Monday, January 4, 2016

Selling the horse

No, there is no posted sale ad up for Bobby at the moment. I did, however, want to write a sorta specific post on what's been going through my mind lately that a for sale ad has finally been put on the priority list, even if it's just a footnote at the end of it.

*This game plan didn't work out? We've already tried this, this, and this? OK. Time to look into selling the horse.

I don't think it's an unfair plan to have in place for anyone involved.


No one is allowed to say I haven't put in the time or haven't tried to make this work. I've ridden Bobby in a riding horse capacity for the past five years. We've had long spans and short spans of problems, and eventually they get resolved enough that we're able to take one mincing step forward. Sometimes even two steps! This is not the first time selling Bobby has been put on the table.

Through all of it, I've been pretty ambivalent to the role Bobby's played in my life. I love horses. I enjoy riding. I like competing. I like doing well at shows. Bobby has taken me to a lot of firsts in my showing career, and while I appreciate it when he saves my ass over a jump, or steps up to the plate when my confidence is lacking, I find it hard to give him the credit he probably deserves. He's half of the partnership that gets the job done, and yet, to me, he's nothing more than the horse I'm sitting on when it happens.

It was hard for me to make the switch from losing Red who was beyond a doubt my heart horse to working solely with Bobby, and Bobby has always been so much less than Red. I probably have some underlying daily resentment that I ended up stuck with this horse instead of still being able to be with Red Pony. Maybe no other horse will ever be good enough for me.

#crazyhorsegirlproblems

That's for me to work through though. Bobby is not your horse to sell or to keep. It's not your situation to live with day to day.


Thank you to the people I've exchanged ideas with who have been tactful and supportive, yet willing to have a little back and forth on the situation. I appreciate being able to bounce thoughts off of people who aren't judgmental bitches. (Pretty much all of my blog friends are these people, whether we've talked about this or not. Thanks to all of you for also not being judgmental bitches!)

Bobby is doing...pretty well at the moment actually. It's not as if he's being ignored or abused just because he enjoys throwing epic fucking tantrums for no apparent reason. I treat him with respect (okay, well, minus the whole costume thing...), he gets attention, he gets praise, he's not ridden hard and put away without so much of a backwards glance. He's being treated like a well cared for riding horse and is going about his daily life blissfully unaware he might end up with a new home this year.

So that's that. We got two inches of snow last night and are expecting another two today, plus the predicted high is barely supposed to reach double digits, so today is the perfect day to get caught up on what we've been doing, what's worked, what hasn't.

It's positive stuff. It's nothing that erases the plan to reevaluate in the spring or summer and sell if that still seems like the best option, but it's enough to put me in a better mindset going forward.

31 comments:

  1. Ah, that sucks to Even be thinking about it. Good luck to you. I know youll figure out what's right for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This sport is too expensive to spend it unhappy, or dissatisfied. You do whatever is best for you and for Bobby, even if it means parting ways. Your journey has been great thus far, but it may be just a chapter in your life with horses.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've been pretty out of the loop lately, so this is the first I've read about you wanting to sell him. But hey - life is too short to not have an equine partner that you don't LOVE spending time with. If he's not that guy for you, there's no harm selling him to a happy home where maybe he can be that for someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Aw, bummer. I was hoping things would glue themselves back together for the sake of you both, but you do have to do what is best for you at the end of the day. I don't think there is anything wrong with parting ways - good luck to you both!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with Lauren. Life is too short and horses are too expensive to not have a horse you look forward to riding every single day. Best of luck with whatever ends up happening!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I commented on your last post trying to urge you not to beat yourself up! You do whats right for you...judgmental bitches arent worth it!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Add me to the chorus of "Horses are too expensive not to love the one you're with!" You've made Bobby into an awesome athlete, and I'm sure if he's not the right one for you, he'll be amazing for someone else, and you'll find your perfect partner. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I had no idea this was even a diccussion point! But good for you for being honest with yourself and Bobby. I echo Lauren's feelings, but most of all it's YOUR decision and none of anyone else's business. You've always been a thoughtful, self-aware person who will come to the best possible decision for all parties (and especially for YOU).

    ReplyDelete
  9. I would have to agree. This sport is way too hard, expensive and time-consuming to be riding the horse that isn't right for you. You're the only one who can know if Bobby is still the right horse for you, or if he's just the horse you have. Also, judgmental bitches, ain't nobody got time for that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey, if you sell Bobby, you sell Bobby. I'm impressed with the things you've achieved with him, because he's always sounded like a difficult horse to ride. (Maybe 'difficult' is the wrong word, but he seems like he needs a tactful ride.) I hope you're able to find another heart horse!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Making this kind of evaluation is hard. When Mikey died, I didn't have another horse in the wings. I lucked into an incredible replacement for him, and I thoroughly enjoy and love Penn. But before Penn came home, I decided he would have a year to show me what he's got, and if it wasn't enough, I'd pop him back up for sale. I can't imagine losing a heart horse and then having a partner I didn't enjoy as much as the heart horse. As so many others have said: life is too short and horses are too hard/expensive/time consuming to be working with a horse that isn't right for you. And only you can decide that!

    ReplyDelete
  12. You should have the horse that makes you happy. If it's not Bobby, that's cool. I'm sure you'll find him a good new home.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You've done a damn good job with him so far. And it was not easy, so major high fives for you. We will be here with you and supporting you for whatever you choose to do!

    P.S. Still replaying that video of Pig on the slide over and over in my mind.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Horses take a ton of time, money and attention. If you are not happy, there is no reason for you to keep going down the path. Selling a horse should not be a horrible decision to make if you can ensure they are going to a good home. Find a horse you click with to spend your limited disposable income and then really enjoy the partnership!

    ReplyDelete
  15. If he's not "the one" or even "the one for right now", there is no shame in selling him. Hell, even if it is based on a personality clash, it's more fair to you both to move on.

    If you're heart isn't really ready to sell him, then it's safe to keep on with what you both have been working toward.

    If you keep coming back to the idea, though... maybe it's time to break up...

    ReplyDelete
  16. I asked my hubby if I could have Bobby in a couple years and you'd think I'd blind-sided the man with a brick. I don't think "another horse" dawned on him. Muhahahahahahahah

    ReplyDelete
  17. Do what you gotta do; whatever will make you happiest. You've done great things with (and to) Bobby.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Aww, that is a so very hard decision! I went through this with Paloma. I thought we did not mesh. I waited and we finally clicked but tantrums were not our problem. THAT I don't know if I could handle....
    I wish you luck on what ever decision you make. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sucks that you're having a rough time. I hope you sort things out!

    ReplyDelete
  20. It's good that your not just pissed off and threatening to sell him, that you've thought it through over literally years. If your just not happy with him then I'd say selling might be a good option. He's by no means a bad horse, and it sounds like you know that. But if your not loving it then you owe it to yourself to find something you do love. You may never find a horse you connect with as much as Red but I believe you will find a horse you connect with more then Bobby. You deserve to find that horse. There is no shame in finding a good home for Bobby and then starting over with another horse. Be strong and listen to your gut.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I know exactly where you're coming from, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. I really wish you luck in this! I love hearing about Bobby adventures and I'd love to hear about more adventures with more ponies too :D

    ReplyDelete
  22. You deserve to be happy and to LOVE riding your horse. Riding and horse ownership is too hard to settle for anything else. I didn't lose a heart horse, but I did end a riding partnership that meant a lot to me, just prior to getting Alex. Initially it was VERY hard not to make comparisons and be let down when Alex wasn't Gryffen, but eventually I found that I really LOVED Alex in spite of some really rough times. Sounds as though you haven't found another heart horse and that's OK. Bottom line is it's your decision and sounds to me like you're putting a lot of thought into what you want. No judgmental bitches here :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. It took me a few years before I seriously considered selling my mare. A back injury combined with an extra spooky Arabian was just not working out; she DID NOT CARE if spooking 4 feet sideways ended with us slamming into a tree/wall on more than one occasion. It took a little bit to find the right home, but her new owner was referred by a friend and turned out to be a great fit.
    A friend has the opposite problem & hasn't fully admitted it yet. She is actually afraid of her horse to the extent that she hasn't ridden in months, if not years. The horse picks up on her fear and gets nervous, which makes her worry more; it's such a vicious cycle. Her horse is green, sensitive and huge, which is pretty much the worst combination for a beginner. The horse isn't that bad at all, they're just a bad match as far as temperament and experience. Quite a few people have mentioned that she would be so much better off with a different horse, but she's still emotionally attached.

    ReplyDelete
  24. It sounds like you are looking at things logically. I'm here to cheer you on no matter what you route you go! :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. i have definitely had success with horses that were just the things i sat on, and then success (and failures) with horses that i loved deeply. it's a completely different set of emotional experiences for me. and not something that requires an explanation for anyone else who feels differently. Bobby is a very cool horse, and you recognize that objectively. whether he's the right cool horse for *you* - only you can decide. good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  26. If, after 5 years (plus the 2 years you raised his little baby ass), you still don't *feel* it, that it's not right, then maybe he's meant to be someone else's heart horse. I have a friend that bought a mare and tried for years to make it work. She sold her finally to another girl who clicked instantly with the mare and that mare is that girl's heart horse. Bobby's a great horse and I'd probably be more sad if you sold him than you would lol. But every rider needs to be riding a horse that they are in love with like you loved Red Pony. I don't think we get just one heart horse. The first one teaches us how to find the 2nd.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You do you. haters gonna hate. Potatoes gonna patotate.

    Srsly though, I've been there. Literally.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Who cares what other people think. You have to decide what's best for you. If you're not enjoying the ride as much as you should because of the horse then it may in both of your best interests to move on.

    ReplyDelete

If you can't say anything nice, fuck off.