Thursday, April 7, 2016

Can't ban these guns

After coming out wonky and having to cut the ride short, then a week off after a chiro adjustment, and then a missed week from camp, Bobby finally got to be tortured by BM again this morning.

Or torture BM? The debate still rages.

Obviously she was very excited to climb aboard him after watching his antics yesterday. She was like, "Oh my gosh, yay! This is my favorite horse to ride ever! He is so reasonable and relaxing to do anything with!!!1!gjkw9u!!"

Although maybe I just didn't hear her right and she was actually like, "Fuck." These things get muddled sometimes.

who wouldn't want to flat this magical creature? i swear he's this lovely all the time!

Warming up on the flat, she ran into all the same problems I had the day before: the hind end in a different galaxy than the front half, leaning on the left rein, holding a lot of tension in his jaw, and swinging his hind end around in a made up lateral movement instead of bending. These are a few of Bobby's favorite things.

Every now and then he'd lighten right up for her and coast around like the beautiful dressage horse he can be. Mostly though, he made her work her ass off for not a lot of reward. He's a funny dude in that he looks like he's going really well ninety nine percent of the time from the ground. "He's so damn fancy even when he's being bad. Until I get on him, I can't tell when he's got half a pound or ninety pounds of pressure in the reins, and he alternates between the two in a heart beat. I don't know how you used to do an hour of sitting trot with Trainer. It's all ab muscle with this horse."

He of course lightened up once she took him over a cross rail, but the whole ride was about managing his tension and anxiety. Anxiety about what? #bobbyproblems

Really that's what we tried to get to the root of for this ride. Why are you so anxious, Bobby? What is causing you such duress in your life?

er' day trit trot. really, not lying. 

BM broke down a five stride line a couple different ways until we finally had a ground pole 9' to a tiny X, 9' to another ground pole, and then four strides to a tiny vertical. She made him go through over and over, finally just looping the reins at him and letting him pick whatever pace he wanted until he just strolled through the whole line at a walk. "I can package him up and choose every distance for him, and he'd probably be just fine, but he needs to learn that jumping is ho-hum and not cause for stress. We've regressed in the seeing a distance department."

We brain stormed for a long while after they were done. We both feel like he's holding most of his tension in his lower back, and it's making swinging through in his step and manipulating his haunches that much harder. She's doesn't think there's anything wrong with him physically besides that. It's all in his head, and his head is saying, "OMG, SUCH DRAMA IN MY LIFE. BE TENSE OR BE GONE."

I dug into his hamstrings after untacking him and he practically sat on me to get the most out of his impromptu butt cheek massage. We're doing a lot of collected work (when I can access it), and he's loading up on the muscle right now. He's seriously just exploded in size lately, and building muscle is hard work. The hard work of living life like Hulk and having to go about your daily rides is apparently very extremely stressful when you're a Bobby Horse.

probably i should just make my horse wear this shirt himself. 

I think we're going to try free jumping him tomorrow to get an on-the-ground objective view. Other than that, just keep plugging along with lots of stretching interspersed. Hulk Smash is all for the best in the end, you great big moose creature.


  1. Oh Bobby. It's a good thing your muther luves you so much!

  2. Bobby can't make life easy, it would go against his code of honor.

  3. Sometimes I clench my teeth and chant "Easy horses are super boring" and try not to remember that I had an easy horse and he was a BLAST.

  4. Maybe Bobby and Tucker can commiserate about how totally stressful their lives are, and how life gives them anxiety, and how nobody really understands them.

  5. We need to get Bobby a therapist to talk it all out! Lol seriously though sounds like growing pains to get to some bigger and better stuff!

  6. Bobby put away your guns! There are children present!

  7. All aboard the Bobby gain train!

  8. I can't even tell you the amusement you and your horse bring me, I just about died at "Why are you so anxious, Bobby? What is causing you such duress in your life?".

    Muscle building is hard, I do sympathise with that one. It takes two weighted squats before my life is just the woooorst.

  9. I felt like I just read about Bacon and her brain. I don't know if I ever want to imagine those two together.

  10. Tell Bobby that he can play hunter pony in a few weeks! Maybe that will lighten his mood? LOL <3

  11. Well, at least you have a good humor about it all!

  12. That t shirt tho! But seriously Bobby what's with all the stress and tension?!? Let it go buddy!'

  13. He's just wants to practice being super expressive in his movement so that the judges are left breathlessly impressed by his dynamic performance when he shows.


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