Let him live

Bobby has been keeping us all on emotional roller coaster. He is nothing if not his own personal drama machine. One day he's dying of cancer, the next he's in danger of foundering, and then by the end of the week he's jumping 18" like it's 5' and trying to take off afterwards because he's a wild stallion, bitches.

He still has cancer, we're still keeping an eagle eye on his feet, and his temperature, and his weight, and his breathing...and literally anything else that we can think of. But for whatever reason Bobby has decided that he feels great this week, and I don't want to be sad and just stand there and pet his mule ears and wonder when his last day is going to be when I have a (mysteriously/miraculously) sound horse ready to go and do the thing.

As BM put it in my lesson this morning, "Last week we thought he was going to die. This week he looks so happy and he's having the time of his life. Embrace it!"

really annoyed i wanted him to hold to still to
get a pic of the driveway getting redone when all
he wanted to do was go for a trail ride. 

We had a jumping lesson this morning to prepare for our hunter show on Sunday. We did three courses of six 18"-2' jumps after spending a good amount of time at the walk and trot getting reminded how to ride. BM had us working between renvers and travers to get his hind legs stepping under without winging around like the giant laterally inclined moose he is. Typical of us, we went from having to drill the bend when we last left off with lessons to now having too much bend and trying to stay straight.

We didn't do much in the canter because some fatty hasn't worked on two point in a jump saddle in far longer than she cares to admit and was struggling to maintain her breathing. I could hold the position just fine, it was just taking everything I had to do it. BM kindly pointed out that I'm probably going to die doing an entire hack division, but we all have to make sacrifices. #doitforthesatin

yeah, we're gonna need to do some personal
grooming before sunday.

We finally moved right along to the course not wasting any jumping efforts on warm up. Keep it short and sweet and preserve the feet. (Speaking of feet, when Farrier was back earlier this week she was like, "I went home last week and cried because Bobby has cancer and I love Bobby!" Bobby Magee: Fan Favorite.)

Our first run through was a hot mess. None of my body parts remembered what they were supposed to be doing, and Bobby was so stoked to be jumping that we might have finished the course faster than the speed of light. The second time I shortened my stirrups a hole, BM had gotten a read on what I needed to be yelled at for (All of it. Just...all of it.), and away we went. Much better, but still too grabby on my part causing some awkward distances. The third time was the charm and we hit everything out of stride and quit there.

....after doing a victory gallop lap because I could not pull my horse up. Could. Not. BM giggling while calling out, "Hoooo, ho, Bobby." was of no help.

I know some of you are going to judge me for taking a horse with a lot of problems and throwing him right back into the deep end. Two words: Bye, Felecia.

I don't know if the cancer is going to progress to where we have to euthanize him. I don't know if his feet are going to progress to where he's not comfortable enough to be ridden anymore. I do know that right now he's completely sound, he's happy to be in work, and if he gives any indication anything is too much, we'll stop right there.

what fungus leg? hoping to get that spot on his
knee cleared up, but he may very well have it forever.
the answer to all cancer questions is: i don't know.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy every ride I get to have on my horse. Who knows if it might be our last?