Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Dedicated to Sarah

You guys have read my mentions of Sarah several times. Sarah, owner of the wonder pony Blackberry and the mouthiest Dutch Warmblood known to man Memphis. She is my barn partner in crime (Interpret crime how you will. I can neither confirm nor deny anything.), and we have made numerous poor excellent life choices together-- most extending from, "I'm bored. Let's do bad things."

ironically, bobby and memphis now wear the bit the other horse has on.
sharing is caring.

Sarah pulled in right as I got on Bobby yesterday and we agreed we should finally try our ultimate bad idea. Sarah went to get Memphis ready while I worked Bobby quickly. I focused almost solely on leg yields. Super fab tracking to the right, but fucking hell, I could not figure myself out to the left. It was like the left side of my body, from the hip down, was paralyzed. My leg and my pelvis did not want to move back. Bobby was like, "What the fuck are you asking me to do besides go crooked, you nut job?" And I was like, "ARGHGFHBGKJLKLH! Let's sit down and have a talk, you useless excuse for a left side of a body!" Clearly needs to be worked on.


Anyway, Memphis came down looking adorbs in his bad idea gear and Sarah led him over to put side reins and a longe on him. Memphis is not a fan of snow falling off the roof--and by not a fan, I mean he freaks the fuck out.

Snow slides off the roof. Memphis hops sideways, moving literally only one of his feet, and steps on Sarah. And levels her. In retrospect, we both should have felt bad about the situation, but we were both laughing too hard. Sarah hobbled over the mounting block and declared her foot broken. She's almost done with nursing school, so I was inclined to believe her. I told her to go get some vet wrap and wrap it while I ponied Memphis around.

She came back down to longe the crazy beast while I cantered Bobby. Memphis was crazy, Bobby was fabulous. So uphill, so fancy. He's such a good dude most of the time.

Sarah texted me later that night to say her foot was not in fact broken. Just "extensive soft tissue damage." Awesome bruising will ensue. I'm proud.

She was back at the barn today, amazingly being obedient and not riding. In return, I forced her to clean out her locker. We found matches to all her polos. Literally a miracle.

halfway through unpacking the black hole.
I headed down to the arena with Bobby to kick off the circus. Other riders slowly started trickling in until there were six of us--one longeing--in a small dressage ring sized arena. BO correctly predicted that Bobby would have to be the calming affect for everyone. The dude just doesn't care. If someone goes bonkers, he'll turn an ear at them... if he's feeling frisky. I think we spent enough time in maniacal warm up rings last year that he's pretty unfazed by horses cutting him off or coming up behind him. Ain't nobody got time for that!

He was being so lazy starting out. He almost fell on his face walking into a ground pole because he couldn't be bothered to pick his feet up. He finally worked into a bit of a rhythm, suprisingly getting more forward with some sitting trot. I had to beat him into the canter a bit, but he was okay once he was in it. Mainly, it was just a ride to get out. Not much schooling going on.

I probably wouldn't have done much anyway as the fog and the heat were fucking oppressive. It was like being smothered. You couldn't even see yourself in the mirrors as you went by.

I don't know when I'll get to the barn next. Depends on the weather. I just don't feel like driving in shitty weather anymore. I'm getting too old for that nonsense.


  1. I nearly had a heart attack driving to/from the barn last night. I couldn't see anything and half the road was either covered in ice or underwater. I hate climate change.

    Glad to hear Sarah's foot isn't broken, that would've really sucked (speaking from experience). We may need photos of the impressive swelling.

  2. Wait... what was the ultimate bad idea?! Was it ruined by the foot incident?

    1. The bad idea will remain under wraps until it gets done. It is so incredibly AWESOME, I can't spoil it. And yes, a wrecked foot absolutely stopped it in its tracks.

    2. I was wondering the same thing! I thought I missed it. :)

  3. I so want to hear more about the ultimate bad idea!!! really can't wait to hear that, glad that Sarah's foot is okay.

    The weather seems to suck everywhere at the minute, i'm not hearing any good weather vibes just yet!

  4. Poor Sarah, hope her foots heals soon.

    Can't wait to hear what you two are up to!

  5. Always good to have a partner in crime! :)

  6. This is the proper response from horse people when one believes their foot is broken "I told her to go get some vet wrap and wrap it". Hardcore.

  7. I bet you'll want to take pics to post as soon as the bruising begins :) I love it! So great that you have a partner in crime.

  8. Sounds like you and Sarah have heaps of fun together. I cant wait to hear what the bad idea is.


If you can't say anything nice, fuck off.