Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Putting distractions to good use

In keeping up with the theme of yesterday's post, Bobby marched out of his stall with a serious case of the "I don't wanna"s.

He tricks me into thinking I luff him by always nickering a greeting to me when I'm not out there every day (or when I am out there everyday but he wants more hay), but then I see his big dumb mule face, and his lopsided ears, and his blanket is usually in a state of minor disarray that makes his withers look like they're even bigger than they already are, and he always smells like the pee he loves to sleep in, and I'm just like....I wish you were pretty.

niamh took one of the few photos of him looking sort of handsome.
(also, note him being distracted by horses on xc at plantation. focus, bobby!!)

Anyway, that has nothing to do with him being naughty. It was just a semi-morose thought that I have every time I see my horse.

The horses that usually go out during the day were still in because the hill they have to traverse to get to the barn was too icy to switch out paddocks. That meant Simon had his head hanging cheerily out of his stall and was only too happy to engage Bobby in a game of halter tag which mostly just involved Simon trying to pull Bobby's head into his stall while my horse stood there looking confused and ugly.

I got Bobby's saddle and breastplate on and went to bridle him, and he would not take the bit for anything. He would open his mouth to accept it like he always does, I'd go to slip it in, and he'd throw his head up and go back to playing with Simon. We finally had a CTJ about paying the fuck attention to your fucking mother and got the job done.

Then we had to walk past more horses that aren't usually in. Bobby was so excited to say hello to them that he didn't step up the little bump where the aisle changes surfaces, tripped, and nearly crashed into me. I swung around and planted my fists on my hips and gave him my best, "ARE YOU DONE FUCKING AROUND OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU NOW?" pose. He at least picked up on my bitch vibes and gave me no more problems on the ground.

more recycled pictures of bobby looking like a cute horse
 just to prove to myself it can be done.

I set up a few mock cross country jumps in the indoor because I lack zero course building creativity of my own. We had a two stride angled line (both 2'6" verticals as that's as high as those standards went), a skinny flower box thing (3'), and a faux corner (very small and squirrelly looking because I ran out of standards).

I accelerated our warm up on the flat because a girl pulled up right when I got on. Fortunately Bobby gave me no sass about it, and we continued on to the fences. The angle of the two stride was such that I could take each fence individually head-on, so I warmed him up over those first.

Again, we came in with a touch too much speed which still surprises me a bit. I guess I have to adjust to the tiny indoor again after spending all summer and fall in the outdoor. After I scaled back the canter a notch he was golden.

I took him over the corner on a circle a few times which he was totally okay with, and then it was time to put the two stride together.

He was a bit quick off the wall to the first jump, and a bit too quick through the actual combination, but overall not bad.

After going through that a few more times, we changed directions and did the sort-of-skinny. (Hubby needs to build me a nice chevron, amirite?)

The first time through, at the very last second I felt him drift right, but with the wing there he obviously had nowhere to go. He was very honest the rest of the time though.

Then things started falling apart. J brought a filly in to longe (....we won't go there. You know how much I love sharing the ring with people that longe.), and the filly's pasturemate was screaming her fucking brains out and running the fence like a fool--a fence that happens to be right outside the open side of the indoor.


Fortunately (I guess), the filly was being a nut bag and J ended up just walking her around which let me continue jumping. Unfortunately, Bobby was no longer focused on the job at hand.

Fortunately again, that meant he ended up being exactly the way he is at shows--tense, distracted, rushing jumps, overreacting to my corrections, and deer leaping everything in sight. It turned out to be a really good exercise in trying to bring his brain back while in the comfort of our own arena.

okay, i ran out of good pictures. apparently i only have two.

I couldn't quite get him back over the corner, and the angled line still wasn't as good as it was when we were alone, but I did get him to finish with a very good go over the skinny-ish. We just have to keep working at it, and as much as I prefer the easy, everything goes right rides, that's not the horse I have at shows and the show horse is the one that needs the work.

And to finish off the day in good Bobby form, I left him in the middle of the ring to put jumps away. All of the sudden I hear J yelling "Bobby, no!!" and I turn around to see him starting to go down. I sprinted across the arena and managed to yank him up before he turned his lay down into a full on rollies fest.

Way to keep it real, Robert.


  1. Ohhhh Robert, always making things interesting.
    PS I'm literally LOL'ing at this post. You are the best :)

  2. it's always interesting in bobby-land... kinda cool that you were able to unintentionally recreate the horse you have at shows and school through that tho. also - love the squirrely faux corner!

    1. I need to do this too! I'll be going to a couple more clinics before show season which helps.... strange screaming horses and funny smells and long trailer rides get Twister all worked up and distracted, though never at Bobby's level lol

  3. Oh Bobby! What a naughty, naughty boy.

  4. I always laugh so hard at your posts - Robert is adorable and so derpy.

  5. Bobby is handsome in an understated kinda way ;)

  6. I think bobby's quite handsome. Which is different than pretty, yes. But just as good.

  7. Omg. Sounds like we could compare "sharing with other boarders" stories in a less public forum. ;-)

  8. The at home horse v. show horse struggle is real. Bobby's ears look so cute on the helmet cam, tho

  9. I think I love Bobby. He sounds like my kind of asshole. I will trade you my very pretty horse for him :)

  10. Lol, don't hate on those lunging psycho mares, its all some of us have right now ;) Love the helmet cam videos as always.

  11. Aww no you have more then 2 handsome bobby pictures, but I also like donkey bobby pictures because I own a moose and not a horse.


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