Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Heard around the barn

Horse people are nut cases, that's a fact that can't be disputed. I moved to this barn and have stayed because I love the atmosphere here. Everyone is friendly and outgoing, and since my social life is the barn, that's a huge thing for me.

so naked and sporty.

When I was there this morning, BM was holding horses for the farrier, I was riding with another woman, and there were two electricians in and out installing lights. So many funny-to-horse-people-only things were flying around in conversations I couldn't help but share some of them.

Walking by Bobby in the aisleway: Your horse looks like a gorilla when he's clipped.

Saying hello to a boarder with her head buried in her trunk: I knew it was you because all I saw out of the corner of my eye was purple.

The new boarder updating BM on how her horse is doing in turnout: He's out there making out with Luka.

BM holding a psycho Thoroughbred for Farrier: Last time we trimmed him, I didn't make eye contact with him because I think he knows I hate him.

Farrier after psycho Thoroughbred got trimmed without maiming anyone: GOOD BOYYYY!!! It's a Christmas miracle!

Boarder N recapping her ride for BM who will put a training ride on her horse tomorrow: He's going to be so crappy for you. I rode like crap so he had no other choice than to go like crap.

If you guys have any one liners or hilarious stories from your own barns, please share!

tapped with mr tappy and not sure he's still alive.


  1. My best friend, when measuring jumps: "My vag is 2'9."

  2. haha awesome. "I rode like crap so he had no other choice than to go like crap" --> i so relate! i will have to pay closer attention around my barn... for science, obvi.

  3. "It's a Christmas miracle!" <-- love this :-D

  4. These are too funny! We're all crazy.

  5. "I rode like crap so he had no other choice" HAHA. Love it.

    I board on my own so I don't have anything really hilarious to share, unless you count me yelling at the dogs to stop eating horse turds.

  6. Ha! I've definitely done the "don't make eye contact one".

    1. That is my policy with every single llama I meet... I feel like if I accidentally stare them down they will retaliate with a spit wad.

  7. Oh man, I wish I could remember all the things my barn friends and I throw out there!

  8. Overheard at my barn (which would be me, talking to myself): "Boys, you'd better talk to the management about that."

  9. I don't board - 5 horses at home so no barn comments but my all time fave from my new-to-horses-but-leaning-REAL-fast husband is "I didn't know humans could put their ears back, but apparently you can".

  10. These made me laugh way too much. I love horse people. Well, some of them. We are pretty good at horse impressions too.

  11. This is awesome! I need to make a post about all the crazy stuff my husband says to his horses. One day my mom was looking at my drafty cross and said, 'oh no her ribs are showing' I promptly showed her that those ribs were infact fat rippling while the horse walked.

  12. I was standing in two friends in a long line for food in our university's food court. We were complaining about how our mares were in heat & acting like whores, and my friend (getting a bit worked up) shouts 'I swear to god, if she doesn't go back to normal soon I'm going to shove some fucking marbles up her vagina!' Unbeknownst to her, a guy had just walked up behind her to ask if this was the end of the line. After hearing (and looking scarred by) the whole thing, he proceeds to stand behind us in line for the next 15 minutes, beet red the entire time. Gotta love horse people ;)

  13. OH MAN I need to start keeping track of them!! My BO is the funniest

  14. Hahaha. I'll listen today and see what I get


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