Being a generally sarcastic, ill-tempered, intolerant person (Let's be friends--I'm so fun, I swear!), I'm the first to participate in horse shaming. Have you picked up on that in the blog yet?
My horse is fabulous. He's super talented, he puts up with a lot of mistakes, he's safe, he's sane, he's got a great jump, great scope, a gallop for days, and is capable of extreme fanciness on the flat.
But holy shit does he ever know how to act like an unschooled, attention deficient, rank asshole sometimes.
"not listening to your cruel words....or anything else."
Bobby obviously got Monday off, and then I got on for a planned light dressage ride today. The area we completely bombed in our dressage test Sunday was the walk work. We didn't score above a 5.5 on a single movement in that section, and we have never gotten a 5 or below on any movement ever in a test before. For shame.
So this week is going to be all about taking the time to get the walk quiet, connected, and without theatrics. Because llamas do not win the dressage. Especially not llamas that spook at the pile of jump fill that has been in the exact same spot in the ring for the past two months, then trip over their own feet because they're too busy staring at the BM putting hay in stalls, and finish by converting from a llama to a straight up full grown mutant giraffe when you try to get their attention back.
But I digress.
also working on surviving the nonstop rain and mud because lol we moved to seattle, not new york.
After a warm up on a loose rein, we got to slow motion work. The longer the rein Bobby's given, the better he does because that means all he has to do is trudge along with his nose poked out not actually doing anything. I shorten my reins in tiny increments, and we walk it out with an unrelenting leg on his sides until his nose stops pointing to the rafters. Praise, and then they get shortened a little bit more.
It's a long, boring process, but he's got to figure out that when I pick up my reins and add leg, it doesn't always mean go forth to the trot. Sometimes it just means get your sorry trailing ass under yourself and start walking, heifer.
I was able to run through 1-1 today, but we took a long, long break between the trot and canter work to walk around the ring until Bobby softened. Seriously the most boring training ever, but I refuse to lose easy points on what should be an easy section of the test.
Things could always be worse though. He doesn't take such offense to this sort of thing that I fear to get too close to the wall and lose a knee cap at least.
Unlike the last time we were at this show a couple years ago, we actually finished with a number and not a letter. Plus I rolled out of bed at 5 a.m. instead of 2 a.m., so we had basically already won for the day. Still not a fan of this state, but I'm not going to complain about all my shows being under an hour from home!
Dressage
Bobby never needs much time to warm up for dressage. Even when trying to cut down my time, I still seem to get on too early and end up wandering around and losing focus. So I made a point to stay parked in my chair until thirty minutes out from our ride time before getting dressed and tacked up.
cheesing instead of riding. fail.
We were left with about fifteen minutes to get warmed up, and after we got our bit checked and started trotting, I had a momentary panic attack that I'd made a big mistake. Right behind the dressage ring were two horses ripping around their paddock, and Bobby was intent on keep his head craned around to watch them.
Fortunately, the dude really has turned into an absolute horse show pro over the years and pretty quickly got down to work. He felt so quiet and relaxed that I really didn't do anything but let him coast around until the rider before us finished.
i look horrified. i was really just blinded by the sun.
I carried that mentality right into the ring and totally coasted through the entire test--and not in a good way. I never really got Bobby working up and through. Our transitions weren't sharp, all his walk movements were complete trash (not helped by a horse getting hacked down the road during our free walk--way more interesting than our test!), and the overall impression was just sloppy.
We ended up with a disappointing 37.0, but I can't expect anything better unless I actually put forth some effort and ride. The score dropped us all the way down to 9th in my division of 11, although we were actually only a few points off from the leaders (and would have been in fifth in the Open division). At least it was a wake up call, and I'll be sure to be a lot more aggressive and present in a few weeks for the next event.
Stadium
After walking the course the day before and watching several riders go the morning of, the course was not causing me any anxiety aside from it just being a stadium course and therefore the devil itself. The ring is huge, and the course was set so you could certainly whip around and put in some jumper turns, but there was plenty of room to make big, sweeping turns and go all the way out to the ropes and utilize the space to get yourself organized.
so handsome
Completely opposite of my dressage warm up, I got on with forty five minutes to spare before my stadium time. I figured if he felt quiet enough I could squeeze in earlier, and if not, we'd use every last minute get as much as the crazies out as needed.
brave riders without crippling anxiety issues don't bother with cross rails. aka we can fake it!
I attempted to go with the flow of traffic as we warmed up in the trot, but everyone started piling up right outside the ring so you could barely get past them. I almost witnessed a head on collision, and then Bobby started getting wound up about having to squeeze past milling horses, so I took him well away from everyone and let him have a good canter out in the open before sneaking back to get over some jumps.
trying to get in for my round was like getting through a fucking maze
I started Bobby off with the vertical a few times. I made sure his fucking head was unglued from his chest and he was moving forward before even turning in. As soon as he saw the jump, he started going up and down instead of forward, but I was proactive and stuck my spurs in him. I was able to keep him moving right along for the whole warm up, and feeling good about my mental state, I asked the ring steward if she could stick us in.
and here we go!
She put us down for three riders out, and two riders out I took Bobby away again and let him have a strong gallop around by himself to try to blow off some more steam. I planned it so that we came back to the ring right as the rider before me was finishing up, but in the mass chaos of everyone and their mother (and trainer, and friend, and friend's mother) milling around the ring, another rider went in on my turn. The ring steward apologized profusely because neither one of us could even get to the fucking gate to let the rider know she was still one out, so I ended up letting Bobby walk around while that rider went.
I don't know if that two minute loss of momentum affected him or what, but once we finally got in the ring, I was grateful for both my spurs and whip. Our round wasn't the best, but I am damn proud of how I rode my horse. I kept my leg on, actively rode the shit out of every fence, thought through all of my lines, and landed already moving on to the next fence.
offense rainbow fence
Bobby needed a lot of encouragement to keep moving forward, and our pace wasn't where it needed to be. The problem was fighting a double battle of trying to kick him on while also trying to get his mother fucking head up. The elevator helps more than a snaffle obviously, but it's still not giving me the extra help I need. I sit way up and half halt him to get his front end off the floor, and that ends up slowing him down, so I have to hurry to get him moving faster again, and it messes with our rhythm.
The struggle is real, guys. Throw some words of wisdom at me if you have any.
roll back
The only time I really let Bobby down was coming out of the two stride which he clobbered on the way out and took down a rail because boots mean you can slam your feet onto every pole ever, yay! We turned in to a rainbow plank oxer, and for whatever reason Bobby did not like the look of it. I felt him back off, halfheartedly closed my leg, but then gave up and let him skitter to the side. We re-approached, and I rode him right up and over it with no problems the second time so that was a win.
yay, we finished alive!
We ended on one rail (which was a bit of a surprise that's all it was, as he lived up to his reputation as the most abusive boot wearer on the planet and was feeling out poles left and right), one refusal, and some time for having to circle back around after the stop. But hot damn, we finished! And I wasn't in a state of complete mental retardation before or during our round!
Cross Country
Since we only live forty five minutes from the grounds now instead of three hours, Hubby and I drove down Saturday afternoon to walk the course with the hounds. I thought it looked totally doable. Great flow, fair questions for the level, and while the fences were mostly maxed out, Novice is quite frankly a bit of a snooze for us now when it comes to cross country so I was excited instead of terrified.
We haven't actually been over a cross country jump since September of last year, or been able to get up to speed over terrain since we moved in mid-April, but whatevs. No problem when you're on the most balling cross country lover ever.
Bobby was a handful at the start box. I could barely get my watch started, and he literally jumped out of the box once I turned him loose. We coasted right over the first three without so much as blinking, and then I brought him back to what was supposed to be a trot for fence four which had a monstrous downhill one stride out from landing.
good xc pics are lacking due to the layout of the course. sorry.
Bobby listened too well and actually strolled down to a walk. I managed to kick him over the big log anyway, and then we carefully picked our way down the hill. I think that confused Bobby a little, as you can see him glance back at me in the helmet cam like, "What the fuck is this?", but we went cowboying up the hill on the other side with a lot of momentum. That was ridiculously fun, and Bobby went flying over the log out.
He listened enough for the AB combination to get the bending line, didn't even blink at the big chevron hidden in the shadows, and went right through the water. He jumped the gravel fill over a couple of holes that had been filled in because he is an event horse, and event horses jump all the things.
snooze fest over the giant table.
I brought him back to the trot for the ditch since it was a downhill approach with a jump right after, and I wasn't sure he'd get his eye on it instead of the next jump, but he cantered over it without issue and carried on. Over the table, and then on to the bank combination. Up banks are easy. I hate down banks, but Bobby has never hesitated at one. This combo was an up bank, a couple strides, and then drop down over a little log.
I had every intention of bringing him back to the trot because down banks are terrifying, but while Bobby rocked back and slowed his canter down, he wouldn't trot and instead loped off the bank like he'd done it a million times and cantered off like, "Go 'Ho' yourself, crazy lady. I'm trying to run cross country here."
so skinny!
The last jump on course was this skinny double log stuffed in between two big, shady trees. Bobby came cantering up to it and was like, "There's no jump there, crazy bitch. I'm not jumping into a tree." But I was all, "Yah, yah! We are not having a run out on the very last jump!" Of course he went because he is the best at cross country.
not much room for error!
Optimum time was 5:43 and I stopped my watch at 5:40 having set it five seconds early. So even with our stroll down the hill and a brief trot to the ditch we still got the time easily. Bobby had caught his breath and was totally comfortable by the time we got back to the trailer, but I have to admit my legs were getting a little tired by the last couple of fences. I can't wait until we move barns and have some real trails to get back on again!
such a stud.
With our dressage score starting us off so low, and then running into problems in stadium, we weren't able to move up from ninth, but that rock star cross country round made up for it. Next time I'll be sure to ride my lady balls off in dressage, and hopefully I'll figure out something to do with Bobby's propensity to dive to the ground and/or attach his face to his chest during stadium.
Now here's your helmet cam fix for getting through that:
Last rides before our return to eventing are in the books.
Yesterday we did a dressage school where he started out pretty alright, turned into a raging asshole, and ended up in draw reins and working like a happy little pony pants. I was not in the mood for a fight so I slapped those puppies on, and we went back to being besties in two seconds flat.
I ran him through First 2 since that's the only test I could remember off the top of my head, and then finished up with the canter work from First 3. His shoulder was flying off to go visit friends back in PA when we picked up the canter at C and had to immediately go into a 15 meter circle (we were a passenger on the struggle bus for this same movement at the beginning of the season last year, too), but with Hulk-like leg power at A, that circle was much better.
his fly mask gives him the poofiest donald trump comb over look
Today I had planned on doing an intensive jump school with oxers and lines and all the jumps and poles I could get my badly-in-need-of-a-manicure hands on. I pulled into the barn and the outdoor was finally dragged. Perfect! I wasn't going to have to relocate any standards into the indoor!
Then I got out there and the footing was still super deep from all the rain.
look! i took my horse to the beach! lol jk that's just our arena.
I ended up with a 2'6" vertical on the short end and a crossrail. Look out, Novice. We're coming for you.
We trudged through a rather uninspiring warm up, puked over the jumps a few times, and then walked for awhile while I fought to get my head in the game. I cannot just let myself be okay with blah jumping anymore. Blah jumping will get us around clear because Bobby is the king of rocket powered launching from any distance and goes out of his way to keep the poles up, but I want good stadium rounds. Fuck this sloppy, cringe-worthy nonsense.
king of carrot stretches
Back we went to it. When leg wasn't getting Bobby cruising fast enough, I popped him once with my stick and we were finally in business. I went in with mentality to over-ride every jumping effort. If we took a flyer, fine. If we were going too fast for a crossrail, fine. As long as my horse's booty was along for the ride, we were fine.
Bobby finally got the hint and started moving up for the fences, and while the jump itself was probably too flat and fast, I know he'll actually pick his feet up for oxers with fill so I wasn't concerned.
It was far from the best jump preparation, but I think I'm feeling like I know the steps to put in a good round. I'll have spurs and Bobby's nut bag adrenaline to get him forward without much issue, but I'm going to make sure I don't just assume he's going forward enough and then splat into shit distances.
the puppy is ready for pony time
Now to fight back the feeling of dread that keeps creeping up for the next two days.... We will not fuck this up! We won't do it!
Pretty much the only good thing about all this rain and the massive temperature drop (It should be an actual crime that my horse was wearing a sheet for the first two days of June.) is that my allergies have gone back to nonexistent.
Yay! I can breathe! I have cognizance of where my body parts are and what they're doing!
more video stills! you're welcome.
Obvi this meant I had to get some jumps set up pronto. The whole not sucking over fences at a show will probably have a better chance of happening if I actually get my horse over some fences at home. I got to the barn Monday and the parking lots was full of vehicles which it never is. Remember how that's one of the reasons I'm moving? Because this place is a perpetual dead zone?
I was like, "Of course. The outdoor is an actual lake and now I won't be able to jump again because I have to share the arena and no one else jumps." But it turned out to just be a mother and daughter who had their horse out for the vet so the arena was mine to do with as I pleased once they were done with diagnostics.
dirty horse wearing clothes. why is he wearing clothes in june?!
I set up another one of my favorite grid-type exercises along with a one stride line of skinny flower boxes to warm up over. The main exercise was a 3' vertical and either three strides straight to a 2'3" (because the holes were FUBAR and wouldn't adjust any higher) vertical, or a three strides bending line to another 3' vertical. You could also come from the other direction and just do the smaller vertical straight to the bigger one.
I ran Bobby through a w/t/c warm up and sent him for the 2'3" jump on an angle off the rail to warm up on. The first time he threw in an extra stride and then just threw up over it because we were going so slow. We came around again, I put my leg on, and he jumped it fine.
Duh.
that's right. my horse looks like the smart one for once.
Then we moved on to the flower boxes. They're 4' long by maybe 18" tall with yellow flowers. Bobby's never had a problem with skinnies as he would rather jump than pretty much anything. Turned out to be a good thing as he yanked the reins right out of my hands after launching over the first box, but carried on to jump the second one all by himself.
Commitment? Not a problem. Rideability? Perhaps slightly lacking.
We worked on coming in quietly and halting immediately after, and once we got that done, I opened him up to work through the forward three strides of the verticals.
Going forward--way more forward than Bobby picks up naturally--is still something I have to actively remind myself of when jumping. I can feel the right pace now once we get it, but I tend to take the first jump or two from a crawl before being like, "Derp. Add leg and he jumps perfectly."
Go the second he picks up the canter, go through the turns, go on landing. Go, bitch! Go!
cookie monsters
He got Tuesday off. I went out in the afternoon to drop off his SmartPak, pull his sheet, and stuff handfuls of cookies down his throat.
Today, I set up the trending (I guess?) Lainey Ashker exercise, but as poles instead of jumps because lazy. I did it in my jump saddle and dressage bridle, and Bobby started off with zero difficulties from both the trot and canter each direction. As long as I focused on my track and not that we were going over poles, he pranced right through.
Then I dropped my stirrups, flatted for a bit, and decided to come back through at the canter stirrupless. Bobby was like, "FINALLY. We did the poles, now it's time for the jumping!" and got his stupid feet tangled as he tried to muddle his way through after leaping into the wheel. We had a little talk about that, so then Bobby was all, "FINE. I won't jump IN the poles, I'll jump ON them."
After which I just said fuck it, made him trot through once, and went on a trail ride.
One of my goals for May was to get Bobby back in the Dressage Diva groove. He's capable of being very fancy on the flat, but he's the type of horse where everything has to come together in perfect astrological symmetry to make it happen.
He has the attention span of a cracked out fruit fly when it comes to flatting, and the second I go to correct him and try to bring his focus back, he gets vastly offended which translates instantly into tension.
pushing for a big trot to loosen up one super tight back
Fortunately--I guess--he's a super easy horse to tell when he's cheating. Unless you're completely delusional with the feel of a cement block, there's no way to miss when he's just curling his head to his chest instead of really using himself, or when his back sinks six inches because OH MY GOD DON'T CORRECT HIM HE KNOWS EVERYTHING EVER.
What we've been working on is a steady connection with forward gaits and control of the shoulders.
Let me repeat that last part: Control of the shoulders.
there they are--thinking about flying off track
He's been doing beautifully when it comes to sitting down and pushing off with his hind end. He's soft in the bridle, he's happy to kick into that extra gear and give me a little more bounce per ounce, but sometimes he's like flying a kite.
Or not even really a kite, but more like his butt is an anchor and his shoulders are the boat up above on seas currently being wreaked with a Cat 5 hurricane getting blown all over the place.
It's the worst at the canter. I've actually had to occasionally revert to remedial school pony steering on a circle with a wide open inside rein because apparently my outside leg doesn't exist. His shoulders are just like, "Wheeeeeee!!! We're leeeaaavvingggg over heeerreeeeee!"
So to combat this issue, I've been making him do all three gaits in perpetual shoulder fore. It's helped tremendously, and the best part is that he takes zero offense to it. Good pony.
happy slobber horse lips
With our show this weekend where we'll be warming up next to the stadium course, I've been a little worried about tension in the dressage. It's the only thing dressage judges ever seem to pick up on during our tests--even when I feel like I'm riding a rabid llama that's about to bust out of the ring, as long as he's not tense and just excited, judges think Bobby is the best which I still think is the greatest mystery in the universe.
Sunday I had the chance to work on diffusing any tension. While some of you were melting in the heat like we were on Saturday (at 86*), the next day didn't get up past 45* and it poured all day. The horses got turned out briefly in the morning, but when I got to the barn they had just been brought in. Poor freshly clipped Bobby was soaking wet and freezing cold, and his back was like a vice.
mugging so hard for cookies.
He got his BOT pad put on, and then a long warm up totally in half seat. He was so sassy cantering. He kept doing his patented snake head while occasionally throwing in Bobby-sized bucks that didn't affect my balance while hovering over his back in the slightest. Once he got warmed up though, he went right to work.
after warm up, working on loosening that back even more.
If I have to warm him up in half seat at the show to chill him out for the test, I'm down with that. We're also entered in for the OTTB prizes, so I'm not going to lie and say I don't want to do really well this weekend. The more satin the better!
1. Select a May-June-July show schedule. May is over and done with, I went to the two shows I had planned, and all June entries are already sent in. I went back and forth a little bit about where I wanted to show in June, but finally just committed to both a dressage show (yay, ribbons for every test!) and the GVH horse trial. Fuck it. Who needs money?
2. Rediscover Bobby's dressage diva. Yes. He has not been even half as tense or obnoxious in recent rides, although we're still working on regular, every day training stuff. Post tomorrow.
3. Be a grown up and show by myself without dying.It was actually easier showing without Hubby this month instead of with him. Hubby's kind of a tightly wound guy, and even when he's "relaxing" he gives off crazy tense person vibes and gets you worked up without even trying. I did miss all the media though.
so much more attractive when there's another person around to stand him up
June Goals:
1. Make stadium our bitch. I was forced to rejoin USEA to actually get to a horse trial around here, so we have no leeway in being totally fucking retarded over wooden poles. No excuses. We are going to have good stadium rounds this month!
2. Show all three First tests without going off course. I'll be at the dressage show by myself (but paid for pictures already!), so that means no one there to hold my tests for me to check beforehand. Sounds like my phone will be going for a ride in my bra. Also, maybe I should ride them a few more times...
3. Get a handle on Bobby's feet. They're not bad, but every time I look at them I see another little something I can touch up. It's driving me crazy. I need a hoof stand so I can actually go to work on them without falling over and dying because my legs are so tired.
4. Sneak out of the barn without anyone noticing. I'm moving barns at the end of the month! Still need to tell my current BO.... still too creeped out by him to do it alone. Telling the BM instead isn't copping out, right?
this nasty, nappy, long hair is why robert has to get a summer clip
so he's all shiny and cool afterwards!
sadly the pink princess mask didn't hold up for long. i'll be keeping the extra diamonds for sure though.
weird squishy lump. do you see it? do you?? squish it!!
why my clippers weren't working, i guess it's a good excuse.
i asked my best former-barn bud sarah what variety of this new dog food she was feeding her dog so i could switch pig over. her answer? "chicken and...something else. the one with a corgi on it." sort of a corgi?
