WRC Dressage Show

Holy shit. I think it's a good thing I didn't get around to writing this post the day of the show because I'd be calling out names, and pointing fingers, and being way more of a colossal bitch than I plan on being now. Instead, I've let it go (a little) and I'm going to attempt to be super mature about the shit show that was this dressage circus. I'll just say upfront that EVERYONE running this show SUCKED.

The show was Sunday. We were supposed to get ride times Thursday (It said this on the show's website.). When we hadn't gotten ride times by 8:30pm Friday, I emailed the secretary. "Oh, sorry, lolz! I'm still accepting entries so hopefully I'll have them out later tonight!"

Uh, what?

Saturday morning, we were finally emailed times. I was set with my three rides in the afternoon, which were nowhere close to my barn mate L's times--even though I'd emailed the secretary the week before, and she'd confirmed that she'd put us as close together as she could since we were hauling up together, and L had to get back to school by that evening.

which meant i blew some time braiding robert while we waited....and waited.

Then I talked to L's mom T at the barn show Saturday where she realized L hadn't even been given a time for her Training 3 test. T called the secretary, the secretary assured her she'd fix the schedule, and then she emailed us all new ride times...three more times Saturday night! Did L finally get her T3 time? Nope.

We loaded up, hauled the hour to the show, and Bobby gets out a sweaty mess because apparently he doesn't like hauling in a slant load. Poor dude. Hubby grazed him while I ran up to check L and I in. The secretary didn't seem to have any recollection of needing to put a time in for L, so she just stuck her in during the lunch break. At least she had a time now!

tasha is bobby's absolute favorite lady horse in the entire world.

Hubby and I went up to watch L do her T3 test where we waited....and waited....and waited....

She finally got to go in an hour after her freshly scheduled ride time, did her test, and then had to hang out in the pouring rain and insane wind for her second test. Hubby and I retreated to the car while Bobby grazed. The rain let up just as L went back into the ring so I took Bobby over to snap some pictures for her. Bobby was all, "Hey! I know them! Let's go say hi!!!" and attempted to walk right over the top of me in mission to be best friends with everyone. I gave him a hearty shank just as a woman walked by, and she gave me a disgusted look. Fuck you, lady. If you want to get run over by a 1200 pound dipshit, feel free.

The rain clouds blew over and the sun started to think about coming out when I went to get Bobby ready. The show was running about an hour and a half late at that point, and by the time I got on to warm up, I should have been riding my last test.

Bobby was pretty fresh warming up, probably bored out of his brains by that point and spurred on by the insane winds. We had a little w/t/c and headed across the way to wait for the last Training rider to go in--we were the first First pair to ride.

I checked with one of the girls standing by to make sure they were wrapping up Training, and she told me yes, but they were doing the Prix Caprilli class next. Uh, what? So I jumped off Bobby, refusing to sit on him for another half an hour doing nothing. Then another woman walks by and mentions that they're about to start the First riders. Wait, what?! There was no one official available (of course not!) so I went with what was supposed  to go next--that being ME--and got back on poor Bobby.

Let me tell you, the only thing harder than getting on your dancing 17hh horse in a western saddle while wearing skinny jeans? Getting on your braided 17hh horse in a dressage saddle. I had no mane or saddle horn to grab on to, and while Bobby was standing like a saint, I couldn't heft my giant ass up there despite needing to be in the ring now. I finally dropped my stirrup two holes, grabbed a fat button braid, and hauled myself up.

I checked with the judge to make sure we were all on the same page, and she blew the whistle for me to go in. Finally, right?

Wrong!

Just as I was about to go in, the judge blew her whistle again and called out that she didn't have her scribe back yet. YOU DIDN'T THINK OF THAT THE FIRST TIME YOU BLEW ME IN?!

So we kept trotting until the scribe came back and we were allowed to start.

The test was not great. Bobby felt like a fire breathing dragon as evidenced by his not so stellar (or even really existent) first halt, so I was riding super conservatively trying to keep him looking relaxed and happy. My reins were too long, Bobby does not do the whole "stretching" thing, and it was kind of a mess in general. But it was accurate and he kept a lid on it. The judges comment was, "I'd love to see you on a calmer day! Your horse seems like he's a little on his toes."

My horse seems like he's about as fed up with this fucking show as I am, lady. We ended up in second place with a 60% for 1-1.

I took him back to warm up to do a couple of leg yields, and he seemed more willing to get down to work. A half an hour later, we went back in for 1-2. He was a lot more settled this time around and put in what I thought was a pretty good test. His leg yields were a little crooked, but he's still not great at them even at home. We even got a couple of unsolicited "Nice job"s from spectators.

the camera died before the test finished.

The judge, however, disagreed. I don't think I've ever seen so many fives in my life. She didn't really have any comments besides "not working trot", "not working canter", "no difference shown" in lengthenings. Okay....I'm no dressage judge, and I'm hardly an expert dressage rider, but were we really going so slow that we didn't even hit a working trot? Another second place, and another 60%.

Back in we went for our final test. We circled the arena at the trot. And then we did it again...and again. The judge was busy with someone from the office and hadn't even glanced up at us yet. I brought Bobby back to the walk and we moseyed around the ring a couple more times before we finally got the whistle to go in. 

We trotted in down the center line, and as I'm watching the judge, I notice she's busy talking to her scribe and not watching us. Okay...I keep trotting and halt at X. She still hasn't acknowledged my existence.

We sit there at X for an entire minute before the judge notices us hanging out. "Oh, Carly! Ha ha, proceed."

I was so fucking tempted to just walk out and be done with it, but I was a grown up and ran through it. She gave us an 8 for our first halt. Amazing, since SHE DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT. I think we should have gotten a 10 for standing there immobile for so long. Instead, she threw us a 10 for our final halt. We got 8s for both counter canter loops, and an undeserved 8 for our change of lead through trot at X where Bobby scooted sideways two steps in the transition, almost came back to the walk, and then ended up on the rail well before H. 

We ended up with a 63% for first. 

piglet being a more attentive judge.

I got Bobby wrapped and groomed before heading up to collect my tests and ribbons. When I got up there, they didn't even have the 1-2 tests done yet. Why? Oh, just because some of the scores hadn't been written in so they had to be run back down to the judge to get filled in. 

Yeahhhhh.

BO tried to convince me to wait around to see if I got Champion or Reserve, but they were lumping the First riders in with Prix Caprilli and the one musical freestyle, and I was not waiting for that cluster fuck to finish for the chance of one more ribbon. 

We'd left the barn at nine that morning and didn't get back until 5:30. I think I can say with confidence that any show being run by that group of people is a definite no-go in the future. 

HHF Barn Show

I think it goes without saying that it was overly ambitious of me to think that I was going to be able to put out show posts the day of the show this past weekend. I was so spent by the time I got home each day, all I wanted to do was stuff my face with food and Advil and lay on the couch.

So I did.

On Saturday was my barn's fun show. There were ribbons, and little trophies for division champs, and it was judged my a real outside judge, but it was mostly just about getting out and making a fool of yourself with your fellow barnmates. I think everyone accomplished that. It was mayhem all day, but fun mayhem.

I got to the barn about an hour before the first division went off to find Bobby flat out in his stall snoring away. Nevermind the masses of ponies coming in and out, the horses in the crossties, and the people banging around all over the place. Bobby needed his morning nap. I watered and hayed for BM while I waited for him to wake up, scratched out of the jumping classes, and got my number.

BO's dog and bobby had the same game plan for the day.

Once Bobby was looking bright eyed, I tacked him up and took him down to the indoor to get him moving around and to see how he was feeling. Well. He was feeling quite naughty. We were in there by ourselves at first, and then joined by one other horse, and he was a nutter. I had literally no steering and no brakes. There weren't even any barrels set up down there! He had his rodeo outfit on and was ready to start his own rodeo.

Needless to say, he lost his snaffle privileges. I put him back in his stall to wait for the gaming to start and went up to do ribbon duty.

bathroom break!

After the advanced flat classes, we took a bathroom/food/jump set up break. S and I ran into town to get pizza, and by the time we got back, they had just started the jumping classes. We were supposed to do the gaming division right after the jumping, so I got Bobby tacked back up and headed up to the outdoor to wait.

With a schedule change to do more equitation classes, we waited for a long time. I hate just sitting on my horse doing nothing, so I pulled his bridle and gave him some alfalfa to snack on while we waited for our turn.

just chilling. 

We finally got to go in and warm up again quickly while the jumps were removed and the barrels set up. I grabbed T to video our runs and BO volunteered us to go first.

The first barrel is what usually happens to Bobby on the last barrel--he has to wait a beat for his back half to catch up with his front half and he stalls out for a moment. I love it. I think it's hilarious and sums up his giant, uncoordinated moose body perfectly. It wasn't our best run, but let's face it. Bobby is never going to be a champion barrel horse. He has fun, I have fun, neither of us cares how ridiculous we look.

We did keyhole next which is where you're supposed to run down through a set of cones or flags, turn around, and run back. BO was being cruel and set up a box for us to run into instead, and if we stepped out of the box we got eliminated. That was nearly our undoing because Bobby has no problems jumping poles (and has often eyed the fence like he wouldn't mind taking a stab at jumping that as well, which is extremely disconcerting), and he does have a problem stopping.

We made it, but barely!

We did the magazine race next. You get a number, run down, dismount, tear out the page you were assigned, get back on, and run back. I didn't think to take my gloves off so I could barely turn the pages, then Bobby was being a little wild to get back on. We had a helper down there to hold horses, and he was doing a good job, but climbing onto your 17hh dancing horse in a western saddle while wearing skinny jeans is no easy trick. No video of that as T got on her mare to do the trail/obstacle class right after us.

I ended up adding the obstacle class last minute just because it looked fun and chill. We opened and closed the gate to let ourselves in, trotted down to the bridge to cross that, put a flag in one can to another, walked through a zig zag and backed up through it (the backing was tricky), down to the mailbox that we had to open and close, through a very narrow chute of flower boxes (that Bobby took a peak at, but walked through when I gave him a squeeze), and down into a box where we did a turn on the forehand and walked back out.

I don't know how we did in the trail class, but we got a second in barrels and keyhole and a fourth in the magazine race (out of...four?). I only got two ribbons back because I was trying to get out of there to let my poor puppies out of the house, but I'll take any satin I can get!

Overall a really fun time. Not conducive to preparing for a dressage show the next day, but when you have a pro pony like Bobby Magee, it ain't no thang.

New saddle!

Yay! I joined the new saddle blogging band wagon!

puppies say, "what did we get?!"

My mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday (which is not until June, by the way, but who am I to turn down early birthday presents?), and I jokingly told her that I wanted a new dressage saddle. I'd told her this over Christmas as well, but she was all whatevski. However, she decided that of course Bobby needed a new saddle for the approaching show season. See the different angle there? She'll buy Bobby literally anything.

So after several days of trying to find a store that actually carried a Tekna S Line dressage saddle that wasn't "indefinitely back ordered", Mutti called The Farm House on Tuesday and my saddle arrived today. Heck yeah for customer service!

clearly i need a portable saddle rack next.

I'd already gone to the barn, and as tempting as it was to turn around and drive right back to try it on Bobby, I refrained. I'll just have to wait to give it a spin tomorrow either before or after the barn show and see if I can ride in it on the dressage show Sunday.

Speaking of riding old Roberto, I saddled him up in my western tack today because I'll only be doing the gaming classes tomorrow--no jumping. He was back to his usual exceptionally obnoxious self today, and he didn't get a fever all week, so I feel good about doing both shows.

We practiced barrels and key hole for a bit this afternoon. Mostly this involved me sitting with my legs up past his shoulders trying to get him to slow the fuck down with my seat since he was completely ignoring the slow twist snaffle in his mouth. I mean, I guess you don't really need to slow down in gaming events, right? And you don't really need steering either because he knows the barrel pattern. And technically he does eventually stop. We're totes ready for this!

It does make me giggle riding him western though because he so thoroughly enjoys himself. He even consented to do flying changes on the center line both directions like a total boss. Okay, so they were at mach speed and he took the flying part very seriously, but he was still too fancy.

Hopefully I can force my camera on someone tomorrow to get video or pictures. Hubby will be working all day so my usual photographer is out. Go, go, gaming Bobby!

April Review, May Goals

April goals recap:

1. Time dressage warm up. Ten minutes on the longe followed by another ten minutes under saddle before asking for real work is the best formula. However, without a spin on the line first, fifteen to twenty minutes of long and low under saddle is needed. Ten minutes will suffice if he's being generous.

2. Be completely comfortable jumping 3' courses. I half finished this goal...I guess? It just depends on the day. Sometimes I think 2' is terrifying, sometimes I think 3'3" is a snooze. My brain. It is broken.

3. Trot sets. Once a week, every week. He's definitely getting a lot fitter.

4. Solidify leg yields. I can get them when I ask for them now. They're not perfect, but they're as good as they've ever been.

april: winner for most awkward face ever.

May goals:

1. Don't ride differently at shows than at home. Unless it's for the better, of course. That means no blanking during dressage tests, and not too much floundering during jumping.

2. Improve the sitting trot. Self explanatory, no? I'm still getting used to riding in a dressage saddle again, and my sitting trot is still a bit wonky.

3. Plan June shows. The revamping of my previous show schedule left me with no long-term shows. Time to start perusing the omnibus again!

4. Drive the truck and trailer myself. Um, right? The whole point of buying me a truck this spring was so that I was capable of going places alone. So far the only place we've taken Robert with it is to a clinic that Hubby was able to attend so he drove. But the time has come for me to learn. Anyone in the Wilkes Barre PA area, stay locked inside!

That looks relatively unambitious to me, but it's all I could come up with that really needs working on at the moment. That's good?

One very brief hiatus coming right up.

Bobby is getting three days off (including yesterday) to munch on small doses of Bute and large doses of probiotics while dealing with a Lyme flare up.

After Monday's ride where he was pretty meh after getting worked as opposed to "GIVE ME ALL THE COOKIES AND SNUGGLES AND WHERE IS MY KITTY I MUST ANNOY SNUGGLE HIM, TOO!!!", I took his temp. It was spot-on at only 99.1, but I could tell he just wasn't himself.

normal bobby includes playing with the crossties and pillaging my locker for cookies.

His temp checked out, his feet were nice and cool, his gums looked good, he'd eaten up all his grain and was demanding more alfalfa from BM, and overall he looked to be in good health, but his attitude was a little too non-invasive for normal. I refuse to give him Doxy unless he has a serious, serious issue with the Lyme--and my vet is on board with this--so the Bute should make him comfortable, as well as the time off, and I'll see how he's doing back under saddle on Friday.

meanwhile he's doing all the grazing since BO is a spring grass nazi--which is super.
the ponies don't agree however.

I know most of you are like, "Who the fuck cares?" and the rest of you are like, "I can't believe she took the effort to write this post when it has nothing to do with anything."

WELL, I am trying to be a responsible blogger and keep consistent updates. So there.

And in more responsible blogger news, tomorrow is my May goals post (that I have yet to finish); on Friday I should have an update on how Bobby is doing and what classes (if any) we'll be showing in at the barn show Saturday; on Saturday is the barn show; and on Sunday is the dressage show.

So take that for being responsible. That looks like a whole shit load of fun posts to me!

So many interesting things!

Where has the time gone? Why have posts not been writing themselves? I appear to have been sucked into the Rolex vortex, and I also spent way too much time frolicking around outside "helping" Hubby "plant the garden". That really just involved me throwing the dog's football and occasionally wielding a rake. But I am so good at moral support!

Have there been interesting things going on in the life of one Bobby Magee in my abbreviated absence? Nope. Not really. I'll try to make it sound like there has been though.

i have no idea what i'm looking at, but it was obvi fascinating.

We had a very abbreviated jumping session on Thursday where we went through a triple combination that was all of 2' about four times total. It was only made notable by how intent my underwear was about invading my personal space, if you know what I mean.

i only have flat pictures to share. sorrynotsorry.

Friday exciting things did happen. Or really, they would have happened if I had had to get off my horse and beat the holy shit out of one young gelding that was channeling some wild stallion vibes which including staring us down fully erect with his ears pinned. Oh hell to the no. Fortunately, I have yet to meet a horse that has not yielded to the voice of Carly the "I will take you down, mother fucker" Horse God, and after he got his verbal smack down he stayed well clear of us.

But wait! I even have helmet cam footage from this!

I think it goes without saying that you should never ride your horse among a group of other horses unless you're a) retarded, b) on a horse you trust implicitly not react to other horses shenanigans, or c) a certified horse whisperer yeller. I am all of these things so I've yet to have a problem.

Want to seem more breathtaking helmet cam footage of our conditioning ride on Friday that also involved a few very tiny jumps? Yes, I thought you might.

If you're debating whether on not you have two minutes of your life to spare to watch the above videos, I'll go ahead and tell you to find something better to fill your time. Nothing exciting happens in them.

Sooo, where does that bring us? This is the problem with being such a lazy fucking blogger. I feel like I have to make everything interesting as opposed to just one ride. Hmm. Saturday Bobby had off. Sunday we ran through all three First tests. Or really, I ran through all through tests. Bobby slept through them, and he was mortally offended when I got after him in our last canter in 1-3 because he thought he should be done. Poor, poor Robert.

too sleepy in 1-1.

Today we did more dressage. Bobby was a little more alive for this round, which included locking onto a pile of ground poles that was making up our "dressage arena" while doing counter canter serpentines, snatching the reins, and blowing over them like he'd gotten some Rolex inspiration himself. Taken by surprise, I pulled a one-rein stop and further cemented the idea in Bobby's brain that jumping in a bit is never a good idea because I am clearly trying TO KILL HIM. Nevermind that we weren't actually jumping. I had to take a moment to talk him off the ledge before we could proceed with our regularly scheduled programming again.

either lengthening or just looking awkward.

Other than that, he was pretty good until the very end when I wanted to do a couple of trot-halt-trots to finish.

Bobby said no.

Bobby said he has never been asked to do such a ridiculous exercise before.

Bobby said that clearly the better option was to give your rider the dirtiest look possible, and if that didn't work, try going sideways instead of forward.

hold on, bobby. didn't we just practice halts yesterday?

What could have been two minutes of practice turned into fifteen. I normally tread very cautiously when it comes to Bobby having a mental tantrum as he's not the most stable of dudes, but he was really being pretty absurd. Plus, he wasn't getting wound up about not wanting to trot off. He was just like, "Nope. Not today, thank you."

But we did manage to finish how I wanted, and he got a warm, soapy bath and a long graze in the sun afterwards. I win this one, Mr Magee!

he leads a rough life.

Also, I need ten thousand pairs of new gloves. Look! A giveaway just for me!

TBT: Baby Bobby Learns to Pony

with former ex-roper and all around champion jackson as his mentor.

bobby clearly paying no attention to us.

"herp derp. i do not understand this game."

perfectly respectable baby racehorse in the making.
(and, as a long yearling, already taller than his pony horse.)

he never did grow into his ears.