Ride Times.

Dressage: 10:54

Stadium: 1:40

Xcountry: 1:50

I don't mind riding a little later since it means I get to sleep in more. Sleeeep, I love you. Of course we'll be getting up earlier than we need to since new barn means new directions to get down to Unionville, but hopefully we won't get too lost and have to call upon OnStar--the most useless direction finder ever.

"don't worry. i'll be on the lookout for wildlife
since you're too busy playing with the camera."

The ring was getting watered when I was done tacking up so I decided to go for a hack first and come back to school a little dressage when we were done. Once more, we were accosted by stupid turkeys as soon as we hit the first field. They went fluttering up around Bobby's big, dumb head but he just kept strolling along.

We did a few short canters and lots of walking instead of trotting because Bobby thought his trot should consist of bouncing my around in the most jarring way possible. Um, no thank you. On our way back, I happened to be looking down (I was making sure we didn't step on any branches in the tall grass, I wasn't just randomly staring at the ground--for once.) and saw a fawn curled up in the grass! Awwwwww.

must. resist. snuggling.

I finished off our ride with ten minutes of no stirrup work in the indoor. It's amazing how much better his downward transistions are when I'm actually sitting in the saddle instead of bracing against my stirrups. Hmm. Also, I am so crooked in the canter. How I didn't just slide right off the side, I don't know. Must. Force. Self. To. Pull. Stirrups.

Then I spent another hour at the barn doctoring the princess. He's going on a record one whole day with both bell boots on so amazingly I didn't have to do anything to his feet, but he has rain rot all over his hanuches and he came in with two new scrapes, one of which is huge and both of which are mysterious. He had his sheet on for turnout last night since it was raining and I didn't want his bum to get wet and there's not a mark on that. But somehow.....

He got a bath and a long soak with Microtek, then Blue Kote spritzed on various tiny cuts, Swat slathered over the big scrape, and MTG rubbed into his hindquarters. Anything else you'd like to do to yourself, Robert?

Break it down now.

I had a relatively fabulous ride today. A lot less drama llama-ing and a lot more cooperation. We spent the first fifteen minutes at the walk doing all sorts of fun things that got Mr Magee's wheels churning. Leg yields, walking straight down the quarter lines (so hard!), and a lot of counter bending in an attempt to straighten his sideways head out. I don't know what this sideways head thing is. We had a horse at school that flatted with his head literally stuck on sideways. He was one of our racehorses and he never did it when galloping, but anything slower and off to the side it would go. We never figured out what his issue was. We just assumed he was rolling the marbles around in his empty head.

deby doo! not the brightest tb on the track....

Anyway, the counter bend excerise that seemed to work the best was counter bend down the long sides and exaggerate the correct bend on the short sides. By the time we moved into the trot, I could give him a little half halt, shift my big booty, and ask him to bend in whatever direction I wanted anywhere in the arena I wanted. See? Sometimes walking is fun!

I worked him for another fifteen minutes, breaking down our dressage test into pieces and practicing them in various spots around the arena. Lots of trot to walk to free walk across the diagnol and back to walk and trot again. I reversed order for the trot to canter circles and started with the right, free walked across the diagnol, and did the trot to canter circles to the left and down the centerline from the left at C.

He still puts his periscope up every now and then, and he still gets quick when he gets flustered, but he is coming along soo well. If I can actually pull my head out of my ass long enough to participate in riding this Sunday, I think we'll actually go through a pretty nice test. Fingers crosssed!

Mixed success.

I started Bobby off in the indoor for a dressage school. I was initally very pleased with how forward he was walking around, and then we started trotting and the forwardness turned to rushing. I insisted he keep his head down and go like the semi-fancy pants he's been during our walking rides and that seemed to defuse the pulling more than anything. Give his silly brain something hard to work on, and suddenly speed trotting isn't quite as fun or easy to do. I also did a lot of trot-halt transitions with him and some sitting trot when he started to really cruise along like an ass.

Our main battle, though, was straightness. There are mirrors at the end of the arena so I worked off the quarter line to see if Bobby could walk and trot a straight line down each long side. He could not. At least not easily. At the walk he went decently, but at the trot he wanted to drift in towards the rail or when I started trying to help him out straighten him out, he'd snake his neck and twist his head so he was wobbling all over the place. I did some leg yields with him at the walk to get him listening to my leg a little more and we finally trotted straight down once with a little help from me before calling it quits.

He wasn't great by any means, but it was a good work out on his major weaknesses. Plus, he had foamier lips than he's ever had before when we were done!

We worked twenty minutes in the indoor and headed out to the trail to do some hill work. We ran into a ton of wildlife. The turkeys seemed to be celebrating the end of hunting season and were flapping around in the tall grass like total asses. The first field we got to, one of them flew up right in front of Bobby who had to half rear/pirouette to avoid getting hit by it. I yelled out some obscenities as it flopped away, but Bobby marched on. He's not easily phased by things running him over.

our galloping track needs a mow.

We also saw quite a few deer that meandered off when we got too close. In one of the fields, what looked like an old lady deer (she had grey all around her head) walked off as we got to her and waited in the hedgerow for us to pass. When we came back out to go home, she was grazing with two fawns. Too adorable. She never once raised her tail or went faster than a walk, totally unconcerned by Mr Magee.

old mama deer.

do you see her?

We did a ton of trot work. Bobby wasn't too amped and I had to boot him on when we started out, but he eventually settled into a groove and we finished off with a really good forty minute hack. I slathered on some SWAT over a cut at the very edge of his eye. No clue where he got it from, but I felt a little sick thinking that less than half an inch closer and it would have been on his eye. No, thank you.

Bobby +10, Carly -5,000

Alrighty, once again I have a few days of catching up to do. On Friday I had a million and a half things to do so I ran to the barn really quickly first thing and dropped off a check for the farrier with BO's promise she would get the scoop for me. New farrier was down with adding me to his client list (thankfully--farriers are such divas) and opted to put a new shoe on the LF with acrylic to cement it on there until he's due to get done. He said he didn't want to mess around with clips yet because he wanted to do a whole lot of work on Bobby's feet period  to "fix Other Farrier's mistakes". Ohhh-kay. Unfortunately, I'm totally cluess about feet so....anyone have any good hoof books they'd like to recommend? I think it's time I jumped on the learning train.

crappycamerapicturewhat.
acrylic on the lf.

Saturday I was all set for a good ride but I walked into the barn and found this:

he had hay dangling out of his mouth as well.

He was too sleepy to do anything. Including get up. He let me give him some scratches before having the lamest roll ever and passing back out. I organized all my stuff for our schooling before bribing the pony to get up with peppermints. However, all I did was give him a good grooming and stuck him back in to eat. He really probably should have been ridden, buuut Saturday was my birthday and I wanted to do fun birthday things!

We ended up not doing anything too crazy, but we ate so well. Steaks on the grill, corn on the cob, and homemade strawberry shortcake made with strawberries that Hubby got fresh from one of his customers. So delish.

Yesterday was Bobby's second xcountry schooling at Burgundy Hollow. Michelle forewarned us that she hadn't taken the hay off the fields yet so things were looking a little cray-cray, but since the paths for all the fences got mowed for May's show, it really wasn't bad at all.

personal groom and pro event horse.

We had a solid game plan going in: School the whole stadium course, walk down to the start box and give him some time to regroup like he'll have to at a show, and then school the whole BN course. Michelle had a left over course map from the last show so I studied it for about five seconds before tossing it in my tack box. Totally memorized. Riiight.

We got there a little early so while we were waiting, we took Robert down to introduce him to the water. He's done lots of cantering through enormous puddles before without paying them any attention, but he wasn't so sure about this. However, he was persuaded to get his toes wet when I lured him in with apple pieces.

We finally tacked up and as I was tightening my girth and zipping up my vest and buckling my helmet--you know, all things that should be done before I even get on--Bobby marched off and made the turn to the jumps through the hedgerow on his own.

We did a brief warm up in the stadium ring and without jumping a single warm up fence, went through the whole BN course. He had a rail at the second fence; from the video it looks like he just didn't get his knees up high enough. He thought that was a good enough excuse to jump even higher for the rest of the fences and didn't touch anything else. Now, I do have a video of the course, but it is possibly the most awful riding ever done by anyone ever. Seriously. Just horrible. Thank goodness Bobby was gung-ho to go because I was staring at the base of the fence every single jump, not releasing unless I was releasing way too much and letting my reins go flying through my fingers, and I did a very strange "lean way too far forward going over the jump before popping back up way too fast" sort of style. Paired with Bobby's over-jumping, it was just a hot mess all around. But we did do it and Bobby was pulling me to every single fence, so I'll take it for now.

what a good boy!

We headed down to the start box and Bobby totally had his swag on, ready to show off his new confident Important Event Horsie skilllz.

pig waiting with hubby as bobby and i walked around.

Bobby walked in and out of the box and around the waiting area totally chill. In fact, he didn't neigh or get tense about anything a single time even though he was all alone. We headed out at a canter and Bobby was ready to take names. He didn't think twice about a single jump. That's not to say he wasn't jumping like a greenie, but every one of those fences were bigger than anything he'd jumped before. First up was a big blonde colored log, then a blonde coop.

The third jump was a hay feeder before heading out through the hedgerow and angling right down a hill to the table (the N of which is featured in my header). I tried to convince Bobby we should trot this one since he'd never jumped downhill before, but he said "No, thank you" and went sailing over with me taking a very defensive backseat. It was a pretty good sized hill and after he landed going much faster than either of us wanted, he decided he'd listen to me and trotted the rest of the way down.


We crossed the road to get to the ditch which was really hard to see with the grass grown up so I tried to get him to walk up to it, but we sort of compromised with a rein-pulling trot. "Bobby, there's a ditch ahead!" "Alright." "No, really, Bobby! Ditch! DITCH!" "Alriiiiiight, lady! I fucking see it! Let's just go already!" We were supposed to turn left immediately after to stay on the BN track but I completely forgot that and made the three strides to the Novice (!) coop thingy with a flat top. Half coffin anyone? Since we were now off track, I just followed the Novice (!) path, jumping the N ladder and coming around the bend to a really cute N house combination. Bobby was locked on, but I was like, "Fuck no." and met back up with the BN track to head up the bank.

He skipped up the bank (he gets really pleased with himself when he goes up banks), did a BN log, detoured to the N log since there was a flag down in front of the BN one, opted for the bench on the Starter track instead of the oxer because I know Plantation has a bench, over the "grey rails", and to the water.

safely navigated past the pond monsters.

He did peter out to a stop at the water, but I gave him a poke with my spurs and he tip-toed in before agreeing to trot out and canter over the black rails. Finished off with a little coop uphill and came back to play in the water more.

"i iz jumping the jumpssss!!!"

He was a sweaty, but not overly so and he barely took a deep breath. Burgundy Hollow definitely matches Plantation in terrain so I'm glad he's not super out of shape, but we need to do some serious hill work because every time he landed downhill, he'd be so unbalanced he'd go careening off into a gallop and I had to really yank him back to some semblance of control. He goes out in a really steep paddock so I know he just needs work with my silly ass on his back.

Needless to say, Bobby was a total super star the whole day. I, however, have a ton of work to do. More two point work, jumping without reins, maybe some longe line work, and lots of hill work. I have got to stop pinching with my knees so I can keep my heel somewhat down, and I've got to get my friggin shoulders from trying to meet over my boobs. Regardless, I think we're going to be okay for next Sunday. I payed for Videos by Patrick to video our entire xcountry round and Plantation always had killer photogs there so be prepared for a fun media dump!

this moved in as i was wrapping bobby's legs to go home.

so. much. candy.

Jumping!

Ok, before we get into the excitement of a sound horse doing more than walking around in circles, I have to tell you all a funny story. BM has a big Aussie who is the dopiest dog on the planet. He's in love with Darcy and Emily though and he always gets so excited when they come to the barn with me. However, the girls have been on probation for the past week (imposed by me) for being very naughty the last time I brought them. Anyway, BM was talking to me while I was tacking Bobby up and Burton ambled in for some pets. BM asked him where his girlfriends were and he came hopping over to me barking. I had to tell him they weren't in the car so he wouldn't get to see them so he ran over to the phone on the wall, jumped up so his front feet were on either side of it, and barked at us. "Let's call the girls!" BM and I were hysterical. He must have made the connection that when the phone gets used, BO comes down with her dog so....phone = dogs appear! Poor Burtie. He's mentally challenged in such a smart way.

nom nom.

I was amazed to see that Bobby still had both his hoof boot and his bell boot on this morning, less a giant chunk where he tried to eat it off his foot. I tossed that one and found another one in BO's giant box of old bell boots that she gave me free range on. We'll see if this one lasts more than a day.

I took Bobby out to the outdoor since there was a lesson in the indoor and he was feeling awesome. I let him dictate what we wanted to do and he was totally go go go today. I warmed him up at the w/t/c for thirty minutes, then decided to test the hoof boot and pop him over a few jumps. The tire jump was at 2'3, the gate was at 2'6, and there was a 2' three stride vertical line.

Bobby beasted that shit. I didn't have to add any leg at all which was kind of nice because I could point him in the general direction of a fence and spend the time trying to fix my own position instead of worry about what he was doing. He did have one stop the first time I brought him to the line, but it was complete rider error. Apparently one of us is smart enough that when you get turned too soon and are face-to-face with the standard instead of the pole, you should probably press the abort button. Whoops. Sorry dude. Other than that, he was fabulous. We finished off with the gate which was set at angle off the rail and he killed it. So perfect. "I iz your Important Event Horsie and I iz jumping all the jumps!"

"i will be getting a cookie for this, right?"

The farrier that put his shoe on last week will be out tomorrow and after a talk with BO, I think I'm just going to switch to him permanately. He does a lot of corrective shoeing, and while Bobby doesn't necessarily need corrective work, he does need more than four plain shoes slapped on to fall off once (or twice) a week. He'll get clips on the front tomorrow and next time he's due he'll get quarter clips on the back too. Hopefully that will do the trick.

Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down.

Bobby got the thumbs up from the farrier yesterday to go back into full work, including jumping and trail riding. I rode him for thirty minutes in the indoor with a good canter to the right, and lots of good w/t work for the first twnety minutes. As we were cruising along totally content, I was thinking to myself, "Bobby has been so good lately. He's really do for a blow up."

Cue crazy cows.

There's a large herd of beefers across the road from the indoor and they were right up against the fence yesterday, mooing away to their hearts content. You might not think this is a big deal for a horse that was born and raised at an ag school and has been around cows for five out of his seven years of life, but you'd be wrong. Giraffe neck made its reapparance and we spent the rest of the ride working on getting his nose out of the clouds so we could finish on a semi-respectable note.

Today started off with a full load of laundry thrown into the washer because Oscar had peed on them, followed by a call to the vet to test for a UTI because Oscar is like a very tidy gay man and would never not use the litter box unless something was wrong. I got an appointment for him in the afteroon and headed to the barn early.

oscar hunting ants.

I swear I'm going to start going to the barn an nine at night so I don't have to be greeted by anyone. No one ever has good things to say to me when I get there. Today was from BM: "Your horse is still outside because he incited a riot this morning and got everyone running and no one would come down." Robert..... He's such a wild beast when he's turned out.

So I armed myself with crinkly wrapped peppermints and headed up to get him. As soon as he saw me come up the hill, he neighed and made his merry way to the gate, ready to be brought in. "Mom, that evil woman abandoned me out here and it's hot and buggy and I'm starving to death! What? No, I didn't do anything wrong!" Mm hmm.

Now, will it suprise any of you that when I led him out, he was head bobbing lame? No! Not by now, right? And I bet by now you're going, "His shoe was off, wasn't it?" Mother effer. Same shoe--LF. His bell boot experiment was short lived as he came in with only one the second day and none the third day. They're the double velcroed Proffessional Choice bell boots and he rips them off with his teeth. Because that is just too much fun.

However, BM scared me up a hoof boot and I tacked him up for yet another twenty minute walk. I pulled my stirrups off and rode the whole time without them. It wasn't very taxing, with the exception of my thirty seconds of two point work. "Is by bum actually out of the saddle?? Maybe? Ah, yes. There's the breeze. Two point achieved." His walk work was really great at least. I expect all 10s on walk movements next weekend. Or not.

The farrier that put his shoe back on last week is supposed to be coming out tomorrow so hopefully he can tack a new one back on. My farrier will be putting clips on next week regardless, mabye even by the end of the week if other farrier doesn't come out. This is ridiculous! It doesn't help that Mr Mouth thinks bell boots are more fun to toss in the air than actually wear.

To top it off, the poor Fat Cat does indeed have a UTI and will be having antibiotics shoved down his throat twice a day for the next two weeks. He will not be happy, and neither is the ole check book.

waiting for his test results.

Butt Ventilation.

With the hot weather starting up with a vengence, I've taken some time to sit down and plot how to best keep Mr Magee and myself cool. Bobby is a heavy sweater and I feel like I literally melt when it gets too hot and I don't have a pool or large water trough to lounge about in on hand. Before I share my tricks of the delicate flower trade, I'd like everyone to take a moment to acknowledge the name of this blog: Poor Woman Showing. There will be no fancy cooling sheets or shirts. There will be no ceiling sprinklers that mist deodorizing water upon my lovely helmeted head during rides. (Speaking of--yuck! did my gloves stink today!) This blog could just as easily be called "Good God, Carly! What are you wearing?!" or "That poor, poor horse that has to be outfitted by that slum lord." But that's one too many "that"s and no one likes a blasphemous blog title.

Moving on.

I've always been amazed by people who can ride in shorts.

no helmet? shame on me. but this was last year.

I've tried this methodolgy with very little success. Even with appropriately ghetto half chaps over tennis shoes in place, I still found myself getting rubbed a bit raw.

I've tried the not-deodorizing but heavily-misting rides.

gosh, i wish my muffin top was gone now...

 I don't mind riding in the rain, but there are three major problems with going this direction:

1) As if sweaty pants weren't bad enough to peel off your sweaty ass, now you have soaking wet sweaty pants to deal with.

2) Not all of us live in areas where it readily rains. I certainly don't. This isn't upstate NY anymore.

and 3) When you fall off, as you're sure to do....well, it's even worse than usual.

i love me a good mud bath.

You can take your trusty steed swimming.

afraid of water my ass.

Not all of us have trusty steeds or adequate swimming holes though. And it comes back to the soaking wet pants or riding in shorts again.

So where does this leave us? As far as ponies go, I'm a firm believer that there's no such thing as too much spraying in the face with the hose.

What's that? Your horse isn't a complete retard hose whore like the above dumb asses fine specimens? Well, start to convert them.

But what about my poor, melting self? Where does this leave me beside slightly wet from hose spray-back? Perfectly cool on my lower half because I dug out an old pair of jeans that has a very convienent hole for my derrier. It's not noticable when I'm standing as the back pocket scrunches down and hides it, nor is it visible when I'm sitting in the saddle. That is, unless, I'm in half seat or posting. Which is just fine by me because a) I have few inhibitions, and b) I hate peeling sweaty underwear off after the half hour ride home that follows a good (or bad) ride. Air flow, baby. Air flow.

So am I advocating putting a huge hole in your jeans for your riding pleasure?

Why, yes. Yes I am.