Ha, no. Just kidding.
No I'm not.
|bobby gets me.|
I've been riding the heart broken train with the rest of the equestrian blog-o-sphere because I love Lauren like a hunter princess turned jumper princess but still my go-to hunter guru sister, and I've been dealing with plenty of heavy shit in my own life lately. It's piling up, but I'm dealing with it mostly through stress eating which I can get away with because then I stress all the calories away.
Seriously, there are no better diets out there than being a fucking neurotic mess literally one hundred percent of the time.
|i also take selfies with my dog because she's my only friend.|
Before I dive into riding recaps (preview: failure), I want to acknowledge the amazing secretary for the Genesee Valley Hunt HT this weekend. This is my first multi-day show, and I'm doing day one solo, so I've taken it upon myself to just go full on crazy bitch and freak the fuck out about everything.
I've been like, "Madame Secretary, please hold my hand and pat my head and tell me all will be well and also how to get to the fucking new dressage area because help."
And Madame Secretary has responded with, "Sure thing, demented girl. All will be well. Remain zen. I will help you in all the ways."
|tried using phone for video. did not excel.|
When I last left off, I think we'd just finished with a totally amazing jump school where Robert was very good. After that....we did another dressage school or two, jumped with Hubby there to document, and jumped again.
Flatting was good. I still need to make a conscious effort to not collapse my core and lift my fucking hands up more, but I pushed Bobby for his best, and he delivered. There might have been brief moments of sass, but the good outweighed the bad. I'm feeling ready to drop our last dressage score by a lot Saturday.
As for our documented jump school? Here, let this one picture sum it up for you:
I set up a diamond with two strides between each jump. The two strides were fine. The mother fucking approaches to the first jump--no matter which one it was--were the bomb dot com. And by that I mean they blew serious....
Well, I'm not sure how much I want to start making phallic jokes on a horse blog. That seems slightly inappropriate.
I persevered for awhile, but nothing I was doing was making any difference. The take off was just a hot mess.
Then Bobby started playing his favorite game: I have boots on, yes I do. I have boots on, watch me crash through everything I touch because I have boots on. Listen bro. I want to fucking accessorize. I want to put my fucking purple duct tape on something, so learn to pick your damn feet up regardless of what your outfit is.
|can't touch this.|
oh, wait. YES HE CAN.
I finally quit and had Hubby drop everything to poles. Which we walked. And then trotted. But never cantered. Because he could barely find a distance to the pole.
Bobby got a day off, did some fancy prancing, and then we addressed the Appropriate Distance for Take Off, So Help Me God problem. Obviously this involved placement poles. A lot of them. And a one stride for more poles no such thing as too many poles.
Bobby came through the first time like a fucking kamikaze pilot. Then he realized poles. I slipped my reins and let him figured out his feet on his own. There was much crashing and smashing, but when we came through the next time, and the times after that, someone took stock of what the fuck was going on and behaved like a gentleman.
To finish on a fun note, we figure eight-ed over this thing:
Because if there's one thing Bobby's good at, it's skinnies.
|and looking super smart.|
Then I got off and tried once again to figure out what the shit is going on with his RF. I do not understand its random swelling. It's not hot, it's not squishy, it's not painful. It's just stocked up looking around his ankle, and only when it feels like it. I thought it might be an abscess, and then I briefly freaked the fuck out that he was foundering, but no. His feet are icy cold and not tender.
Whatever, Bobby's leg. One more push for the show this weekend, and then you get some time off.