Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Bobby practices First 2.

Warm Up:

Me: Wouldn't it be nice if you could just walk around like a normal horse?

Bobby: Nope. Not when there's a trailer in the driveway!

Me: That should not be a factor.

Bobby: SOMEONE JUST OPENED THE DOOR! DID YOU SEE THAT?!

............

Bobby: It's canter time!

Me: No, it's trot lengthening time. But now we're out of room because you spent too much time throwing a fit and we'll have to try it on the next pass.

Bobby: It's trot lengthening time!

Me: No, we're going to do a normal trot down this long side. You lost your chance, and now you have to wait until we come back around.

Bobby: WHYYYYYYYY??? WHY DO YOU HATE ME??

Practicing 15m circles to lengthenings to working canter:

Bobby: We do canter lengthenings or we do nothing! THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN.

Me: Fuck you, dude. Canter, and canter on the correct fucking lead.

Bobby: NO IN BETWEEN. LENGTHENINGS.

Me: I'm about to pop you IN BETWEEN your fucking ears. Canter like a normal horse!

Bobby: LOLZ, switched my lead.

Me: Canter. Now.

Bobby: Well.... ok.

Mid-test run through:

Bobby: ZOMG, leg yield time!

Me: Ok, that's an A for effort, but this is first level at a little schooling show. Your hind leg doesn't need to be at K when we're only at X.

Bobby: Wooooo, look at me cross over! Oops, almost tripped.

Me: My point exactly.

...............

Bobby: Leg yield! Leg yield!

Me: Ok, but let's regulate this one. Go straight for a few strides. Now over again. Much better!

Bobby: WHY DID YOU WRECK MY LEG YIELD?! I KNOW EVERYTHING AND YOU KNOW NOTHING!!!

Me: Canter here. Canter. Helllooooo! We're over the leg yield thing. Canter!

Bobby: WHY DID YOU JUST KICK ME??? DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE LEG YIELDS??

Me: Get over yourself. Just canter.

Bobby: OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU.

Take 2 on test run through:

Bobby: We canter right here.

Me: No we don't. We walk.

Bobby: WE CANTER.

Me: WE WALK.

Bobby: FINE.

............

Bobby: We walk right here. You just said so.

Me: Right, but now we've moved on. We have to keep trotting and turn down the centerline.

Bobby: WE WALK. YOU SAID SO.

Me: Remove your head from your chest and just trot another twenty steps, you tool.

Bobby: Did you see that halt? That was a bitching halt. Give me a fucking pat, lady. We're done with this shit.

Walking back to the barn:

Bobby: I want to go on the trails.

Me: Ok. Let's go.

Bobby: Well....no, I don't want to go. I want to go back to the barn. I did enough work today.

Me: You're the one that just tried to dive down the trail head.

Bobby: I was just kidding. Go fetch me some cookies.

17 comments:

  1. I love these posts. Bobby sounds amazing and like he should have his own cartoon.

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  2. I'm so glad I'm not the only one having days like this...

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  3. Hahahaha that was funny. I have some days like that with my horses too.

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  4. I just spit water all over my computer at work! Hilarious post!

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  5. I second Beka, we need a cartoon to go along with these conversations ;)

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  6. Hysterical. LOVE THIS! "Bobby" cracks me up.

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  7. Maybe Bobby should do the test sans rider since he thinks he knows where hes going lol

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  8. I agree with Beka, Bobby needs his own cartoon- but Adults only content lol!

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  9. This post was awesome! Still lol'ing

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  10. That is so funny. Glad to know I am not the only one who has a horse talking to them.

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  11. Bobby should consider standup. Or his own radio show.

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  12. Hahaha, Bobby convos are a treat!

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If you can't say anything nice, fuck off.