In case you're still wondering what the fuck I'm talking about, I coined this phrase this morning on a trail ride (fun!) while my horse was screaming his fool head off and his face was about two inches away from breaking my nose (decidedly unfun!).
To be used in a sentence: "Opie, you mother fucker, this is exceptionally UNFUN!"
|spotted: nothing. |
A VAST LAND OF HORSELESS NOTHING.
I wanted to clock a couple more hours towards my TIP trail riding goal but I didn't want to go through the hassle of trailering to the park so we marched off into the suburban wilderness instead. Opie's done this trail ride before last December, but it was with two other horses. This time he was alone. And not only was he alone, we left the barn so early that no other horses were outside yet.
So basically it was a post-apocalyptic wasteland where Opie was the only horse left alive (except for the one ancient swaybacked horse hanging out with a donkey that we porpoised by that doesn't count because neither creature so much as glanced at our majesty). He knows this because he spent the whole two hours sending out a distress signal that was never returned.
I do think this horse doesn't mind a trail ride. He's a little stud at the park, but he's been there enough now that it's old news. It's now a fun ride.
Trail riding down the road from your own safe house is, apparently, still new and therefore unfun. And unfortunately the only way to make the transition from one to the other is
Growing up is hard work, yo.
|it is pretty out this early though.|
Along the same lines of unfun and being alone in a horseless wasteland, Opie's first cross country jumps!
My barn has a bunch scattered around the property for the mini hunter paces they host, but the majority of them are located in the front field where Opie gets turned out. Normally I would count that as a plus since he goes out there every single day and is familiar with the area. But I know this little horse, and I know his little brain would instantly wonder only about where his BFF was.
Fortunately, last Friday I talked a barn mate into coming out with me for the first time on the other horse Opie and his BFF get turned out with. We walked to the top of the field to warm up, she went right, I went left, and she disappeared behind a large bush.
ALSO KNOWN AS THE BLACK HOLE OF DEATH ABANDONING OPIE IN THE HORSELESS FUCKING WASTELAND.
There was a large tantrum. There was a lot of air time. Someone got spanked. And then Momo trundled back into sight, spewed forth from the black hole like horsey magic, and Opie deigned to trot around like a deranged Saddlebred on 'roid rage for awhile until his brain finally settled back in his head.
angry cobra neck because angry
To his credit though, he was super for the three jumps we played over. I've only just started consistently cantering him over things because it's taken him awhile to be trusted to be held responsible for his own feet and staying upright, but he's starting to really get the hang of it. We trotted the first jump, trotted the hanging log the first time, then cantered over the coop and the other two jumps a couple times apiece without any issues.
He finds this stuff easy now that all that hard dressage work is settling in. Could he go out and do an Intro HT right now? Probably. Is that even remotely on my radar? No. So please don't suggest what a fun event horse he'd make. Eventing around here makes me angry.
|wondering if his bff magically got turned out while he was|
standing here. spoiler alter: bff still in the barn where we left him.
I want to keep jumping, and I want to keep trail riding, so I need to keep slogging through the unfun as it comes. Could he be worse? Of course. But he can always be better.