Saturday, May 12, 2012

Horse people are such snobs.

Really, we are. Even the nicest of us have a little hidden snob in there somewhere.

Example: Massage Lady (ML) is talking to me about teaching Bobby shoulder-in from the ground and as Bobby was quite pissed with us after nearly three hours of being poked and prodded, he wasn't cooperating.

ML: Well....I don't know if BO can teach you this as she's not trained solely in dressage like I am...

Puh-leaze. Pretty sure I have a book written by an endurance rider that shows how to do shoulder-in from the ground. Get ovah yourself.

That's just a small example, but I won't spend a whole post going into ridiculous snobby horse people things. We all think too highly of ourselves.

such an awkward looking creature.
Bobby was already a little pissed that he got brought in so early he didn't even get to head out to grass with everyone else so I had to shove lots of cookies down his throat to make him somewhat amiable before we started. ML did a quick evaluation of him and pointed out the main spots she thought she was going to have to work on: the right side of his neck, his shoulders, and his right hip.

Being the genius I am I told her that his back was causing him the most trouble, but being the genius she is she said, "No, no. It all stems from the neck." Well maybe ML, but I ride the dumb beast and I know that when he gets nervous and/or tense, his back is what clenches up. Not that I'm a snob or anything. ; )

She started on the right side. His neck took half an hour, but he wasn't showing any pain--just, "Ooh, that feels good!"--until she got to his shoulder blade/whithers. He kicked her when she started working there so she switched up her method a little more and put me in charge of his teeth while she went to work. She said where he was feeling the pain was where his girth goes and I should get him an elastic dressage girth to help him out. The front half of his back was so-so, then the back half was very sore. His hips were tight, but not out, so she released his hamstring and checked his stifle. He bit me when she did that--Bobby's stifles have always been awful.

To the left, she let me do most of the work as we'd now been going at it for an hour. His back was a hot mess and took a lot longer than she'd anticipated on. Holy cow is massage hard work. My arms were aching! He released his neck much easier to the left as he'd figured out what we were up to, and I got his shoulder freed up right quick all by my lonesome. Then she turned me loose to work on his back, standing from a safe distance coaching as he tried valiantly to kick the crap out of me. He was seriously pissy having to stand there for two and a half hours at this point so once his back was done, she did his hips really quickly and I walked him for the prerequisite five minutes before turning him loose.

He'll be off until Wednesday to give him time to figure out how his new and improved muscles work and to get his awful toes done, then we'll go back to long and low work for awhile. She said that before each ride I should release his poll and his shoulder. And for those doing the two point challenge? She said to make sure not to squeeze with your knees at all as that can put a lot of pressure on the horse and make him/her uncomfortable. Are your calves and ankles now giving you the finger? Well, pooh-pooh, calves. Go do work. Us horse people know it all!

2 comments:

  1. Hope that massage worked. :)

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  2. Shy loves her massages!

    I agree that horse people can be so snobby! No offense, but especially dressage people! Although now that I have Shy in this draft circuit, they seem to be the most down to earth set of people. Very nice and helpful!

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If you can't say anything nice, fuck off.