The Cost of 2021

My soul. 

The end.

(Links to previous years can be found here.)

Memberships: $568

I had high hopes for Second Level this year. Zero of them came to fruition. I also renewed my US Rider memberships after skipping it last year, but after talking to more people I won't be renewing it again.

Truck and Trailer: $402.19

Now technically we bought the truck this year, but I'm not including it in the price--not even monthly payments. I didn't get to use it until July, and after cramming my show season into six weeks I think I used it...twice? since then. I hate it. I don't want to acknowledge it. I hope it blows up in my driveway and gets written off as a total loss. 

Farrier: $660

One set of snow pads for the whole year was the only deviation in cost. Bless Farrier.

Tack and Equipment: $4,886.45

LOL whoops. I bought a new blanket, a new sheet, new tall boots, and a custom saddle (that I don't even have yet so jokes on me!). Also just lots of shit, let's be real. 

Supplements: $1,454,53

Nutrena Empower Boost and Dumor Relaxmor are his two times a day supplements. He was on Purina Outlast for about half the year, but I didn't think it was doing enough to justify the cost. This also includes two full months of UlcerGard.

Shows: $1,806.08

I didn't bother calculating how much of that is donations to shows that I didn't get to attend. I don't want to know. 

Lessons: $440

I tried this year. I tried my ass off to get the flying changes. It didn't work.

Board: $1,530

This is the number I remind myself of every time I don't want to keep working board off.

Vet: $3,236.45

Putting a stick in his leg was very expensive. Weekly PEMF also adds up. 

Total: $13,177.62

I think this was one of our most expensive years yet. Definitely going to try to curb that shit next year. 

2021 Year in Review

January

I went in swinging trying to get a hold of the changes. I took one lesson after another, I had BM do a training ride on him, we tried this, that, and the other thing and nothing stuck with him.

February

More work on the changes. Not much progress. Added in some jump schools and a couple snow rides.

March

We did some hacking and jumping and were able to get a lesson with TH where she worked us through the TOHs. I had the vet out to do a thorough lameness exam to see if we could rule out physical issues with the flying change drama. She found no lameness issues, but did point out he was sore on the right side of his back, had a crooked pelvis, and was generally just an anxious rage monster. She suggested chiro and a saddle fitter. While I tried to organize those things, I brought the work level down and focused on relaxation and zen for the remainder of the month. We finished the month with the barn's jumper night and brought home ribbons in all three of our rounds. 

April

I diligently got the saddle fitter and chiro out for Opie. The saddle fitter agreed my County was no longer a good shape for Opie and gave us a loaner while she hunted down something she thought would fit the both of us. Opie immediately improved with the change. The chiro agreed his pelvis was out of whack, but that it might be a permanent thing with him, and the best thing was to just try to keep his hind end limber.

Opie got put in flying change boot camp with one lesson after another as we tried to break his spirit and get him to relax himself when the subject was broached. By the end of the month he was able to give them without drama, but not reliably right off the bat. The month ended with my truck's engine shitting the bed in its first hauling job and going back to the dealer to get "fixed".

May

The counter canter needed some fixing for the first show of the season at 2-2 and 2-3, but fortunately that was accomplished after only a couple rides. I still didn't have my truck, but Hubby hauled us out to the show in his company truck. We scored a 64% for 2-2 and a 58% for 2-3 with a slug of a horse that wouldn't move off my leg. We had some good rides, but by the end of the month Opie's tension was starting to ratchet up to Next Level.

June

We went xc schooling in the beginning of the month with the hopes that it would be something fun that would reset Opie's brain. Instead he was full of rage, I had my first ever fall off of him, and wrapped up the ride by having to have a barn mate come chase us down and hold on to him just so I could get off because he wouldn't stop running backwards. 

We attempted to do our first recognized show while borrowing BM's truck, but Opie was such a hot mess express that I scratched the entire weekend after one test. The obscene tension and anger got worse and worse as the month went on. We pulled blood for a Lyme test feeling like for sure that was the cause of the problem. 

July

Opie's Lyme test came back so negative that the vet didn't want to bother doing any sort of treatment geared toward that. Instead I decided to treat for ulcers. I also had the fitter back out. Opie had outgrown the current loaner saddle and got fitted with a new one while we still waited for our custom saddle to be delivered. We had an off property jump lesson in preparation for a HT we'd signed up for that actually went really well, did a hunter pace that also went well, and ran through BN A at a mock-show. The HT itself unsurprisingly got rained out and cancelled. 

All these adventures meant my truck was finally fucking back after two new engines being put in it, and we closed out the month back at a recognized dressage show. The ulcer treatment was doing its job and I had a much more relaxed, sane horse under me finally. The tests went alright--tight and therefor slow in the lateral work with a couple mistakes sprinkled throughout, but definitely a turnaround for the shit storm that was the beginning of the season. 

August

We did a xc school at the beginning of the month that went really well. Started back work on the changes--clean, but launching into the fucking sky. A GMO show where it was too hot to function (just ask Opie) under my least favorite judge on the planet killed my will to show dressage when it was already teetering on the brink. Unfortunately, we had to keep plugging away and headed down to PA for another schooling show. I focused on getting him relaxed above all else--which worked in the sense that he was relaxed...and had nothing else.

We attempted a HT where we won the dressage, but Opie and his BFF decided they were suddenly completely incapable of being separated and they both lost their ever loving shit. His BFF ditched his rider after the second jump on xc, and I retired halfway through the course because I didn't have his attention for a single millisecond. 

The last hurrah of the month was a recognized show at 2-3 and our Third Level debut! Historically this show has been a giant cluster fuck for us one way or another, and this time around it was soul sucking hot and humid out, but we powered through and won our 2-3 test with a score that closed out our Second Level rider achievement award and qualified us for our GMO's year end awards. Plus even though 3-1 was sloppy and not up to the level's standards (which I knew it was going to be going in), it got done and I'm proud of that regardless.

September

We wrapped up show season with one last GMO show of the year where I felt like we did our best Second Level test ever...and promptly got the worst score of this horse's life. Gotta love schooling show judges. I went on vacation for a week after that, and when I came back we got to work on the basics. Lots of hacking out, stretching, some jumpies, and a refresher ride on "w/t/c is a thing you do so let's not with the drama".

October

Audited a Janet Foy clinic, did a hunter show, hacked out lots, and got back to work on the changes. That last bit was a violent, horrible shit show. 

November

Opie put a stick through his leg to start the month and spent the majority of November healing from that.

December

Opie went back to work which meant back to flying change hell. We got our loaner saddle switched out for something that theoretically fit better for him after he came up back sore, but it immediately made things way worse and now we're closing out the month pounding him with PEMF, Bute, and time off interspersed with longeing to try to get him feeling better--and in turn capable of carrying himself straight and correct and therefor theoretically capable of clean changes.

2021 Goal Review and 2022 Goals

Wow, that felt weird typing out 2022. How are we already there? Why do we live in fake time?

2021 Goals:

1. Have an acceptable, clean flying change each way. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
2. Ride the lateral work forward. No. Especially not during tests because TENSION.
3. Canter half pass. Didn't even make it on the radar.
4. Carry my hands. As in, in the air. Not with my lap. Fuck yes, this is A Thing I do now!

What the fuck were these goals?! What sort of overly optimistic person that has never sat on my horse wrote them? I literally LOLed when I read them. #nah

2022 Goals

1. Have an acceptable, clean flying change each way. I am a glutton for punishment. But after nearly two years surely it's time?
2. Figure out the dressage saddle situation. Ideally our custom saddle is going to be a unicorn, but with the way this process has gone so far that seems unlikely.
3. Get off property for trail riding more.
4. Keep the weight and topline on during show/summer season. The monthly confo shots are so useful to look back on because he consistently gets a little ribby during the summer. They have "grass" in their field and choose to "eat" that instead of their hay, except it's just nubbins with zero nutritional value so they all drop weight. On top of that are the stressors from showing nonstop. Ulcergard is going to be a preventative used often in 2022, and probably hay pellets as well. 

Observations

Monday was an exceptionally demoralizing ride. On Saturday I rode in the new loaner dressage saddle for the first time. I really wanted to make sure I wasn't letting anything slip in the straightness department which meant we spent the majority of the ride at the walk. One million square turns later, I let him go into the trot to do the same thing, and then onto the canter where I had to keep his haunches pushed straight underneath him, but the resulting canter was some of the best he's done.

Observations from that ride are that I definitely let too much slide. It took way too long to get him to walk in a straight line, and he's quick to push his shoulders out against my leg that's asking him to step them over and then turn instead of immediately stepping over with them. He also likes to use speed as an evasion, and brace when I shut the speed down which causes me to want to pull so then he pulls and now we've conveniently forgotten about the straightness again.

i let k's daughter cool him out when we were done

He had Sunday off. Monday I very much wanted to channel the straightness work into the changes. I feel like his biggest hang up physically (certainly not mentally, that's a whole separate obstacle) is that he gets so crooked the second he comes off the rail that it's a crap shoot if he'll actually get the change. But then of course I have to get him to not anticipate so that I can actually get his body straight without him flinging himself around fake changing just because I shifted my leg or seat.

My idea for this was instead of giving him the diagonal to do them on, try them on a serpentine type line. I felt like this would give me a shorter distance for him to overthink things, and it would be carrying over my square turns, straight line work we were drilling at the walk.

That didn't work. I couldn't get him straight at the canter down the long side, and when I tried he would swap leads and/or lose his shit any time I put my leg on to try to manipulate his body. Shit blew up, it was awful, I couldn't get him to settle, etc etc. We finished in a mincy little shitty sitting trot doing straight lines across the arena over and over and over until he could turn off the rail without rearing and change the bend without running backwards.

before

after

I'm trying to pull the positives out of what would otherwise be a write off ride. I really nailed down what's going wrong in the TOH after banging my head against the wall with them for two years--on top of the shoulders pushing against the way I'm asking them to move, he also steps out with the hind leg when I ask him to turn which causes him to cross over behind because otherwise he'd fall over. So making sure he's super engaged and collected ("shorten the stride in walk") to keep his hind legs close together and under himself is essential. 

And secondly I crossed the new saddle off the list right away.

It sucks to ride in, and I have to imagine that at least some of the next level tantrum Opie threw came from not liking it either. He had a giant dry spot under where we shimmed his Mattes and I imagine it was pinching there. The bumps on his back got angrier instead of smaller with only two rides in this. So. No. Out the door. I emailed the fitter and she said he might have some coming in that would work for us, but I think at this point it's going to be the jump saddle or nothing.

Yesterday I worked him on the line with the sliding reins attached to a surcingle and just let him move out and stretch and work out any tightness. I gave him a thorough massage after and then he got a targeted PEMF session on his back in the afternoon. She agreed his was worse than usual with the left side being more reactive than the right--likely from the left side doing all the work while the right side fucks around not wanting to do its job.

I was able to pull some useful things out of the shittery, but I do wish I could see some positive progress as a return on what I'm putting in. I'm giving a mile, Opie. Would it kill you to give an inch?

Goings On

Opie has been up to a lot.

After his last PEMF session I got on him and could not produce a change to save his life. I tried all the tricks, but he was adamant about not giving my anything and a giant lesson was about to start so I ended up having to give it up.

The next day I put him back in the double, got him super loosened up, and then let him get moving in the canter. Across the diagonal the easier way--left to right--and he popped over albeit a fraction late behind.

But relaxed and willing so I let it go.

My friend's horse got an abscess right before she was supposed to ride with an outside trainer (MB) coming in to teach on Sunday so I offered her up Opie. She's ridden him once before and the trainer was someone I know. I warned them that he wants to be crooked and he's sneaky about it, but the best tell if you've got him straight is if he actually puts his head down and goes to work. MB kept her on he about it which was good. He didn't do anything fancy, but he wasn't being asked to and he didn't do anything wrong either aside from getting super tense. This rider is known for having both an electric and blocking seat and he wasn't too happy with it. MB ended with them by themselves trying to get him to stretch. She was like, "This isn't the type of horse that you can just chuck the reins at and he'll let go." And I was like, "Ehh, no, he's exactly that horse. He'd live in stretch if he could. He's just angry."

He got a day off after that and then I set up a fun jump jump course for the first time in forever!

But turns out first I had to fix him on the flat because he was like a solid block of speeding wood. Lots of insisting on bending and halt, rein back, trot transitions had him feeling soft and quiet again.

We started the jumpies with three trot poles to the big X. Cantered off and came around to the single skinny on the other long side. Two stride across the diagonal, trotted the gate first to make sure he wasn't going to take offense to the Christmas decorations, and then got ready to go coursing. 

We did the little gymnastics and when we landed made a "bending" line to the two stride. It was more like jumping the first jump into the line kind of wonky to be straight to the second but Opie was game and handled it just fine each time. Turn right and over the gate and then cut across the ring to finish over the skinny.

He was good for all of it. Everything was super small as it should have been for his first time back and level of fitness so he mostly did a big canter stride over everything. I could tell when he started to get tired because he started getting quick and a little strung out. 

Up next was an appointment with the saddle fitter. Not to fit our own custom saddle of course. It was a maybe for the 7th, but now it's a hopefully by January. So, ya know, hopefully by the time show season starts? The current loaner was causing bumps on his back again so something had to be done there. Unfortunately the fitter quickly pointed out more than just the bumps--he also has a ridge running on the left side of his spine probably from him dropping the right side of his back and pulling the saddle against himself. 

I'm so frustrated about this because I try so hard to make him straight because I know how he likes to get crooked specifically by dropping his right back. Like what else do you need me to do for you, bro?? The fitter decided no more of this loaner and brought in an Arena to try. We shimmed up the front right of his Mattes and I got on to make sure I could tolerate it. We agreed that at this point nothing stock is going to fit the both of us or I would own it--hence why we went custom. Obviously Opie is the priority and the saddle fit him well despite it being pretty shit for me. 

I'll get the massage gun out for his back between PEMF and keep trying to figure out keeping his back even and upright and go from there.

Back to work

And just in time because someone got FAT being parked in front of his hay net doing zero work for nearly three weeks. 

I started him back under saddle just over a week ago. Lots of walking and a few laps of trot. The first ride he felt fine if crooked and drunk AF as he always does when he gets any time off. The ride after that however I thought he felt maybe lame in the trot? I couldn't tell if it was because he was splatted on his forehand and being lazy, or if he was actually unsound. Fortunately his PEMF worker had finally recovered from her sickness and was able to work on him. Next ride? Definitely sound!

While he's a big fat fatty, he is trained and all the hacking out and stretching work we did before he put a hole in his leg means he's ready to go. Taking it slow and building the fitness back, but step right back where we left off to be sure.

That meant that yesterday I asked for his first flying change. Farrier's German Shepherd was being annoying and weaving in front of us left and ride, but I think it ended up helping us out in the end because as we came across the diagonal Opie was distracted trying to avoid the dog and didn't get the chance to get worked up. I asked for the change and he grunted and hefted his ass over clean as could be first try. I gave him mega praise and didn't touch the canter again.

Today I put him in the double. As we've been doing for warm up, lots and lots of lateral work all over the place. Hit the half passes in trot today as well and he remembered that he does know how to do them easy peasy. Good w/t work done, into the canter.

We started left to right since that's his easier direction until he decides it's not. Bam, clean change first ask. 

Right to left he kept trying to skip through with a trot step until I made sure to keep him coming, and then he was late behind the first ask. No problem, turn right back around and do it again. Bam, clean change.

For the first time I feel like he actually knows what the question is and what the answer is supposed to be. Is he going to be lazy and kind of a rage monster still? Probably. But it really is like he's understanding a flying change. GOD FUCKING BLESS.

After a nice long strechy break we did a bunch of trot work--circles and serpentines while doing transitions within the gait. From there I asked him back into the canter, made a 20m circle, and then across the diagonal right to left. He didn't change behind and when I stopped him to turn around he got his tongue flapping and thought about getting upset, but I talked him off the ledge and sent him right back across. Aaaand bam, clean change!

The best part is he's not losing his shit with them. No bolting, no launching skyward, no refusing to move. I don't know if it's because he's feeling more confident with them, or if we're just taking a break from those dramatics, but hopefully it's the former not the latter. 

Two Weeks Recovery

It's crazy to think that it's only been two weeks between when Opie first injured himself--likely with a stick while in turnout creating a nice deep puncture hole in his RF just above the ankle--and today when I finally let him go outside without a bandage or direct supervision from myself first. Kinda felt like it was never going to get there a couple times, and it's definitely felt more like two months at this point.

Other than the wound, the big thing I was concerned about was how he was going to handle stall rest. Attempting it absolutely broke his brain when he hurt his LH last fall, and I was not looking forward to trying to manage a horse climbing the walls and screaming his brain off 24/7 when he simply could not go outside anywhere because of the mud. Fortunately this turned out to not be a thing. He was on a low dose of trazadone the first few days, and then over the first weekend there were horses in for one reason or another to keep him company. And then on Monday the ground had dried enough and the weather was so beautiful that he got to go out with a light bandage Monday through Wednesday--up to his recheck.

The wound looked okay up to the recheck. It was healing puckering out and draining nonstop which I didn't love, but he'd been completely sound and zero signs of fever or discomfort. The vet was alright with the progress, but agreed she didn't like to see how much it was still draining. Our date for looking better was Monday, and if it hadn't stopped draining at that point the vet would need to come back out again.

So we went from holding steady to wtf is going on in one day. Thursday night the feeder let me know he wasn't touching his grain but was eating his hay. Eventually he did get the grain eaten that night. I figured ulcers because he'd been on so much banamine so I grabbed a tube on my way to the barn Friday morning where the feeder told me he'd taken forever to eat his grain again and was just generally acting weird.

He was back on stall rest thanks to more nonstop rain, but he wasn't even worried about being alone which by itself was weird. Saturday he was the same--eating his hay great, but checked out of his surroundings and not interested in his grain or even treats.

Sunday the feeder texted me that he had a big lump on one side of his neck.

sunday morning

monday morning

I pulled a tick off on the opposite side, but I didn't see anything that would cause the swelling on the left side. His wound was also looking super oozy and gross and there was some swelling down the back of his pastern again. Those two things weren't great, but the most concerning was his attitude. There was no Opie in there. You could have set a bomb off next to his head and he wouldn't have flinched. His attitude along with the swelling in his leg made me call the emergency vet out.

She did an ultrasound to check for something going on in the tendon sheath and found one spot along the back of a suspensory where she couldn't decide if it had anything to do with the injury or if it was an old injury from when he was on the track. Since he's 100% sound she felt like it was probably the latter but noted it for future reference. 

She had no idea what was going on with his neck, and recommended upping the ulcergard so we could restart him on some banamine. She pulled blood in case those two things didn't change his attitude by the next morning.

She left and I got him all squared away and headed home to thaw out. As soon as I got home my phone starting blowing up. BM's horse was down with colic, BM was out of town, and they couldn't get him up. I turned back around and did what I could to help get her horse comfortable and squared away with someone. Unfortunately that evening the vet had to come back out to euthanize. Worst Sunday ever? Yeah, for sure.

Monday Opie was back to being his angry self. His leg really liked getting some Tri-Care love, and while his neck lump had doubled in size it was no longer painful.

Tuesday I got on him for the first time--bareback and walking only for thirty minutes.

And on Wednesday the leg was finally scabby and crusty enough that I left it naked, gave it a good spritz of Alushield, and let him go outside even with the mud. Terrifying!!!! But he was so happy.

I brought him back in around three so I could make sure being out hadn't caused anything to explode, but even in the deepest mud it didn't even reach the wound.

I scrubbed his legs clean anyway, gave him another smear of Tri-Care, and left the Alushield out for the morning feeder to give him a refresher spritz before he went out. He has a fresh box of Ulcergard to work his way through and finished off his fourteenth day of SMZs yesterday. Hopefully everything is smooth sailing from here on out!