An end to that chapter

Two weeks ago I parted ways with DL. There were many varied reasons.

Emotionally: Driving home from the last lesson I ended up taking with her, I was in tears because I felt like Opie is too complicated of a horse and I'm never going to be able to be a good enough rider to correctly figure him out. I was struggling with, "Do I sell him to find something easier? Do I change disciplines? Do I settle with the fact that we're never going to be successful at Third level? Because clearly I'm not fixable enough to get on a difficult horse's level."

I asked Opie's bodyworker AV (who is obviously also a friend) to come out and just get on him for me to give me her opinion. Does he really suck that much? Do I suck that much? Is it my fault, his, what's your read on the situation basically. She agreed, but had me come over and watch her lesson with another local trainer beforehand. 

A lot of what SG (her trainer) said during her lesson was similiar to what DL taught in mine. Leg yielding on a circle, palms up to bring the elbows in, sit in the saddle, etc. But the delivery was so much more positive and upbeat, like SG was riding along with you every stride. 

AV's take on Opie was that he's more trained than her own horse who she's had for 10+ years, has worked with a trainer with the majority of that time, and just finished out her Bronze on. Which, like, he really is. But her horse goes around on the contact as steady as they as they come and AV is a beautiful rider which is a big part of the picture, especially for showing. When she was done, she told me I needed to give myself a lot more credit because Opie is trained. He's super sensitive to the seat, and he does literally all the things he needs up to this level (minus sane changes...more on that later). She did think I should try out different bits because she felt like his mouth/jaw was the only area where she was feeling tension.

After watching her lesson, talking through her ride on Opie with her, and a lot of thinking for a few days, the big emotional conclusion I came to was: If my trainer makes me feel like I have to sell my horse to be able to ride--and even then....ehhh, you're a mess--that's probably not the right trainer for me. Especially when I have already taken him successfully through Second all by myself.

Professionally: Practically speaking, too, there was the issue of the earliest any lesson of mine ever started was twenty minutes late. DL would change my start time to accommodate things she needed to get done, which in theory was fine. I'm lucky enough to have a very flexible schedule so I could arrive whenever she told me, but we'd never actually start at that time. She taught a lesson before me that would drag into mine for sometimes 30+ minutes. Most of the time she'd give me the full 45 minutes to an hour once we did start, but the last lesson she left me hanging having accomplished absolutely nothing because she had a doctor's appointment to get to. 

Show Goals: Watching SG teach, everything was tying into what AV's goals were. You need these scores for this program? You want to try this test by the end of the year, and this one next season? Bam bam bam here's how we're going to accomplish that--with really good training and exercises, but they're aimed at test riding. That was never the case with DL, and it's something I went in really, really wanting. Of course I want to be a better rider, but I crave a tangible goal and I like showing. I also don't really care about scores aside from getting the coveted 60%. My idea of a successful show is a couple of those and rides I'm happy with. It felt like DL only wanted you in the ring if you were riding around like an Olympian. (Which, as an aside, is funny because I finally dug up her USDF lifetime score record. Dismal. Certainly shouldn't be discouraging people to get in the ring and try the thing.) Now I feel like I've blown an entire show season getting mind fucked by my trainer.

In the end, I do feel like I'm taking a lot away from my time with her. She did give me plenty of exercises to work through problems, and I feel like I needed that refresher kick in the ass of weekly eyes on me, but the past two weeks of not lessoning have been amazing. Both Opie and I are so much more relaxed in the work at our own pace. 

I've been riding in the double a little bit while waiting for some new snaffle bits to try, and I remembered how good he is in it. We've been working on the changes by asking for them down the long side out of the counter canter. Having the wall there kind of holding his proverbial hand has been super helpful and he's been so quiet with them. I'd call the R-L confirmed and the L-R a bit late behind, but unflustered while we work through it. I'm even able to canter him across the diagonal, give a half halt when he tenses anticipating a change, and have him actually half halt and carry on waiting for me to ask something. 

Mentally we're where we need to be right now. I don't think he's a lock for that 60% at 3-1 yet which pretty much erases what's left of the season unfortunately, but oh well. Live and learn. I'd like to lesson with SG myself but she's very expensive and not in the budget right now. So we'll go back to carrying on by ourselves for the foreseeable future, and hopefully by next year I'll have a better plan in place for our Bronze.

Sit down. Again.

I sent DL our test video so we could go over it at my lesson on Friday. She asked what I thought first. He was predictably distracted, the entirety of the canter work was a write-off, I feel we can do better, but overall it went about how I expected: meh.

Her leading thought was that I never stood a chance. He went in with his back hollowed out, and where most horses would have maybe halted like a fool once you put them to work they would go to work. Which Opie did not. Once. She also pointed out that I never really SAT in the saddle which is something that even when I feel like I'm sunk into him it's not enough. Watching the test again, agreed though. Really kind of frustrating I'm still such a bad rider, but what are you going to do except keep on trying, right?

The lesson turned out to be a "Fuck you, Opie, DO WORK" lesson which was amazing on my end lol. After not getting off my leg for shit, she put us on a circle and asked for leg yield out. Opie was deaf to all aids so DL went and got a pair of roweled spurs to swap out my swan neck spurs with. They were short shanks, but as she was swapping them out she held up my 2" shanks and waved them in front of Opie saying, "We can always put rowels on the end of these!" Might be time to sharpen up, good sir.

Back to the circle we went. First ask with the calf, and if when he didn't respond, stabby stabby with the rowels, and then hang the leg. Repeat, repeat, repeat because he's inherently lazy AF, but finally it clicked in his head that if he just moved off my calf he wouldn't get stabbed. He was much better tracking right than left because the LH does not like doing work ever. Meanwhile I got complimented on the best sitting trot I'd ever done, so at least someone was carrying the weight!

We finished up in the canter. I told her he was better super round and collected and letting him out from there so we worked on collection while she also drilled me on SITTING IN THE SADDLE. Ughhhhhh SO HARD to do without shutting him down.

We chatted at the end and I told her I felt like my hip flexors were again so tight and sore, and she said it was because I wasn't sitting broad across my seat bones so to balance myself I'm using my hips/inner thighs. Make my leg long, sit on my seat, use my core, and my hip flexors won't be screaming. Mind. Blown. Such a good visual for me.

Saturday he had off, and then Sunday we went for a trail ride with Farrier and puppies at a new to us place. Walk only because puppies, but lots of walking and a good mental break for the both of us.

Today I wanted to jump and there was a course set up in the outdoor. I put everything up a couple holes (from the elevated ground poles that they were) and made sure to get him super in front of my leg on the flat. That included a couple taps with the jumping bat which made his slightly pissed which led to him being rabid the first few attempts at jumping. We did every jump as singles doing: jump, land, pulley rein to halt, repeat. That go through to him that we don't just throw our head and blindly run at jumps with no plan and we were able to finish on a nice course.

Back to dressage land tomorrow!

GVRDC Twilight Dressage

Our prep for this "show" was less than satisfactory. I somehow broke the canter last week--I couldn't get him on the bit for the upward transitions, or get him to come round until the very end of the ride after a ton of work--and even in our lesson we didn't get far on fixing it. DL is trying to change my seat. She wants me to not be so tight in my hips which usually leads to inadvertently blocking, and she wants me to deepen my seat. My hips need to move for sure, but Opie it not feeling the sitting deep thing. It instantly shuts him down. So I'm trying to figure out a compromise there.

I worked hard at the canter over the weekend, really pushing him to use himself and sit down so the 10m circles were possible. It worked in that it made him feel better in the changes, but everything still just felt like it was coming up hot and fast and mildly out of control.

We took a barn mate with us to the show. They were scheduled to ride right around the same time as us, just in the other ring which was in a far away field partially hidden by a hedgerow. They kept on walking while we stayed to start warm up. This naturally upset Opie greatly, even though there were several other horses warming up with us.

I gave us thirty minutes of warm up, and all of it was spent getting him to relax. A lot of walking until he asked to pick up the trot on the own, and then lots of big circles and changes of direction until he could un-gumby his neck and take a breath. Some canter that wasn't great but at least under control, more walking while I tried to sneak in some SI, HI, and half pass--none with much success. I remembered to do a couple TOH right before we went in, and he did feel like he took a breath so I was hopeful.

Then we went around the ring, Opie caught sight of the other horses in the field next to our ring, and up came the periscope and away went any relaxation we'd achieved.

The test could have been worse. For the first outing of the season, at a very distracting venue, doing a level he's still super green to, it wasn't awful.

The judge was one of those judges that wants everyone to have a very positive schooling show experience and her scores are always way overinflated. So we got tons of 7s for things that should not have scored that well, but her comments were super and that's what I'm always here for. 

extended walk: "inconsistent contact"
LOL at least she didn't comment on the side eye

There were some good moments. Like his SI is miles above where it was at Second and it's even better with DL so that score can go up, and his medium and extended trots are getting really good for him.

It scored a 62% which on paper should make me think we're ready for Houghton, but nah. It's still too sloppy on both our ends for that much money. Instead we're going to stick with these shows and maybe get wild and do a couple of our GMO's shows. I do think mileage is going to be good for both us. We do better by doing.

This morning I was like, "Ughhh I don't really want to ride but we need to fix the canter and the half pass there's work to do!!" Fortunately a barn mate saved me by coming super early, helped me finish turnout, and then went on a trail ride with me.

opie converted another one to splashing. he loves
when he finally gets them to play with him.

The trail ride was super relaxing, he got to have a splash party, and then we went to the outdoor. Some long and low trot with poles thrown in, and then I got him low and super deep in the canter while in half seat and did the (simple) pole exercises a bunch of times. His canter was lovely and soft with his back up and a big step so that will probably be a good exercise to help us in the future. 

Overall a much more pleasant and productive ride than what I originally had planned!

Test Run

I decided to enter Twilight Dressage this upcoming Tuesday as a litmus test on whether or not I want to shell out the big bucks for Houghton. As such, I cleared the indoor of all obstacles this morning and did our first full run through of 3-1 in apporximately eight million years.

Yesterday he felt relaxed and supple, but I didn't do much real work....because the day before that we spent an hour and a half working solely on the flying changes. It was typical carnage. The simple changes held much promise, but I tapped him once with the whip when he continued to be lazy and either trot through them or be late behind which naturally set of the histrionics. Ironically I ended up asking him for the change from E to B and vice versa and got a clean one each direction back to back. Apparently they're powered by rage. 

This morning he was feeling a little lazy in the trot, but went bigger when I asked and I think I've got a good warm up figured out to save both of us enough for a test. The canter, however, required a lot of fixing. Even to the right which is generally his stronger direction was eight million c/w transitions and not a single one was on the bit. To the left we had to do a lot of counter canter because the left lead has been dreadful lately. Fortunately I know how to make the counter canter really good thanks to DL and it improved the gait some. A few half passes and shoulder in also got it where it needed to be. 

We did a couple turns on the haunches that--dare I say--are getting pretty good, and then picked up the sitting trot to start the test.

He's been kind of a wiggly dick about halting lately, but we came up center line and he immediately perked up. It was actually kind of adorbs. Halt at X was square, immobile, and never came off the bit. Sir was like, "It's been a year, lady, but I know this game!"

SI both ways was supple and easy--thank you for the never ending drilling, DL, lol. Half pass was a little sticky which I was thankful for because it ended up taking us the correct amount of time to get to the rail. Knock on wood for this as well, but the medium trot is so easy to sit lately. Again, DL's influence.

Then the halt at A was a mess. I had to haul him to a stop which made his head come up which made him mad, and then he wanted to sneak in the fifth step when we only need four. Extended walk good. We did the TOH twice because the first time was just a bit sloppy and I knew he could do better without getting pissed. 

Canter depart was YUCK. He went right into the medium canter and super easily came right back, but the 10m circle was sloppy and he broke to the trot at X for the change. Whatever, I just asked for the new lead and carried on. Extended canter good, 10m circle better, and I kept him bent left coming across the diagonal until we'd safely crossed X and asked for the change--WHICH HE THEN GAVE ME NO DRAMA CLEAN AS A WHISTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was like, "OMG YAY GOOD BOY BIG PATS LOTS OF SCRATCHES YAYAYAYAY OOPS THERE'S C WE NEED TO TROT GOOD BOY!!!!!!!"

Extended trot fine, center line fine. He got tons of pats, a candy, and a stretch break after that. For my part it was just a sloppy, sloppy ride. Zero half halts to be seen, hands all over, zero mental prep, sloppy. 

So after his break I picked him back up to the sitting trot and just went around until we were both steadier in the contact. Then we did a bunch of halts and rein backs at A--four steps, not five, I know you can count so get the count right, sir. 

Overall, in the next couple of rides we need to work on the halt rein back, the canter departs, and HALF HALTING EVERYWHERE. But in general I don't feel as dismal about showing in front of the public as I thought I was going be.

He gets tomorrow off, and our lesson is Friday.

Ride Notes: Lesson 6/3

We missed last week's lesson because I was throwing up, but it was probably good to have that extra week to bring Opie back down to earth and off of Planet Rage Monster. He's been feeling really good when he gets it, it just kind of takes thirty minutes to get to that point. 

He was feeling stiff at the start of our lesson. As always we were working on SI and as always his first instinct was to lock his under neck, throw up his head, and lose the forward. DL asked what was different here than at home and I said when he gets like this I usually just go around in sitting trot doing nothing until he realizes I'm doing nothing and he comes over his back and gets to work. 

We agreed that I'm horrible at wanting to pull (no new news there) because I think it's going to fix my problem. And while mechanically he might go and do the thing, he's not through over his topline and therefore it's not really all that correct. Which is exactly why I came to her, because I want to be better!

She wants me to get better and sitting there, correcting myself, and letting him come to me. When I get it right, he'll get it right. Ugh, patience is not my strong suit lol. 

After about thirty minutes he did start moving out and soften up like he does at home, and she was like, "YAS KWEEN NOW WE'RE COOKING!" (...maybe not in those exact words) so at least I was able to show her a little bit of competency. 

We finished with half pass--at the trot and canter. Trot was primo, she gave us an exercise to clean it up a bit--half pass, and then while holding that bend push him back to the rail a few steps with the inside leg.

Canter half pass left was a bit lackluster as he's been feeling meh to the left in all three gaits lately (going to have PEMF focus on his LH on Monday). He did it, it was just significantly lacking in bend. To the right however was super balanced and lovely and we wrapped up with half pass to SI in the canter. 

I brought up showing at Houghton at the end of July and she told me scores weren't going to be great. I didn't ask her to clarify what she thought "great" was because 60% is fan-fucking-tastic in my world. She did say that she thinks by show season next year he is going to be a really great Third horse. 

So we'll see. It's an expensive proposition when we still don't have reliable changes, but mentally for me taking another entire year out of the ring makes it that much harder to reboot the horse show riding brain. 

Media Round Up: Dressage ride 6/1

Warm up trot:

Warm up canter right:

After I got off to get the dressage whip because he was being so lazy:

Taking great offense to switching whip hands:

An attempt at a change, which he's being skip trotting through lately:

He had a couple of tantrums, but I was able to channel some of his rage into a bigger trot, and we did accomplish some real work throughout. 

Media Round Up: Grid work 5/29

Blogger put these in reverse order so that was helpful. 

The grid was bounce to one stride to vertical one stride to oxer two strides to oxer. I wanted him slowing down and jumping up instead of launching out, but the distances were too long (set correctly, just longer than what I wanted to work on) and Hubby kept pushing the standards together when he raised the oxers. 

So basically all we accomplished was Opie running and bigger fences down a line. Which he found very easy, but zero improvement from running at smaller single fences.

Videos in order: