I mean, besides the fear of falling, the fear of getting hurt, the fear of wrecking, the fear of looking like and idiot in front of people, and the fear of bringing down a rail and having to start all over again.
Okay, so I have come to grips with one of the sources of all my uncontrollable fear and anxiety.
|naked horse turnout time!|
It' no secret I'm one of the popular Type A control freaks in the horse world. There are many of us. We're everywhere.
When Bobby was jumping before, I had no control of what he did once he turned in and locked onto the fence. He didn't have a reliable half halt, so I basically just ended up sitting there at the mercy of my bargey, unable-to-find-a-distance-or-make-good-decisions horse.
Not okay in control freak world!
Now that I have some input into what's happening beneath me and the way we approach the oh so terrifying painted sticks (and why cross country isn't scary because Bobby listens to me outside of the ring because Bobby Reasons), I think I'll be able to make some headway into this confidence thing. For instance, today I jumped my first oxer of the year.
I poked my head into the ring when I got to the barn this morning to see what jumps were set up. I'd already decided I wanted to jump again (because the amount of jumping I do in two days is probably less than what most people do in one schooling), and BM had what looked like a super fun exercise set up from the night before.
I didn't put anything down. I shortened my stirrups up two holes because I was feeling really wobbly yesterday in the canter. That made everything much better except for my leg strength which is now almost nonexistent in two point. Feeling super secure, I got Bobby cruising in the canter. Big jumps, MOAR PACE!
We started off from the shorter approach on the diagonal from the left. Coming out of the corner with not a lot of space to get everything sorted, I knew I had to keep my leg on to keep the motor going. I did, and with our awesome forward pace, the 2'6" jump was easy peasy and came right out of stride. A longer approach from the right was also no problem, as I kept my leg on to keep up the good canter and Bobby didn't take advantage and go speeding away.
We looped over both twice more, with only a little blip where I saw a longer spot and decided I had itty bitty balls and would go for it. I gave Bobby a tap on the shoulder to reinforce my decision and he took it with zero fuss.
|also time for naked horse tail scrub.|
With that success, I kept on coming to the oxer. I ended up on the left lead which was a longer approach, but whatevs. So brave. Bobby sucked back a little when we turned in, probably in response to me unwittingly tensing up, but I just closed my leg and told him to keep on coming. The very last stride before the jump, he surged forward, but it wasn't a rude burst. He simply saw his spot and knew he had to add a little extra umph to get there. Good pony making good decisions!
I was expecting it to feel like some huge jump that left us hanging in the air for an hour, but no. Let's be real. It was a 2'9" swedish, my horse is giant, and he basically stepped over it. Still felt like a giant win to me!!
|i was a good britches, feed me all the carrots.|