Is it, Isn't It

A little past-week recap while we hit pause for the weather because ain't nobody riding when the windchill is in the negative double digits. 

refusing to move from the gate while i collected
his less sensible friends to come in early

hasn't stopped anyone from continuing
to destroy his clothes for funsies

Hubby had MLK Jr day off so he was nice enough to come out to the barn in 18* to get some video for me....after the farrier stopped in to put Opie's RH shoe back on. This is only the third time since I've owned him that he's lost a shoe, and it was at least a hind shoe, but still. He refuses to make this year any easier for me.

It was a good visual check-in for me to see how he's looking vs how he's feeling because those are still two different things currently. For instance, I thought we were absolutely flying in his left lead canter. I was like, "Yaaas, we are the wind, he feels amazingggg." And then upon watching we are in fact barely moving. 

got him cooking in the right trot tho

But all good because when I next rode him on Thursday, I made him actually move. He still felt sound, and he still let me help him out and get him straight, so all's well that ends well. 

The trot to the right felt fine. I get kind of stuck in this just go around in circles with some direction changes and as long as he feels sound that's good enough. I'm still afraid of breaking him and setting back all the progress we've made, but the better I can get him going--using all the tricks he knows, not just doing laps--the better his body is going to feel.

Or I'm going to permanently break him, and honestly that would solve some things as well.

To the left, I think he feels better than he looks. He still looks....NQR to me in the stupid LF.

He didn't pick up the noticeably lame LF steps, but he's still not even. I put him on the longe Wednesday and my goodness. He was very lame LF at the walk and trot tracking left. I kept him going though, and asked him to stop shuffling along, and by the end he looked completely fine. So I'm back on the rollercoaster of:

• Is this a mechanical lameness?
• Is it actually the LF or compensating for the hind end?
• Am I helping him by making him push through it by showing him how to use himself better?
• Or am I just helping him mask the problem?

idk have some more red light

With all that swirling around in my dome piece, I got on him Thursday with Mr Tappy determined to get him moving and moving correctly from step one.

He was SUCH a good boi. He hates Mr Tappy with a fiery burning passion, but he let me annoy his LH multiple times to get it stepping under him and all he did was get a little tense and rushy. No drama, no meltdowns, went back to work when I told him to ignore it. 

renvers king

There was a huge difference in how he felt once the LH was securely under him and working like it's supposed to. Maybe it's still hind end weakness making him rein lame in the LF? Because I didn't feel LF for a single step in this ride. 

Idkkkkkkkkkk 

MB is setting up an obstacle course for mental stimulation for everyone while we get through the cold and snow, but it's going to be a hot minute before we get back to real work. Hopefully he comes out feeling better for his little vacay instead of worse. If nothing else, the two feet of snow we're currently accumulating will keep his butt muscles working.

Teenager

Today Opie officially becomes a teenager!

side eye king

This is actually a big deal for me because I've never gotten a horse past twelve years old. I've owned one horse who was thirteen when I bought him so that doesn't count. And then I've put down horses at seven years old (a chronic flipper, he was legitimately a danger to himself and others); Red at eleven years old from a burst stomach ulcer that was causing him to bleed out internally; and Bobby at twelve from complications from sarcoidosis. 

So Opie has broken the curse! He is alive even if he's also been useless for awhile. Small wins, folks.

he took this milestone very seriously

MB fake laughed about it yesterday because I went to bring him in and he was acting like he'd broken his jaw. As previously shown, he likes to grab the chest straps on his blanket to play with. He likely wrenched his own stupid mouth while doing so and gave himself a nice adjustment. Fortunately, one of the boarders does repairs so he's going to sew the straps down so sir can't stick his teeth in them anymore. Fucking nuisance. 

an absolute child

In riding news, he's felt not the best under saddle. He's really ramped up his rumpus time outside with his friends. It's great he's clearly feeling so much better and wants to do partying, but rearing while playing bitey face for twenty minutes straight shockingly acts like doing 100 squats and makes him sore behind. 

Not to sound selfish, but damn, dude. Save some of those hard fought rehab results for me!

lots of time spent with the red light pad draped
over his butt

In typical Opie fashion, what seems to be helping him the most is doing the opposite of what conventional wisdom would say. 

He's been feeling good in his left lead canter--and seeing as how he was legit non-weight bearing on the LH when I first checked in on that after his injections that's a big deal--but the right lead and RH have been feeling locked the past few times. I put him on the longe over the weekend and asked him for it, and both directions he lifted his back right up, stepped under himself, and cantered off softly and happily. Ideally I wouldn't go about strengthening the canter with a questionable SI on a circle in our small indoor, but if that's what he wants that's what we'll do. For now. Until he changes his mind. Which he will inevitably do. 

One of my barn mates watched him go this morning after not having seen him in awhile and was like, "He looks way better, buuuut..." I told her to look away and come back in five minutes when he had a chance to warm up. Except she just kept (kindly) throwing out suggestions that logically made sense, but in no way would have worked for Opie. Asking him to lengthen his stride and drop his frame? Girl, no. Watch how fast he somersaults onto his head and really goes lame. 

He was in the double, and I coiled him up up up before slowly letting him out. And at the end of the ride, hot damn there was his back and ass and elevation and a real dressage horse. 

unit.

So we'll just keep keeping on, balancing the line between what Opie wants and needs, and what I can sneak in to keep pushing him forward. At least he didn't die of a broken jaw the day before he turned thirteen?

Certified Nuisance

After all the drama this horse put me through last year--all the vet visits and mysterious lameness issues, having to change his shoeing setup three different times, I don't even know how many diet changes, etc etc--you'd think he'd enter the new year with his own personal goal of being less of a pain in my ass.

He did not.

just trying to enjoy my morning

Of course it was in the single digits, so after I piled allllll my winter shit on, I drove over to the barn--in my truck so I could use 4wd because it never stops snowing here and the roads were still complete garbage--and pulled in to see Opie fully committed to the destructive lifestyle.

his bestie biscuit is gnawing on him on the other side

At our last barn, his favorite game to play with his friends was halter tag, but since no one gets turned out in halters here his new friends have taught him the joys of playing with clothes instead. 0/10 recommend.

I went out to get him and found that not only was his nose still bloody, but he'd clearly been annoyed by it bleeding and rubbed it all down his leg and across the front of his blanket.

this is why we love grey horses

I got him scrubbed clean, and I figured while I had him inside I'd let him have some rumpus time in the ring. Of course, after all the bucking and partying he blew his nose bleed open again and I had to do another clean up job before putting him back out, but it was good to see him move from the ground without just having to watch him casually trit trot in a circle around me on the longe.

He looks super sound at the trot--as he should at this point, but I'm so nervous about setbacks--and was sound at the little bit of canter he did. Interestingly though, he didn't want to canter around the short sides. That doesn't bother me, you pretty much have to be in collected canter to move correctly in our tiny ring and I don't think he's strong enough for that yet. However, he only cantered down the long sides in counter canter. If he was tracking right and picked up the right lead, he'd come down to the trot and then pick up the left lead to finish his "lap". So that probably means something, but I don't know what.

In the end, I think the nosebleed was nothing more exciting than a burst blood vessel or something. It was so fucking cold out and running around like an idiot is one of Opie's favorite pastimes. I couldn't find a cut or scrape anywhere in his nose, although he has plenty of dings on his head and neck from bitey face with his friends and probably scratching/rubbing his head on the hay feeders. He was fine, no worse for wear at the end of the day.  

I rode him the next day in the double because it was still cold and I wanted to do a walk-only ride. We spent the first half of the ride on the buckle with one hand, doing all the steering and stopping and rein-backs, and just generally having the most fun being a Good Boi who knows what leg and seat aids are.

When I asked him to switch from leg yielding to half pass, I finally picked up the reins because the shoulders did not understand without help. Which is completely on brand for Opie. 

so cute back in his big boi bridle

He remained super quiet in the mouth and happy to do the work even as I started to really collect him and add lateral work to the collection. Everything feels like such baby steps, but they're big deal baby steps. Being able to get on and walk right off without having to support him every step so his hind end doesn't start tripping and falling out felt amazing. It was only the walk, but he felt so sound. Like, I didn't even realize how subtly not sound he'd been before we started this rehab and fixed so many things.

Fingers crossed we keep ticking along in the right direction!

Wrap It Up

Rehab is boring, especially when things are going well. 

(That's not a challenge, universe!)

thicc boi

We've been up to the same old, same old: lots and lots of walking, tacking on time to our trot work, AND we've just started cantering. One lap each direction. Kind of a big deal. 

I've been letting Opie dictate the work we do each ride. If he comes out a little creaky or uninterested--which isn't alarming with the shitty weather we've had lately--we stick to slow stretchy work and mostly walking. But really he's been coming out feeling ready to work and finishing wanting to do more. 

MB rode him for our lesson two weeks ago because this month has fucking drained me, and she was all compliments on how strong, straight, and light he's feeling. In our lesson this morning, she helped us clean up the work we've been doing on our own. 

came down with whatever flu/virus is going around
on xmas eve and i'm still not recovered. opie's been
getting more candies than riding lately

We've been working hard on our downward transitions, using the lesson from LB at the beginning of the month. Basically not letting him finish the transition unless he's carrying himself behind and not braced in the front. This is hard work for one Dopie Horse as bracing is basically his answer to all things. But we've had access to so much good education in the past year, and one the biggest takeaways from all the UL trainers is "think piaffe". Which like, obviously this horse is not piaffing, but think collect collect collect shorten the stride weight the hind end lighten the front end aaaaand tada you're in the walk. 

MB further refined this by telling me to help get him off my leg with a little SI while thinking piaffe and he finished by stepping softly into the walk. Good boy, this is going to clean up so many things in our test work. 

small boi next to his large boi friend

We've also been working on our flying changes...from the walk. And today we moved into the trot. He has no problem cleanly changing the bend of his body L-R which is why his L-R change has always been easier for him, but good grief. Even at the walk he finds suppling from the R-L so difficult. 

We've been doing changes of direction through serpentines, sometimes having to enter the right turn out of the SI to kickstart suppleness. I have to really hold his squirrely ass body together with my legs which I feel like is going to muddle the aid for the change, so I've given up on having my legs available for the cue and really making sure to use my seat to enforce when I would be asking if he was cantering. 

He's gotten much more confident and comfortable with these at the walk, so MB had us try them in the trot. They were a little sloppier--although the L-R was still good--but not as bad as I thought they were going to be. So much homework, I'm fucking stoked!

exhausting work being opie

As far as this year's goals and what I have planned for next year? Who fucking knows. Opie spent most of the year lame so we didn't accomplish much of anything. And honestly, for as good as he's feeling now and how well he's rehabbing, I don't know what level he'll be able to return to this upcoming year. Ideally he comes back even stronger and with all the holes filled in, and we carry on trying to move up to Fourth. Less ideally, he doesn't hold up to the level of work I want to do, and he finds himself a more suitable situation. After dealing with the insane buyers of the world trying to sell him previously for this exact reason, I'd rather not have to do so again. So keep your shit together, Opie. 

Capable But Crazy: A Brain Lesson

For once, I'm not referring to Opie with that title!

It's me. Hi, I'm the crazy one. Called out in a very frank way by one of my trainer's trainers. 

happy to accept my candies but has been nothing
but a good boi lately tbh

Firstly, thank you guys for the supportive comments on my last post. I think it ended up being a little bit of a good thing to have a minor menty b because it made me focus more on my position and body control. MB even told me unsolicited in our lesson on Thursday that I was doing way less bouncing with my arms and hands. 

Also in our lesson Thursday, we cantered one whole lap to the right under saddle! It took us like three laps to pick it up. MB was like, "What is happening, I would have asked five times by now." (The canter felt fine, just weak AF.) This is important because it ties in to our lesson on Saturday.

Opie is feeling really good w/t and I finally sold my jump saddle so I had a teensy amount of cash sitting in my pocket, so I signed up for a lesson with LB who you might remember from a couple of information-packed lessons at the beginning of the year. I knew she'd be okay teaching mid-rehab, and she would still be able to pile on enough homework to sustain us for months. I told her I specifically wanted to work on our downward transitions that are jumbled and braced, and she totalllly delivered.

• In our warm up trot, I've been doing leg yields and then LY to SI. She told me to get my hips swinging in a big motion, but keep a quiet leg and a quiet hand so the increased momentum didn't fly out the front. 
• "This horse knows how to do a leg yield. You know how to do a leg yield. Just do a leg yield."
• She called me out for setting him up like I was teaching a LY instead of just riding it. It's five strides of setting him up and anticipating and then creeping into it. 
• Just like MB calling me out for taking way too long setting up the canter transition instead of just cueing the canter.
• I need to ride more instinctually because "you have a very capable seat" (Sorry, I died a little. Her praise is few and....sometimes nonexistent lol.)
• Get out of my brain and just ride. She said she does all her warmup work while listening to audio books so she's not interfering unnecessarily. 
• Especially in the walk, where the muscles may be moving but there's no real impulsion, I can't be fussing with shit and taking away because there isn't anything to take away. 
• Never more than a 2 contact on the reins in the walk.
• That brought us to a long white-to-pink discussion which ended up being our downward breakthrough. 
• Basically, the gum turns white when there's pressure from the bit. Relieve the pressure, and the gum returns to pink. So I wasn't allowed to hold my pressure for more than two seconds before I had to release it for another two seconds. (Listen, y'all, if there's one thing I've learned coming up the levels of dressage you LIT ER ALLY ride from half halt to half halt, they are not kidding when they say that, holy guacamole.)
• Sometimes though, because she described Opie as a "latcher" which is so true, I only get to hold that white for half a second before two seconds of release.
• This visual gave me something to hyper-fixate on which allowed the rest of my body to just ride the horse without my brain interfering, and shocker, Opie turned to putty and was clocking around like a dream. 
• Also for the downwards, she compared TBs to a horizontal line and WBs to rainbows, and said that TBs really need a little bit of lateral flexion to break up that straight line so they unlock in the transitions. We did a couple steps of LY-out on a circle. 
• She said especially since he's still quite weak, he might not even be strong enough to come down in a full correct transition. Instead, find the spot that he stops feeling good and starts to fall apart and get out of the transition. 
• For instance, coming into the walk from the trot, the second the hind leg drags instead of continuing to push, back up into the trot we go. 
• Do lots of shortening and lengthening the hind end while keeping the front end the same. 
• Works the hamstrings and the core.

full zen after our lesson, marinating under his red light pad

We ended after half an hour because Opie hasn't worked up to a full forty five minutes yet (even though we spent a ton of time in the walk, and then some time parked to chat better), but I got exactly what I wanted--so much homework!

AND. She said nice things about Opie as well. She said right off the bat his hind end looks looser and his topline looks better, and that the SI injections--from what she was seeing this lesson from last winter--were definitely the right call. So that was nice to get more confirmation that I'm on the right track with him. I need constant positive affirmations, I can't help it. 

I'm excited to work on all our new things, and hopefully paying attention to them instead of how to ride actually makes me ride better. Because this brain do be crazy.

Spiraling

Y'all. Not even over my horse for once. He's actually continuing to do really well--we'll get to him in a minute.

I am spiraling over myself. Total menty b. Cried to Hubby. Whined to friends. Pouted on my own. Been through it.

Let me show you why and then we'll break it down.

UGHHHHHHHHHH.

IT'S LIKE NOT RIDING REGULARLY FOR MONTHS ON END REVERTS YOU TO SUCKING AS A RIDER.

AND I WASN'T EVEN THAT GOOD TO START WITH, I DID NOT HAVE GROUND TO LOSE HERE.

this is why we all do screenshots, no?

I audited a clinic last winter where the clinician told one of the riders she needed to bounce more in her sitting trot. All of us ammys were like, "Pardon?! You're not supposed to bounce in the saddle!" But her point was the seat needs to be absorbing the motion of the horse's movement, like bouncing on a yoga ball. This ended up being a really great breakthrough for me. My seat stays in the saddle, the hips are loose, I feel locked in to my seat. Only I stopped doing real riding for so long, all my other parts have begun bouncing as well. And I assure you none of those are doing absorption work. They're just bouncing. 

Now, coinciding with my horse going lame this summer, I decided to work on my weight and fitness. Therapy helped a lot with this as it's hard to break the emotional eating and deep, deep depression cycle if you don't bitch slap the root of the problem. But I also wanted to make sure I didn't turn into even more of a garbage human being than I already have in the past five years and become even more of a fat weakling if my horse ever decided to be rideable again. 

In the past five months, I've lost 25lbs through working out and eating less like a toddler with a credit card. I do a ton of pilates and can comfortably run several miles a day. I feel AM stronger, but as Hubby and MB have repeatedly told me, there is no substitute for riding. You can be as strong (and skinny) as you want, but you need the riding miles.

I don't love that as an answer, especially because my riding opportunities rest solely on a horse working through rehab. But it is what it is, so in yesterday and today's rides, I toughened up and made myself focus on me and not just on Opie. My leg is swinging in the wind? Ok, stop. Positive tension. You have abs now--actually you have access to multiple ab muscles! Use them to hold things down. I feel better about that already. Quite frankly I don't know what to do about my boobs bouncing. They're big boobs. Send sports bra recommendations that are on par with a corset I guess. Also I'm allowed to weight my elbows, even if my horse says I'm not.

Enough whining about myself, let's whine about Opie.

He's getting stronger every day, but he is still weak behind. Not surprising, we're just going to keep on keeping on as long as he continues to stay sound and feel better every ride. This is his last ride before he got his SI injections--I was getting video to show the vet, so yes folks, I know he was lame. This is from this past weekend.

The beginning of our rides are always awkward as I navigate what he needs to feel his best, so it's usually a lot of stopping and starting and some lurching around until we both settle into a rhythm and get to work. Plus I have to mentally fight with myself over "Is he doing this because his SI/LH is broken?" versus "Is he doing this because it's one of his go-to evasions?" For instance, this morning he was giving me some drama about me sitting on his right side/putting my right leg on him. He's been doing this for years--it's literally his favorite complaint. 

We've also been working really hard on standing still. Opie haaaaates not doing things. Why take a break when you could be WORKING. His brain is just never quiet. A lot of times when we halt, he immediately starts raging. Much drama, much flinging himself around--he basically turns himself into my body in the sitting trot lolololol. But we're getting there with repetition.

would rather annoy his friends and be covered in
poop than stand patiently

In conclusion, I'm in a weird funk with everything. Me, myself, and my bouncing body....and my horse, my weight, my strength, my abilities, etc. Hopefully the horse keeps improving so I can keep logging the minutes, and by spring not only will I have a sound, strong show horse, I'll be able to ride it without cringing. 

Trucking Along

The good news is, everything is continuing along in an upward trajectory.

The bad news is, that's super boring.

Kind of a bummer to finally decide to return to blogging only to have the star of the show spend the majority of the year going from one lameness to another. I mean really, Opie, we have content to create here. The people want to see media. The people want cantering. Instead the people are going to get another post about trit-trotting for five minutes.

Our rides are basically walking for fifteen-ish minutes, trotting for five-ish minutes, and then finishing trying to convince Opie that a chill stretchy walk after such a boring workout is actually super duper fun. He's sort of starting to get on board with relaxing, but he's a horse that really likes having a job and doing the job, and he's much happier being overworked than under. Rest breaks are offensive, this stupid limited workload is offensive, wrapping things up after twenty minutes of low impact work is offensive, etc etc. 

He's been feeling consistently sound enough lately--although still weak on that LH--that I've felt comfortable bringing back in some brain exercises. For instance, today in our lesson we worked on upward and downward w/t transitions AND the halfpass! 

in our lesson 2 weeks ago we worked on riding a circle without
pulling on the inside rein. you can see why this was an issue lol.

Opie's transitions have always sucked because he anticipates everything and braces. It's great you want to be a smart boy and know the answer before it's even being asked, but maybe you could try to wait and listen. 

We were able to identify pretty quickly that he convinces me he cannot possibly go any faster if I insist on keeping my outside rein to myself, so I just chuck it at him. That's not correct obvi, so I focused on keeping my elbow cemented to my side and he just had to get over himself and move off my leg. That's the fun part of dressage--you never ever get done cleaning up the basics. Forever and always. 

He was quite annoyed with our insistence he could do things on our terms and not us giving in to his every demand. Instead of forcing the issue too much, once we got "good enough for now, just do those another thousand times (thanks, MB)" we got to work on the halfpass to give his brain something tricky to work on. 

i've been playing with bits since we're not doing anything
exciting and putting him back in his baby full cheek has fixed
his weird right head tilt

To the right, we went SI to HP to SI and back again, focusing on getting him to stand up his shoulders. The goal was to make him elevate in front so much he doesn't look like a pony anymore: "Opie, you look like you're 16.1hh now!" To the left it was renvers to HP without letting him get quick and crooked.

We did a few each way at the walk, and one each way in the trot, and then he got to be all done and actually deigned to do a really good stretch while only kind of running off with me. He says that was much better than what we have been doing, but mentally he could have done a whole lot more. Your weak AF butt disagrees, sir.

first snow of the season!
and today he's a nakey horse in the sun.

Hopefully we can keep trucking along on this path over the winter. I'd rather go too slow and bore poor Dopie to death and come out in the spring feeling sound and strong then rush things because it's boring and put us back at square one yet again. 

I'm planning on working on our right lead canter transitions next month if he continues to feel stronger like he is. Another thing to give him "work" without getting too wild. Add it to our fun list of: turns on the haunches, leg yields, straight circles (not pulling my horse's head and neck in), SI, HP, and stretching without raging. So many things to do in the walk! 

And for his cooperation, he keeps getting his red light therapy, PEMF, stretching, and special shoes. And custom diet that he mostly deigns to eat. We can't have things be too easy.