Wednesday, June 24, 2015


It's been hard getting into the groove to want to blog this week, and when it starts to feel like a job, I quit. Because there are few things in life I hate more than working.

Ha, no. Just kidding.


No I'm not.

bobby gets me.

I've been riding the heart broken train with the rest of the equestrian blog-o-sphere because I love Lauren like a hunter princess turned jumper princess but still my go-to hunter guru sister, and I've been dealing with plenty of heavy shit in my own life lately. It's piling up, but I'm dealing with it mostly through stress eating which I can get away with because then I stress all the calories away.

Seriously, there are no better diets out there than being a fucking neurotic mess literally one hundred percent of the time.

i also take selfies with my dog because she's my only friend.

Before I dive into riding recaps (preview: failure), I want to acknowledge the amazing secretary for the Genesee Valley Hunt HT this weekend. This is my first multi-day show, and I'm doing day one solo, so I've taken it upon myself to just go full on crazy bitch and freak the fuck out about everything.

I've been like, "Madame Secretary, please hold my hand and pat my head and tell me all will be well and also how to get to the fucking new dressage area because help."

And Madame Secretary has responded with, "Sure thing, demented girl. All will be well. Remain zen. I will help you in all the ways."

tried using phone for video. did not excel.

When I last left off, I think we'd just finished with a totally amazing jump school where Robert was very good. After that....we did another dressage school or two, jumped with Hubby there to document, and jumped again.

Flatting was good. I still need to make a conscious effort to not collapse my core and lift my fucking hands up more, but I pushed Bobby for his best, and he delivered. There might have been brief moments of sass, but the good outweighed the bad. I'm feeling ready to drop our last dressage score by a lot Saturday.

As for our documented jump school? Here, let this one picture sum it up for you:

I set up a diamond with two strides between each jump. The two strides were fine. The mother fucking approaches to the first jump--no matter which one it was--were the bomb dot com. And by that I mean they blew serious....

Well, I'm not sure how much I want to start making phallic jokes on a horse blog. That seems slightly inappropriate.

I persevered for awhile, but nothing I was doing was making any difference. The take off was just a hot mess.

Then Bobby started playing his favorite game: I have boots on, yes I do. I have boots on, watch me crash through everything I touch because I have boots on. Listen bro. I want to fucking accessorize. I want to put my fucking purple duct tape on something, so learn to pick your damn feet up regardless of what your outfit is.

lolz, SMASH.
can't touch this.
oh, wait. YES HE CAN.

I finally quit and had Hubby drop everything to poles. Which we walked. And then trotted. But never cantered. Because he could barely find a distance to the pole.

Bobby got a day off, did some fancy prancing, and then we addressed the Appropriate Distance for Take Off, So Help Me God problem. Obviously this involved placement poles. A lot of them. And a one stride for more poles no such thing as too many poles.

Bobby came through the first time like a fucking kamikaze pilot. Then he realized poles. I slipped my reins and let him figured out his feet on his own. There was much crashing and smashing, but when we came through the next time, and the times after that, someone took stock of what the fuck was going on and behaved like a gentleman.

To finish on a fun note, we figure eight-ed over this thing:

Because if there's one thing Bobby's good at, it's skinnies.

and looking super smart.

Then I got off and tried once again to figure out what the shit is going on with his RF. I do not understand its random swelling. It's not hot, it's not squishy, it's not painful. It's just stocked up looking around his ankle, and only when it feels like it. I thought it might be an abscess, and then I briefly freaked the fuck out that he was foundering, but no. His feet are icy cold and not tender.

Whatever, Bobby's leg. One more push for the show this weekend, and then you get some time off.


  1. I have had that issue of random no lameness/heat/squishy random swelling with my mare too. The fall after I first got her it was in her LH. Earlier this month there was some slight fill on the LF.

    Pick up your tootsies, Sir Bobby!!!

  2. Those jumping pics are hilarious and I have SO many like that (which will never see the light of day). Tucker also has a little random swelling with no apparent pattern to it, it's inside just under his knee on the RF. He popped a high splint on that leg a few years ago - so maybe he's got some extra fluid in the joint? I have no idea but I'm not mentioning it to a vet until he limps because they'll definitely find something wrong and it will cost me a fortune.

    And yes... I am with you on the not knowing what to blog about because Lauren's tragedy is taking up a lot of my mental space and I want to do or say something about her or for her on my blog and I don't know what. It's tough. But I am so heartened by how everyone in blog land is reaching out and supporting her. Bloggers are some of the best people around.

  3. Courage ended his racing career with clean legs.

    Jumped ALL THE THINGS last year with clean legs.

    And then I moved him to a dressage barn over the winter and BOOM random fill in his left hind. Not stocking up. Not hot. Not lame. Not reactive to it.

    Soooooooo whatever, I guess?

  4. I think the entire blogging community is feeling down in the dumps right now. Since Lauren's post I haven't felt the need to post about my own problems, mostly because they are so small in comparison...

    In any case I am glad Bobby figured his shit out for you.

  5. The I have boots on game sounds like something Estella would love to play!

    Any why is it anytime I stress eat I never seem to have the "stress away the calories" part....

  6. Even if you feel like a neurotic stress-eating mess of a person, I still think you're badass and I hope to be half as awesome a rider as you are when I grow up. And that horse show secretary sounds like an angel. I'd probably send her a fruit basket.

  7. I think Bobby is complaining at your teensy jumps. 'These aren't jumps pft, put that thang up, then I jump!'
    Not sure if it's the perspective but that one, killer by the way, jump looks ginormous!

  8. bobby is still pretty much my hero even when he crashes through everything and looks like he does in that last pic lol... so exciting about the multi day event tho - and thank god for nice show secretaries!

  9. Thank goodness for horses. Tragedy seems to be everywhere right now, and I'd be (even more of) a nutcase without ponies right now.

  10. But at least he always LOOKS badass. Even when flailing.

  11. Apollo had similar symptoms and it eventually turned into a "bone bruise". It looks ugly but he's sound on it. I'm excited to hear about the show....! :)

  12. Hey lady... hope you are well out there in NY. Thinking of you!

  13. Yes - we miss you here in blog land!


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