Tuesday, May 21, 2013

So. Hot.

The Top Five Reasons I Hate Summer:

  1. The unattractive shade of puce my face turns when I get hot.
  2. Despite being born in California, and the vast majority of my immediate and extended family living on the sunny west coast, my dad's Irish and English heritage and my mom's Irish and German heritage have combined to make me an albino. "Tanning" to my body means freckles and various degrees of sunburn.
  3. Sweating grosses me out. I'm not above holding my shirt off of my disgustingly sticky body and squealing like a two year old, "Get it off! Get it off!"
  4. Along those lines, sweat + "warm vanilla" deodorant + SPF 5,000 sunblock = I smell like a wet dog's ass.
  5. Every mutant bug known to man comes to life and wants to be my BFF. Dear Mutant Bug: Fuck off. I will go ninja warrior on your ass, and you will not survive. 
time outs in the shade are a summer must.

Since it's a balmy 90* outside today, I decided to go to the barn at 8:30 to try to beat some of the heat. That failed. It was still in the mid-eighties, humid, and no cloud cover. Whatevs. At least it wasn't raining! I threw Bobby on grass while I set up a grid from the August 2012 Eventing USA magazine.

The exercise is simple: A vertical and a square oxer on opposite ends of the arena and a double bounce in the middle. I only had enough standards for one bounce, but it worked. According to Courtney Cooper the purpose of this is "to introduce making shorter, more square turns. In time, this will help young horses to start looking for their jumps as soon as they land." Right up Bobby's wandering brain alley, right?

Bobby warmed up fine. The mares had been switched to the field above the outdoor and the mares like to run around for no reason, but he was relatively focused. Started out by warming up over the single vertical (2'). Jumped it the first time, refused it the second time. And refused it again and again and again. Oh, and again.

He finally got over it (I won't say jumped it) and we moved on to the bounce. "Oh?" Bobby says. "Charge the jump like a rabid rhino? Done and done!" ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. We had a spastic piss-fit about the bounce for awhile before making it through and taking a break.

Went back to work and cantered over a pole on the ground, counting out from 3 strides and then 5. So exciting. At least it calmed both of us down. Took another walk break to cool off and tried the oxer (also 2').

Man, Blogger is being a serious bitch about videos, isn't it?

Bobby refusing the oxer. Repeatedly.

I knocked everything down--angled the bounce, made the vertical a ground pole, and made the oxer an X. And still! Still!!! he refused.

Foul language runs rampant.

FINALLY, after walking everything and trotting everything, we were able to canter all the tiny little baby jumps. For fuck's sake, horse. What is going on in your head??

OMG, it jumps!


  1. I have the exact same heritage! Irish/German/English. I glow bright red when I work out and I never tan - I just burn like crazy.

    I feel your pain ><

  2. RABID RHINO! That's perfect. Maybe he likes the heat just as much as you do. I started riding at 5am in the summer... BUUUGGS!

  3. I have red hair, so I don't tan. I grow freckles, and every blood sucking bug loves me to.

  4. I also freckle and dont tan. :-(.
    Silly bobby.

  5. Man I wish Henry's stops were like Bobby's! Henry slams the breaks on at the last min.. not cool!

  6. The 1st part of this post might as well be about me too. People think I'm going to die when we try to show in the summer. Yes my face is bright pink and I'm sweaty, but no I'm not going to pass out (yet).

    1. Haha, I get the "are you ok?" question too in lessons/shows because my face goes bright red when I'm hot or working hard.

  7. I'm one of the "lucky" ones who can tan, but the summer is not a fun time up here. The mosquitoes are the size of small bats and the little ones the love to bite all over are VICIOUS. Hopefully Bobby gets his head back on!
    tell me about blogger being an idiot with videos...

  8. Ha I'm Danish/English/Irish, etc so much sympathy. Sorry he was being a butt, guess he wasn't enjoying the heat either. I hate Blogger and videos...

  9. Today I swore that I was going to pass out in the heat and humidity - which of course is the day that my AC in my car konks out on me. I am dreading August.

    Too bad about the brain trouble. Perhaps the heat and bugs get to Bobby too?


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