Tuesday, December 9, 2014

A Hearty Dose of Asshole

Bobby was in rare form this past week. His long and low work has been getting better with each ride, and he's even getting more consistent stretching down to the right. I've discovered he has a very good reset button when he starts to get tense by simply doing a few rein backs. That lightens him right up and we're back to work again.

But he has also been showing his Mighty Magee side and being utterly ridiculous.

"I LITERALLY CANNOT HORSE RIGHT NOW."

On Friday he warmed up lovely. Then I asked him to start to come up a little bit and regulate his speed. This was HIGHLY OFFENSIVE. He flung his head into the air which both threw him off balance and kept his sight skyward instead of sideways-ward. The result was him smashing my knee into the side of the open door to the quarantine pen in the back of the arena as he went flailing about.

I was HIGHLY ANNOYED.

Then on Sunday we revisited some in-hand work where I'm teaching him to side pass over a pole. He is a gem about this on the ground--totally got it right away. Sunday I got on him to try it for the first time under saddle.

Bobby said, no. Bobby said, watch how fast I can run backwards...and sideways, and somehow get my feet tangled up in the pole which means I should run around like a spastic dick even more.

I was all, whatever. Totally used to it. You cannot phase me, Bobby.

So Bobby was like, Does this phase you?!?! and went on a legitimate bucking spree.

I was partly impressed he went to the effort and partly ready to brain him. Instead I just kicked him over to the pole, dismounted, and immediately made him side pass both ways over the fucking thing which he did perfectly. I put the pole away after that and left it for another day.

The next ten minutes of the ride were mediocre. Then an up-down lesson kid came in and waited in the middle of the ring for BO to come down. Bobby was pumped to have an audience and finished up beautifully.

I swear this giant mooseasaurus was a pony in a former life. A tiny pony that ate children but people still thought he was the greatest. And now he's just an asshole.

Monday I was stuck in jury duty all day, and today the weather is inclement enough that I don't want to drive to the barn, so hopefully he resets his dome piece.

20 comments:

  1. I am sorry that your horse is a giant dickwad but omg he makes me laugh so hard.

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  2. I second Alli! Robert is the funniest, and your photo captions are THE BEST EVER.

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  3. That picture of Bobby...I can't stop laughing!!!

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  4. I have been working on the sidepass over the pole for a year and a half now. When we started, I had Ashke step over the pole about one step from the end, stand and then sidepass one step (we started to the right) to the right and be finished. Then I made a huge deal out of it. We practiced the one step in both directions. I wanted him to understand we could go both ways, but he needed to clear the pole, either way. Then we moved to two steps. Then we moved to the center of the pole. Then 3/4 and now, finally, the entire pole from either side. Breaking it down into just one step seemed to really help him figure out how to do the obstacle.

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    1. Yes, that was the plan....someone likes to throw tantrums over absolutely nothing however. If he so much as halted over the pole, he got big praise. But that was not enough to calm Sir Robert.

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  5. Oh cheeky Bobby! :)
    I'm a bit jealous of your jury duty, I always thought that would be interesting.

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    1. I sat in a room with 100 other people from 8:30am until 3:30pm and did literally nothing because I didn't get selected for anything. That was my jury duty. :P

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    2. I've been on a jury, while mildly interesting, very over-rated. Absolutely frustrating when you know you have a good idea what happened but things are "inadmissible" or comments are sustained so then you have to pretend not to hear.

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  6. Your posts are always so funny. Bobby is such a character!!

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  7. arghh bobby!! sounds exactly like a pony: nope cannot do this - oh wait, there's an audience?? guess i can look a *little* nice....

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  8. "So Bobby was like, Does this phase you?!?! and went on a legitimate bucking spree."

    HAHAHAHA. Sorry. Should not be laughing at your bad ride... but hahahaha.

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  9. Bobby is such a character & I totally envy your bad ass reaction to his antics and awesome way of retelling his snarkiness *not-worthy*

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  10. The smaller the pony the closer to hell is my favorite saying.

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  11. Pony is a four-letter word. Just sayin'.

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  12. I have a grown up pony too. The tempertantrums are epically epic. We should really start a club.

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  13. Ah horse tantrums, always sooo much fun.

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  14. I love your posts on Mr. Bobby Magee. I love this post so much.

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  15. Ahahaha. Oh those moments are the worst... but the best. I just can't Horse right now mom... I just can't.

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If you can't say anything nice, fuck off.