he did perfectly. I put the pole away after that and left it for another day.

The next ten minutes of the ride were mediocre. Then an up-down lesson kid came in and waited in the middle of the ring for BO to come down. Bobby was pumped to have an audience and finished up beautifully.

I swear this giant mooseasaurus was a pony in a former life. A tiny pony that ate children but people still thought he was the greatest. And now he's just an asshole.

Monday I was stuck in jury duty all day, and today the weather is inclement enough that I don't want to drive to the barn, so hopefully he resets his dome piece.

Equestrian Journey Blog Hop: What will you NOT do?

You know I love me a good blog hop for filler, so I'm definitely jumping on board for this one from Equestrian Journey: We all like to share on our blogs what we do with our horses and what we would like to do, but I want to know what you will NOT do.

none of this, thanks.

I'm a surprisingly non-judgemental person (and I say surprisingly because I'm also a total bitch), so there isn't much that I look at and think "That is so totally wrong. I would never do that." I tend to leave things alone and let people go their own ways as long as they let me do the same. Use your gadgets, longe your horse for an hour before getting on it, tell Fu Fu it's okay that he can walk on top of you because he's "scared of the barn cat", yada yada. Whatever.

The one thing I won't tolerate is paying for a service that doesn't get delivered. As the name of this blog implies, money doesn't flow freely in Carly Land. I pick and choose what I spend it on carefully, and I can't just stand there and watch it disappear without getting something back.

I've moved my horse(s) two times since we moved down here to PA, and both moves were because I wasn't getting what I signed a contract for.

I went through three farriers before being done with the whole thing, pulling my horse's shoes, and doing the work myself because no one would do what I was asking them to, and they weren't willing to take any suggestions on their work.

I paid for four lessons with my BO, and while the first was worth it, the quality of instruction that I was asking for wasn't there following that one, and I won't use her again.

Those are a few semi-recent, relevant examples, but the theory applies to everything in the horse world--and really the rest of my life, too. If you're not delivering good hay, you're not getting my money. If your product doesn't last like it should, I won't buy from you again. If you won't return my calls, you don't get my business.

Don't mess with bitchy me, basically.

Short and Boring.

Ugh, so sick. So dying. So feel like I should be excused from my hundred sit ups today. So don't want to make those up another day. So regret making goals every month.

But I did ride my pony today. I couldn't breathe and accomplished two jumping efforts in a row before having to take a walk break and catch my breath, but hot damn it got done.

bobby loves exploring snow banks

I dragged my ass out of bed super late this morning because I was feeling so shitty. After getting some things done around the house, I saw I had a message from S saying she was heading to the barn. Since I haven't seen her in forever, and I was originally planning on going to the barn anyway, I loaded up the hounds and headed out.

I got there late, and S was feeling sick too, so she finished riding while I tacked up and meandered around the ring. There were two jumps set up at B and E from an earlier rider so I made one a 2'6" vertical and the other a 3' vertical.

poor burton got locked in the hay stall with mags while horses got turned out.
he wanted to be freed from the demon dog.

demon dog scales the hay bales in pursuit of burt.

Bobby once again warmed up really nicely long and low...to the left. He's still very sticky to the right, but I think he's coming up on needing an adjustment. Merry Christmas to you, Bobby. Just take all my money.

LOL, what money?!

Anyway.

We chipped every single time on the first approach to both fences from both directions. I thought we had a good canter, but it might have been a little strong for the confines of the indoor. The second time through was always good though, until we came back to the 3' vertical. Then Bobby was all "Charge!!!!" and we were really fucking up.

Usually our problems stem from a lack of pace, but that was not the case today. So I made a proactive decision (I know, I know. Everyone just settle the fuck down.) and held to the fence. There was much verbal "whoa"-ing and half halting, and I didn't let him trick me into giving him more rein when he flung his head up. I'm surprised happy to say that it totes worked, and by me being an active rider and over-riding my sassy horse's choices we prevailed in dominating the distances.

sassy horse is sassy in warm weather. 

I finished up with having him angle both fences off the rail several times which he was much better about than taking them head-on. Whatevski, Robert.

Since I actually ended up going to the barn yesterday (I was in town buying Christmas lights, so why not.) and working him on the line for awhile, I don't know if I'll put in a dressage school tomorrow. It will probably hinge on whether or not my bitch body wants to stop being sick.

WW: Mags discovers snow

the puppy's first encounter with falling snow

"wut is dis stuff?"

 

"is all over the ground too!"

"imma have a sit and think about it."

A Bobby post

I'm baaack! Yay! Though if I look at page views and comments, I think you guys like me more when I just schedule shit.

Whatever. I hate all of you, too.

No, just kidding! Although I do hate that all of you look like you continued to do fun things last week and posted about them. I now have have ten million bajillion blog posts to catch up on, and I am determined to read every last one of them. Couldn't the blogosphere have gone into hibernation for the holiday? Does the world not revolve around the fact that I don't have a laptop anymore to read posts while I'm away? WHAT IS THIS INJUSTICE?!

My short-lived vacation was pretty fabulous. I ate way too much food, bought way too many Christmas presents on Black Friday, and convinced my mom to get me new tall boots for Christmas. Winning! Plus we missed all the bad weather out here in PA.

hubby's boss sent us this on wednesday. that's our house under 8" of snow.
there was nothing left when we got home sunday. also winning.

I went out to the barn for the first time yesterday morning. Bobby was none the worse for wear, aside from looking like he'd just sat around for a full week. I had to trim his raggedy ass front feet, undo the janky ass braids from his mane, re-mow his bridle path, pick a week's worth of shavings from his tail, and trim around his face to erase all signs of a goat beard.

i went to the carriage house to get the hoof stand and walked out to find bobby
waiting for me. he thought since the puppies and i got to leave, he should too.
btw, check out that forelock comb-over look. wtf, bro?

After he looked like he could be shown to the public with nothing more than the usual "My horse is so ugly and awkward errday", I got him tacked up and stuck him on the longe in the indoor. He looked very stiff and even a little lame as soon as he picked up the trot. But I learned last year that this type of wet, chilly weather really affects his Lyme and that's just the way he comes out. After ten minutes on the line, he was looking a thousand times more comfortable and was cruising along without issue.

Once I got on, he was feeling like a young, fit, naked Thoroughbred on a cold day that hadn't been ridden in a week. I threw in some quick transitions, but that quickly went out the window as that type of work just makes Bobby super fired up. Off my leg? More like about to be launched into outer space if I think about moving back up to the canter. Sometimes you've just gotta trot it out, yo. In two point. With a bridge in your reins. And some Disney songs going through your head to relieve your boredom as your horse powers around in endless laps at mach ten.

Eventually he sort of settled down enough, and I quit after only fifteen minutes or so. He was really stretching down at the trot and canter to the left, and he wasn't too horrendous to the right so I called it a win for the first ride back.

first ride back foamy face. i'll allow it.

Today was slightly more intensive. A baby horse was getting longed when we got to the indoor so instead of also longeing Bobby I just doubled our walk warm up. It wasn't nearly as damp outside today--although it was significantly colder--and I think that made him feel a little better.

We did a lot of stretchy trot to warm up which I am so in love with. Bobby has always been the worst at stretching, but he's decided he's now the best at it. I much prefer this new Bobby. He was still a bit of a monster as far as needing to get some crazies out, so I channeled the forward energy over a teeny tiny little oxer someone had left out. We jumped it on a circle a few times each way, and he felt more settled after that.

We finished up by running through Training A and doing a bit more stretchy trot because it's so fun.

MOAR FOAMY FACE.
stretching makes bobby happy.

He'll get tomorrow off because I said so, and then a ride in the dressage saddle (which I was too lazy to pull out the past two days), and probably an easy jump school Friday.

puppies and pony frolicking!

November Review, December Goals

So the month of November was really more like the month of the jumper pony. I think I can count on one hand the number of real dressage rides we had. However, jumping is the area where we suck the most so I am totally okay with how that worked out. Every month should be jumping month...except that it makes Bobby think he no longer has to do the dressage, too.

November Review:

1. Ride a lap every ride without stirrups. Yeah, no. That is all.

2. Canter to trot transitions. Miles and miles better. Lots of half halting and transitions helped.

3. Find a bit to get us through the winter doldrums. He seems totally content in the thin racing dee, so whatever. I guess that's what will stick with for now.

fit horse is very fit right now. a little too fit.

December Goals:

1. Keep jumping. It's going to get cold and eventually snow. Even if the snow isn't much, the outdoor footing is already frozen, so it's time to retreat to the indoor. I hate jumping in the indoor, so I'm going to have to force myself to keep a consistent jump schedule going.

2. Don't forgot the dressage. With that said, I have to not skimp on the flat work, too. There are no running martingales in dressage, Robert. We have to stop cheating.

3. 3100 sit up challenge. Now moved to December by me. Jumping around the other week, I loved how secure my lower leg is feeling. Obviously I need to keep that strong, but I was throwing in some auto releases and my core was like "Whaaaa--?" Work together, body parts!

4. Incorporate ground work. That's pretty much all I did the last couple weeks of November, and I forgot how much I like it. Plus it means more cookies for Bobby, and anything that I can do to bribe my horse to like me is winning in my book.