Thursday, January 28, 2016

Demon Fire

BM declared Bobby a good event horse because of the demon fire that rages inside him. "And now we just have to get you to use your demon fire for good, and not towards killing your mother." Which we made an infantile step towards today when I trotted and cantered him over a cross rail...

THREE WHOLE TIMES.

LOOK AT HOW BIG IT WAS.
(and no, we did not jump that vertical. bitch, please.)

Okay, so it was actually the world's smallest X, but that's just fine. BM had me warm the beast from hell up for her as she wrapped up a lesson. I'd had fun riding yesterday and was feeling good this morning, so while BM went to put on her helmet, I got SUPER FUCKING BALLSY and decided I could jump this thing.

Bobby was like, "Whatevs, doing my thing, we'll hop over these ground poles if you really feel the need."

And I was like, "I'M PUTTING MY LEG ON I AM BEING SO BRAVE YOU WILL JUMP THIS GIANT X AND YOU WILL NOT STOP OR I WILL GO RAGE MONSTER ON YOU BECAUSE I AM SO BAD ASS I CAN DO THAT YOU DO NOT SCARE ME!!!!!"

To which Bobby replied, "Okay."

"now give me snacks."

I mean, obviously the actual jumping of the minuscule cross rail was not the victory here. It was my mindset, and so what if it was for a six inch jump? Small wins, people. Small wins.

BM started him out at the trot with the jumps remaining at their tiny Carly height. They remained small so she could play mind games with his spazzy brain. "Oh, you think we're going to jump that jump? Just kidding! We're jumping this one right behind you." Bobby likes to lock on to jumps, and fuck you if you don't want him to go, so BM suggested playing this game with him a lot, even over ground poles. It got his brain engaged and made him start paying attention to his rider instead of seeing a jump and not thinking about anything but blasting over it.

arthur says stop stocking up on kleenex and let me into the tack room already.

After a good warm up with lots of, "Do not land in a heap on your forehand. You will carry yourself uphill at all times." BM had me make the cross rails into verticals and roll the ground poles way out so there was no adding that last stutter step to squeeze in as close to the base of the fence as possible.

We also started building a line to the 2'9" vertical by putting a pole 9' out. After hopping over the other two verticals a few times, they went to work on the line-to-be.

The first time through, Bobby sailed over the vertical like it was a good foot higher. Bobbys love big jumps, even if they have to make them themselves. They came through a bunch more times before rolling the pole out to 18'. He started off a bit rushy the first few times, but eventually settled into a rhythm.

The final test was the pole becoming an X with a pole in front of that 9' out. BM had a pep talk with Bobby about not showing her how 18' can be bounced, and off they went. The first time through, Bobby jumped BM right out of the tack. Bobby was very impressed with himself and had a fancy prance lap around the ring while BM tried to stop laughing long enough to pull him up.

obviously in serious need of new media.

The moral of the story was: See how much better your jump is when you lift and use your shoulders instead of dragging yourself along on the forehand, Robert?

BM gave us a little bit of homework to do should I chose to attempt it. If not, there's a white PONY waiting in the wings.

Also, just because this is funny: Farrier stuck her head in to watch for a second and told me afterwards, "It's amazing that your horse can trot along so fancily, and yet his ears are still flopped to the side. It kind of ruins the affect." Ahh, Bobby. Some things just can't be fixed.

12 comments:

  1. I'm going to tell you something that my BFF told me. Whenever Bobby is bad, you have to BELIEVE that you have a SHITSTORM behind you. Your leg is like lightning. Your crop is a tornado. And let me tell you, my horse doesn't like shitstorms, and once I believed (and got him to believe) I was going RAIN DOWN HELL UPON HIM if he didn't do as I asked, things got a lot better. <3 <3 <3

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    1. Yes!! This was the mindset I was in when I got on. "If you give me one single dirty stop, I am going to make you regret that for the rest of your life, NOW GO FORTH AND JUMP THIS TINY X!!!!!!" And he was perfectly happy to just plunk along without a thought of stopping in his great big head.

      Now to KEEP that mindset!

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  2. I saw Jimmy Wofford in a clinic once work with a very hot horse who decided that jumping was his favorite thing in the whole wide world and would drag you to the fence. Basically he had the rider make a figure 8 in front of the jump so that every time time the hit the intersection of the two loops they would be headed in the direction of the jump. If the horse was quiet, they'd jump it and if not, they'd continue the figure 8. His theory behind it was that you made JUMPING the reward for quiet.

    ps. there are days when tiny x's like that seem like grand prix fences to me too!

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  3. I died when you called him Robert. I always vote pony. Small victories are great!

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  4. Love it! I feel like I need to try giving Tucker apple sauce now.

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  5. I was at the track with my trainer the other day and we walked up to a barn and a big bay with HUGE EARS was mugging me. I was like OMG ROBERT SISTER! Then we bought her. I'll send you pics. ;) I'm glad Robert is progressing, and I like your pony mind games. I really do.

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  6. This is my story:
    When I was a kid, I was terrified to jump big jumps. So I decided I wasn't allowed to be afraid to jump things I could jump over on my own two feet. This sometimes led to me getting off, having someone hold my pony, jumping the jump on foot, and getting on and jumping it on horseback.

    It was silly. But effective.

    Then I went to high school, and joined the Track and Field team. And we found out I had a talent for high jump. Like, a 6ft talent. (As in, jumping my own height++...)

    So. I kinda had to let go of that issue.

    This is not a story about how to be a better badass. This is a story about the lies we tell ourselves so that we can be awesome. And about how my particular lie was really dumb.

    Love how you guys are making Bobby think so much. Maybe if you make his brain muscles stronger his ears will stand up. ;)

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  7. OMG YES YES YASSSSS TO EVERYTHING TRACY SAID!! It won't let me comment directly on her comment, boo!

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  8. bad ass mindset for the win!! confidence is such a tricky illogical irrational bitch, and building it back up is ... ugh... so hard. definitely not insurmountable tho ;) one step at a time!

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  9. Liking where this is heading :)

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