Thursday, June 5, 2014

Riding without spurs

I failed to mention that last week at our gaming show, I snapped one of my spurs in half. Now you may be thinking, "What in the holy fuck did you have to do accomplish that? Are Bobby's insides spilling out of the hole in barrel?" But really, they were cheap plastic POW spurs I've been riding in almost daily for the past ten-ish years. That they've lasted this long is amazing.

However, that still leaves me without any pokes on my boots, and while Bobby may have moments of raging lunatic he's mostly a plug--especially on the flat. With one of the goals this month being an increase in impulsion and general forwardness, the lack of my little helpers is apparent.

"yes, hello. enough with the pictures. there are cookies to be had."
"these cookies here. i need them. all of them."

He warms up peppy and in front of my leg. After we take a little walk break, I start to ask him to come up a little more and really put his tush to work. That's when he begins to alternate between "Can't do it" and "I can always go one gait faster than you want me to!"

Me: Okay, time to pick up the reins and see if we can push this walk out more.

Bobby: Oh, thank god. Time for trotting. Things were getting so boring.

Me: No, Bobby. We need to work on a bigger, more relaxed walk.

Bobby: UGH. FINE. I'll walk.

Me: Right, but gnashing at your bit isn't really relaxed.

Bobby: What if I do chin touches to my chest?

Me: Yeah, no. Also not indicative of relaxation.

Bobby: What if I do both at the same time?

Me: Just fucking trot already.

Bobby: Ughhhhhh, my butt is soooo tireddddd.

Me: Please. Please trot like I know you're capable of doing.

Bobby: I....can't.....even.....

Me: Will you wake up with a canter? Bobby? Hello? Did you not feel my legs?

Bobby: What now?

Me: My legs! The legs that are pressed against your fat sides with everything they're worth! Holy fuck, canter!

Bobby: Oh, geeze. So they are. Alright, I guess I can canter a bit.

Me: Alright, let's try the trot again.

Bobby: CANTER. CANTER ALL THINGS. CANTER YOU INTO THE WALL. CANTER IN THE WALK. CANTER IN THE TROT. CANTER IN THE--HOLY SHIT THERE WAS JUST A PERSON WALKING DOWN THE DRIVEWAY!!!!!!!!!

Me: Remember when we did this fun exercise called bending around my inside leg doing a 20m circle to the right? Let's do that. At the walk.

Bobby: Back to bit chomping and neck curling. Good idea. That's my favorite go-to exercise, too.


I swear I have the most schizophrenic horse on the planet. It's like I get to ride a different horse not only every day, but every five minutes. 

12 comments:

  1. At least you'll never be bored?

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  2. Fiction is the same way with the walk - he doesn't seem to understand that he can move out at the walk without trotting ><; I feel your pain.

    And like Alli said - at least you'll never be bored haha.

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  3. Variety is the spice of life!

    I feel your pain.

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  4. No boredom for you, that's for sure!! :D

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  5. Hahaha yet another brilliant conversation between you and Bobby! I love it :)

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  6. I can completely relate to that.

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  7. I think Bobby and Simon have some similarities :)

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  8. Something I learned at my english lessons for getting a bigger walk is using alternating leg pressure. The horse's ribcage naturally swings back and forth to move out of the way of the back legs, so if you can find the rhythm in the ribs, you can add a little pressure with one of your heels at a time in the direction the ribs are moving and it helps encourage a bigger walk.

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  9. Ha ha ha! The joys of having a horse with ADHD! LOL

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  10. Ha, too funny! In our second week of flatwork bootcamp now, I'm realizing I need spurs myself. The beginning of our rides sound a lot like yours, but a whip makes Henry come totally undone. Oh darn, a valid excuse to go to the tack shop.

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  11. "Ughhhhhh, my butt is soooo tireddddd." LOLOLOLOLOL

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